Konoha's Fatal Joke
by EnvoyofKairos
Summary: People forget what truly makes a shinobi terrifying: Ingenuity, stealth, versatility, and creativity. Too many rookies focus entirely on brute strength. Oh, if only they could see the little monsters in the shadows, laughing at their ignorance. Laughing as they step straight into a certain blonde brat's trap, a fatal prank, that'll be remembered for centuries. Trap Master Naruto!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **Trickster's Mind, Hero's Heart**

Few things can strike fear into the heart of a true warrior. What frightens them is a mark of what truly separates the novices from the experts. You ask a novice, and you'll hear them list off the names of a dozen or more notorious jonin or nukenin from various villages, and occasionally someone from their own village with an infamous temper. The likes of Uchiha Itachi and Momochi Zabuza are among the top listed, for obvious reasons. Behind them you'll occasionally hear Sasori of the Red Sands, and outside Kanoha, you'll hear tales of Hatake Kakashi. Few of them ever list the acting Kage of course, as they're essentially benched. Otherwise, they'd still be raving about The Professor, Sarutobi Hiruzen. If you ask any of these novices why they're afraid of these ninja in particular, they'll either speak of their vast list of achievements or destructive capability.

The experts are those that know why these ones are frightening and why there are others that could be far worse.

Stealth, versatility, and misdirection. Every year, countless novice shinobi join the ranks expecting to get by on overpowered techniques and combat prowess. These are the ones that forget what shinobi are meant to be. Ninjutsu are powerful, but their versatility is far more important, and the greatest of ninja must be able to utilize it to the fullest of their capability, either by mastering and expanding a small range of all-purpose techniques or becoming adept at so many that your move pool is bottomless. What is most terrifying of these true masters is that some of them can go completely unnoticed, just waiting to untap that potential. An exploding tag under your feet just waiting for a spark. The most fearsome are the ones that have yet to ignite and are given a chance to.

Of course, this is a capacity that few ever develop, and fewer ever maintain. What's rarest of all is those who are born with this capacity and carry it as a core aspect of their being. Usually, those few miracle children are easy to recognize, but for all the wrong reasons.

"Naruto…. The hell did you do this time?" Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose with his wrinkled, arthritic fingers. Upon opening his eyes once more, he's almost blinded by the child's ear-to-ear grin. His spiky blonde hair and random patches of his face and black T shirt are all stained by various colors of paint ranging from neon green and pink to his favorite "kill me" orange. The vast number of stains marring the visages of three of his favorite anbu now standing behind the boy almost makes him crack a smile, professional apathy be damned.

The boy in question just chuckles as he tries to ease away from the assassin currently gripping the back of his shirt collar. "Well, this paint cannon trap was supposed to be for that arrogant prick Tsurugi on his way into work this morning..."

Hiruzen raises a brow and leans back in his chair. "Tsurugi Kaneda? The grocer? Why exactly was he your target?"

Naruto grunts and drops his smile. "He's been doubling his prices on me. Figured I'd pay him back by ruining a good set of clothes and making him miss a day's sales."

Hiruzen makes a mental note to visit Mr. Tsurugi personally later. "Alright… and why exactly did you and these anbu get caught in your trap?"

"Ummm…" He scratches at the back of his head and averts his gaze. "They caught me fleeing the scene of another prank I pulled on Genbe-sensei at the academy that… may have been a bit more dangerous than I thought? How what I supposed to know flour was that flammable?" Well, that explains the small explosion at the academy earlier. Not much damage, just a little paperwork and a teacher he intended to fire got burned. Hiruzen waves for Naruto to continue. "O-Oh, right, um… well, they chased me a good distance, and I lead them all the way to my trap, which sadly, wasn't triggered properly when Tsurugi-teme got to work. But, I figured it'd slow these guys down, maybe blind em or something. But I had to trigger it myself to do that, so I got caught in the blast."

Hiruzen nods faintly, turning to his crystal ball and gazing at the alley behind the grocer's. The paint spatters on the opposite wall to the tampered dumpster turned into a hidden paint cannon provides a clear outline of the young ninja in training and the three anbu. "And how exactly did you get the supplies to build something like this? Or even learn to build it to begin with?"

Naruto snorts and chuckles at his own ingenuity. "You wouldn't believe what can be done with what most people throw away. Old paint cans or colors they don't want, old pipes, air tanks they think are empty left over from old folks dying… and that's just the kinda stuff I used for just this prank. Though…" He bites his lip faintly. "… SOME of it may be stolen from stores that've kicked me out or overcharged me…"

Silence falls as Hiruzen lets the details sink in. A self-taught, mechanically capable prankster capable enough to catch anbu in one of his larger, more complex traps. If the paint had been poison, acid, or even just kunai, he had no doubt all of them would be dead right now.

That kind of efficiency and the rarity of this gift cannot be squandered. "Anbu… leave and clean yourselves up. I have to speak with Naruto for a bit, and your presence is unnecessary." The three masked figures behind Naruto nod and shunshin away. Hiruzen offers his adoptive grandson a smile and a wave to usher him over. Being but eleven, he's all too eager to rush to the Hokage's side. "Naruto… you have a very unique and rare talent among ninja. Not a bloodline like the Inuzaka or the Hyuuga, but a personal skill that sets you among an even rarer and more valuable type of shinobi that I haven't seen a true prodigy of in years, and the last one wasn't even from this village."

Naruto's sapphire eyes light up at the thought of how special he just might be. "Really? But… what? I… I constantly fail in class." His smile fades away as he averts his gaze to the floor, lost in thoughts of his many failures. Sarutobi knows all too well that the scowl Naruto forces on hides tears. "Iruka-sensei is the only one that sees any potential in me, but he's never seen anything 'special' about me…"

"Well, this is a talent that most would have difficulty noticing… that, and Iruka may be a little distracted by having to help clean up the results of your pranks at school." Hiruzen chuckles at Naruto's indignifying groan. "But no, this talent is something truly rare. You, Naruto, are natural trap master. Your ability to devise traps and pranks from whatever materials you can find and turn them on the most careful of ninja in my ranks is incredible. Just think what would have happened if you'd designed that trap to harm and used it on a troop of bandits, or an enemy shinobi!" The light returns to Naruto's eyes as his potential sets in. "You're brilliant, Naruto. Brilliant in a very uncommon way. What we need to do now is ensure you master this talent."

Naruto leaps and cheers, throwing a fist to the ceiling in pure joy. "YES! Ok, how do we do this? A private training session? My own sensei? OH! Teach me a jutsu for trap masters!"

The Hokage snorts and burst into a short bout of laughter. "No, no, Naruto. I can't manage to provide quite that much. For one, trap masters are rare and secretive. Next to no jutsu devised just for them have ever been recorded. Furthermore, I can't recall having one in this village right now. This is an undertaking you'll have to see through yourself." Naruto slumps in dismay. "What I can do is provide access to some supplies to teach yourself more easily with. The first thing would be learning to trap animals by building your own traps from scratch." He turns around in his chair and rolls it across the room, digging into one of his bookshelves. "Let's see… yes, here it is." He pulls two books free and tosses them to his favorite blonde knucklehead. "Basic physics and trap construction. If you can get through these and trap ten animals of various sizes, then I'll provide the tools for your next step."

Naruto fumbles as he catches the two books, nearly stumbling face-first into the front of the desk. Once he catches himself and gets a better look at them, he groans and almost drops them both. "I have to read? Come on! Can't you just teach me a jutsu?"

Hiruzen sighs as he rolls closer to the windows. "Naruto… you say you, one day, want my seat, and my hat. Do you realize how much reading that's going to require? How much smarter you'll have to be?" He peeks over to Naruto to find him at full attention, despite the mild bewilderment on his face. "The Hokage isn't just the strongest ninja in the village. We are also among the smartest, the most level-headed, the most trusted, and the most deserving. The only ninja in this village that can outthink me are the Nara, and they're too lazy to want the job. Few are quite as level as I am, save for the best of the Aburame. Whether one deserves it is determined by the purity and meaning of their achievements. As for trusted… well, after all of your pranks thus far, what exactly have you done to gain the people's trust?" He turns to stare out the window. "You have a very long and difficult road ahead of you if you want to be Hokage, Naruto. So the question now is… will you let a little reading get in the way of that goal, or is it too daunting for you to want anymore?"

Silence falls for several moments as Hiruzen stares out the windows of his office and into the vast expanse of his village. Oh, how it's grown since his youth. His sensei would be proud, bless the Nidaime's soul. He had succeeded in inspiring a once rambunctious young man into being the now second oldest kage in history. Hiruzen could only hope he had not crushed this youth's dream with the reality of it.

To his surprise, he hears the turning of pages behind him. "… Well… it doesn't look too hard. Not as hard as the tests in class, anyway…" He turns his head up to meet Hiruzen's stern gaze with his own piercing eyes. "I'll get back to my place and get right to work on these. I'll see you in a week!" Naruto turns and bolts out the door, leaving a stunned and confused kage in his wake.

… Wait… what was that about the academy tests being harder?

"… Should I look into that?" Sarutobi turns to look back out the window, finding one of his most trusted former anbu seated on the roof.

"Of course. Get Iruka to assist you. I'm certain he's not involved, and he'll be eager to help nail the culprits. I shouldn't have to tell you to be discreet about it, but then again…" He sighs and rubs his temples. "Most of our ranks seem to have forgotten what stealth is. Only the anbu and genjutsu users seem to have a grasp on it anymore."

"Hm.. I suppose you're right." The silver haired jonin out the window closes his book and stashes it away. "I'll be right on it. And I'll be sure to keep track of Naruto's progress for you, while I'm at it."

Hiruzen nods and turns away, knowing Kakashi's already gone by the time he opens his eyes again. They quickly fall upon the paintings of his predecessors, and the lost successor. "… He's so much like you both. Your drive. Your passion. Your potential. I hope you're watching…" He grins.

"Big things are in his future. I'm sure he'll make us all proud."

* * *

Back in his ramshackle apartment, Naruto digs through the first few pages of his physics book to start off, with his trap-making book open to a diagram page off to the side. "Huh… so that's where my diaper catapult prank went wrong. The pivot wasn't secured right and swung off to the side, and the force applied wasn't half as strong as I needed it to be…" He turns the page and scribbles a few notes in a scroll to his left. "And my paint cannon's trigger was the same… not enough tension on the tripwire. I was too focused on the ideas of one object just knocking into the next and interacting, not enough about how hard it hit…"

Outside his window, a clone sits on the wall with a smile on his face beneath a spandex mask. "Not bad, kid. Might have to put in a request with the Hokage." He returns to his book for just a moment before smirking as it reads one of the most perverse lines in the book and dispels itself to send that memory to the original. If not for his mask, Kakashi would have had a nosebleed on the paperwork he was investigating at the academy. Few would ever guess that hiding reactions to his reading is one of the greatest advantages to his mask.

* * *

A racoon chitters and growls as it scrambles about in a makeshift cage of pipes, branches, and zip ties. The trigger mechanism was constructed from a few clothespins, some scavenged ninja wire, and sheet of sandpaper hidden beneath the fallen leaves. The sandpaper then doubled as a way to ensure the racoon would stop scrambling and struggling after a few moments, when the leaves had been swept aside or ground down. Once it's clear the creature is caught, Naruto scrambles up to it with a wild grin. "Yes! That's three squirrels, two racoons, and an owl now…" He takes a fur sample as the racoon attempts to escape, then lets it scamper off. "Ok… now to go check my large target traps." He forces himself off his knee and to his feet, then bolts through the woods on the outskirts of the village. His hands are wrapped in a layer of bandages that covers all but his lightly cut and raw fingertips. Making some of these traps has been intensive, and paired with his physical training, he had to cover his hands to let them heal a bit. Fiddling with rope and ninja wire all day can be a literal pain.

In the distance, Naruto could hear the honks and groans of a ensnared deer. "Yes!" He skids atop the grass until a stop only a few yards from a deer now suspended in a net hanging from the branches. It doesn't seem to bother with struggling at all, just curled up in the bottom of the net, tangled around its antlers as it calls out. As he approaches, Naruto can't help but assess its lethargy. "Huh… Why the hell would it be this lazy caught in a net?"

"Because it knows we're coming." Naruto jumps and nearly screams, wheeling around to see Shikamaru and Shikaku Nara. The clan head sighs as he steps up to cut the poor animal down. "You should know better than to hunt deer on Nara clan property, Naruto."

"Um…" He chuckles nervously. "S-Sorry. I didn't know this was clan property. O-Oh, one thing before you release it!" He leaps up and past Shikaku, using a kunai to cut off a small patch of fur. "Need to record my catches for Hokage-jiji. This is my seventh one!" He laughs giddily as he pockets the fur. "Three more, and he'll start my next lesson!"

Shikamaru raises a brow and pulls his hands from his pockets to cross his arms. "What's the Hokage teaching you to catch animals for?"

"O-Oh, this is just to practice trap building and hiding. The goal is to get good enough at this to trap enemy ninja."

Shikaku pauses as the pieces of the living puzzle that is Naruto start to fit together. "… I see. Well, try to keep off our property when doing so. Regardless…" He looks over the net and the various small mechanisms used to trigger and pull it. "… This isn't half bad. I'd suggest securing your pulleys a bit more, but it's otherwise a solid trap." He cuts the deer down and lets it land with a thud, then assists it with removing the net from its antlers. "I'd also suggest killing, skinning, and cooking anything you catch that you'd care to. Get better at making reusable traps and sell the furs, and you could make a pretty penny before you're even out of the academy."

Naruto tilts his head as that sinks in. "Huh… Alright, I'll give that a shot. He spins his kunai and slips it back into his pouch. "Shouldn't be too hard. I mean…" He sighs. "… If I'm gonna be a ninja, I'll have to get used to killing. Hunting should be good practice." He stretches for a moment and peeks around to get his bearings. "Ok… I think the next trap I gotta check is that way…" He turns back to Shikamaru and grins. "I'll see ya in class tomorrow, Shika!" He leaps off into the trees without waiting for a reply, leaving the two laziest of Naras watching his back.

"… He's gonna be amazing with those traps one day, isn't he?" Shikamaru sighs. "Troublesome blonde numbskull…"

Shikaku nods and turns to leave. _He's more like his father than I thought. I'll have to discuss this with Kakashi and the Hokage. Maybe Hiashi…_

About a kilometer away, Naruto stumbles to a stop in a small grove where he set a small pitfall trap with a deep, smooth barrel buried and covered. With only smooth plastic surfaces, no animal can get a proper grip to climb back out. The sounds of scratching and scrambling within proves his point. "Ok, what do we have he-"

Naruto stops as his sapphire eyes are met by the faded bronze of fox eyes. Not a word is spoken, but they plead to him, and somehow, seem to recognize him. He can feel them burrowing into his soul, but to empathize rather than harm. He stammers for a moment, trying to reason that he should start taking Shikaku's advice, but…

"… Ok, fine. Come on, let's get you out of there…"

* * *

A.N.: WELL, this is off to a fine start. I hope you're all enjoying this so far, despite being relatively short compared to the first chapter of my other fic. I'm sure you frequent readers can already see where this is going, and yes, there's a cliche or two involved. Regarding the biggest one that drops into the end of the chapter... Don't complain. It's a GOOD cliche that I haven't seen in ages and happen to really love. You won't have to worry about that fox being a meaningless side character, though. As for other details that I know people will be wondering and asking about, how about a poll in the reviews?

1: What gender should Haku be in this world?

2: Should I use this pet fox as a excuse to give him a fox summoning scroll and ditch the toads?

I honestly could go either way with both of those. Regarding anyone's interest in supporting my work, no BS . Instead, I do happen to be a published author, and need my first book to start selling faster! So, if ya wanna make sure I can stay privately employed and have the time to work on this fic, others, and my original series, then go take a look at CONTROL Ubiquity of Chaos! It's available as on Amazon and Barnes & Nobles already, and should be popping up in a few other places soon, but we both know everything's going to those two. Or you can hit up Createspace, since that's where I published it through and I get higher royalties from there. Anyway, I'm off to write chapter two of my other fic for a bit while I get over the last of my exhaustion from karaoke last night. SO, fave, review, follow, whatever ya feel like, maybe help spread this around! Log knows Naruto fans are good at that. And go check out Thirdfang, and tell him I sent you! Later!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Fledgling Beasts**

"Oi, Jiji!" Naruto barges into the Hokage's office with a bundle of plastic bags in hand. The Hokage barely manages to hide his book in time to avoid getting grilled by his adoptive grandson for being a pervert.

"N-Naruto! How's your training been? I-I hope you haven't had too much trouble!"

The orange-clad brat grins as he sets out ten bags with ten different fur samples on his table. "I actually caught more than that, but I pushed myself to catch ten different species."

Sarutobi pauses for a moment, but sets his pipe down and leans in to inspect them all. "… That's not bad at all. You've completed this step far sooner than I expected. Alright, now that you've learned to enclose and contain your targets…" He reaches into his desk and pulls out a scoll, opening it to unseal a series of kunai, shuriken, and senbon. "You need to kill your targets."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Eeeh… well, I killed and skinned a few of the ones I caught, but I guess ya mean I should make the traps kill them, huh?"

The kage nods. "Of course. Of course, you should put some subtle cues for ninja in the area to avoid them, so only animals fall prey to your designs."

Naruto snorts as he recalls how one of his traps was tripped. "Guessing Bushy Brow Sensei told you about Lee getting caught in one of them?"

"Oh, I heard." He groans. "That man's ranting is almost as obnoxious as the council's bickering. There's a damn good reason I insist he submit formally written reports of his missions rather than oral reports."

Naruto nods and chuckles nervously… but then starts to cackle mischievously.

"Naruto, I swear to Kami, if you pull any pranks involving recordings of his rants and those damnable green leotards, I'll put you in a pink one and tie you upside-down from the main gate."

That shuts him up rather quickly. "S… S-Soooo, deadly traps? Shouldn't be too hard… but…" He pauses and stares down at the scroll. "… Can you teach me that?"

Sarutobi pauses and stares down at the scroll himself. "To use sealing scrolls?"

He shakes his head. "Using them is kinda obvious. Just pulse some chakra, and poof." He gives Hiruzen a smaller, more confident smile. "No, I wanna make them."

Hiruzen's eyes widen as that hits him. For a moment, he can almost see the Yondaime's spirit imposed behind the boy, with a hand on his shoulder. Soon, he too smiles and leans forwards. "Sealing is a very complex art that very few have ever mastered. Just as few as trap masters. Are you sure you want to walk both paths?"

Naruto shrugs. "Well, who's to say I'll master it? I just wanna give it a shot and at least learn to make storage seals." He scratches his chin. "There's just… so much I could do with them as parts of my traps!"

"Naruto…" Hiruzen chuckles as he pulls a basic sealing guide and a small ink kit from his desk. "That may be the best damn idea you've had since the Orioke no Jutsu.

Once Naruto leaves, Hiruzen leans back in his seat and stares at the ceiling. "… You're planning to take him as an apprentice now, aren't you?"

"… Yeah." An old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view behind him, leaning against the wall. He doesn't use it often, but his transparency jutsu comes in handy occasionally. "He's gonna make a name for himself quickly. He'll need my protection soon enough. I had hoped we'd be able to protect him through anonymity a while longer, but he's growing too fast."

Hiruzen turns his seat to face his old student. "I suppose so. But the question now is whether to tell him about your relation."

Jiraiya opens his mouth to answer, but chokes on the first sound and sighs, closing his eyes in shame. "No… I don't deserve that title. Maybe I'll tell him someday, but not now." He pushes himself up from the wall and steps towards the windows. "For now, I'll leave him to you and Kakashi. I need to leave again to look into my old teammate. Seems the snake's been digging around near Kusa. A snake in the grass, go figure…"

"Hm…" Hiruzen hunches over at his desk and weaves his fingers together to lean into. "Troublesome… See if you can find Kuma out there. He'll be hospitable and informative for certain. Be especially careful, though. That worm may be planning to set Iwa after us somehow. I'd much rather avoid having to deal with Onoki throwing a fit."

"I'm sure the fence sitter feels just the same about dealing with a certain old monkey throwing his shit." Jiraiya grins as he ducks a mug thrown at the back of his head, then turns transparent once more and leaps out the window.

* * *

That Monday morning, Naruto wanders into class with his newest book open and repeatedly tripping and stumbling in the halls. With his nose nearly buried into it, he barely even notices all the weird looks we receives from fellow students on the way into his classroom and up to his seat. He even manages to trip on two of the steps on the way up.

"Um…" Ino whispers over to Sakura. "What's up with Naruto? I've never seen him read this much. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen him read…"

"I don't know…" Sakura raises an eyebrow. "Is that a book on sealing? Why would he even be interested in that?"

Shikamaru just smirks at the back of the room and keeps his silence. They'll learn eventually. Sasuke doesn't even bother trying to consider whatever Naruto is up to for more than a few seconds. It's perplexing, but not worth his time.

Hinata of course is taking in every detail of the young blonde's expression as he passes. She's never seen him so focused or bold, and it's rather intimidating… but it still manages to make her heart skip a beat.

Iruka is just as attentive as Hinata, but obviously for very different reasons. He's known Naruto for years now, and slowly come to see him as a little brother. He knew Naruto was training to use his traps more effectively, but he never could have predicted him taking it so seriously. It's an entirely new and chilling side of Naruto that reminds him all too much of his childhood idol, Minato Namikaze. But the oddest thing is that Naruto has never expressed his brilliance or calm demeanor. But… then there was all the evidence that popped up last week.

Iruka clears his throat to gain the class's attention. "I regret to inform you all that Mizuki-sensei has been relieved from duty and will not be returning to us. There's also a few other staff members that have left with him, so things may be a little hectic around here for a while. Potential new teachers are being considered and should be arriving over the next month, along with a new curriculum we'll be experimenting with for the remainder of the year. Expect some significant changes, but don't worry too much about them. This is like a watered-down part of what it means to be a shinobi. We have to be able to adapt to whatever situation is presented to us, and-" He pauses and stares up at Naruto, who's still got his nose buried ten miles deep into his book. "Naruto, could you please put the book away?" All eyes fall upon the blonde as he continues to read. "… Naruto." Iruka's eye starts to twitch, and finally, he resorts to his infamous Big Head Jutsu. "DAMNIT NARUTO, CLOSE THE BOOK!"

Naruto nearly leaps from his seat. "S-S-Sorry Iruka-s-sensei! I was in the middle of a pretty big c-chapter…" He sighs and shakes himself out of shock before setting a bookmark at his page and setting the book away. "I'll have it put away in just a second." He pulls a scroll from his pocket and uses the ink and brush provided at his desk to start writing up a simple storage seal. Everyone present watches in fascination as he completes the seal and stores his book away in a puff of smoke. Iruka's mouth falls open as he steps up to take a closer look at it. "This seal… how did you get this good at making a storage seal so fast?"

"Wellll… My handwriting was already kinda perfect, so that helped. Remember when I spent a month practicing my signature for when I become Hokage?"

Silence falls throughout the room as the bizarre fusion of sense and absurdity in that statement sets in. It takes several moments for Iruka to manage to ask Naruto another question. "A-and, um… w-why are you so focused on this, then? You never pay this much attention in class…"

"Oh, uh…" Naruto chuckles and scratches at the back of his head. "Well, Hokage-jiji gave me that book so I could learn to mix seals into my traps. At first, I had a little difficulty understanding it, but there were some notes in there by the previous owner that really simplified things. Apparently, they wanted to write a better book on it, but I guess they never got the chance to. Seems they thought whoever wrote this one was, in their words, 'an obtuse dunderfuck'."

Iruka stammers incredulously before pulling the book from the scroll and opening it to take a look. Lo and behold, the book is full of notes in the margins and some sections that seem to just be covered in white-out and written over! Worst of all… he recognizes that handwriting. It was on many of his paychecks in his earliest days as a shinobi, over twelve years ago. He slowly closes the book and seals it away once more, handing the book back to his favorite student. "… Ok then…" He stumbles down the steps and back to his seat. "Well, class… how about, while the curriculum is being redesigned and our next steps are uncertain, we cover some more recent history?" He returns to his seat with a smile. "Today, we'll be discussing Namikaze Minato, our Yondaime Hokage."

* * *

Later that afternoon, once Naruto had gotten out of class, he wanders towards the woods on the outskirts of the village once more to seek out his latest traps and whether he'd succeeded with any kills. On the way, he receives the usual slew of glares and mutterings of 'demon' and 'fox brat'. As usual, he does his best to ignore them and focus on his own goals. That's been getting a little easier to do, with so much to focus on lately, but it's also getting easier for him to reason as to why they call him such things.

Little did Iruka know, Naruto did pay attention in that lesson today, and a few things stood out to him right away. First of all was that Minato was a seal master of the highest caliber. That got him kind of excited about his new career path, considering how much more like his idol it would make him. Second was that the Kyuubi was killed and Minato died on his birthday. Of course, there's also the use of fox as nature's tricksters, a myth he always felt he could relate to, and lived up to as well. Ever since the Kyuubi's attack, foxes have been hated here, and often hunted by drunks and vengeful veteran shinobi. Having seen the results a few times when hiding from some of those drunks himself, he just couldn't bring himself to harm the fox he caught last week. Speaking of which…

Naruto slows to a stop and sighs soon after passing through the tree line and out of sigh. Peeking back, he finds that very same fox tailing him and now tilting her head as she stares him down. "… You're playing a dangerous game by getting so close to town around me, Yoko." He turns and kneels, reaching out as the fox kit scrambles up to him, shaking and wagging like an overexcited puppy as she nuzzles up to his hand. "Settle down, girl… come on, gotta go check my work." He stands and waves for her to follow, which she gladly does, nipping at his heels as they go. "A-Ah! Come on, don't do that!" He chuckles softly. It doesn't really hurt, it's just a bit startling at first. She's too cute to yell at, anyway.

Eventually, Naruto stops by one of his kunai traps and sighs as he sees his target got away. The tripwire was triggered, but his firing mechanism wasn't quite strong or accurate enough. The kunai are scattered about in far too wide a range. Two of them seem to be missing though, and a trail of blood leads further north. He sighs and pushes himself back to his feet after inspecting the scene, waving for Yoko to follow as he tracks whatever he hit. According to the fur left behind, his best guess was a racoon.

Thirty yards north, as predicted, he finds the little trash panda lying dead against a tree. Unpredictably though, he finds Lee kneeling over it with Gai consoling him. "Um…" he chuckles nervously as the spandex-clad duo raises their eyes to meet him. "Sorry, Lee. I kinda moved up to testing lethal traps." He crosses his arms and inspects the body from afar. "… Really gotta work on the accuracy and firing speed, though. I wanted a quick, clean kill."

Gai looks between Naruto and the racoon for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Tragic as its death is, Lee, it's a necessary stage in Naruto's training, and I'm sure he'll make good use of this one. His death will not be in vain." He sighs and rubs his student's back before returning his gaze to Naruto. "As for a quicker kill, that's a good assessment. This body is still warm, but the blood trail is mostly dried. If this were an enemy shinobi, they would have had plenty of time to escape and recuperate. If they had a decently trained medic on hand, it would have been little more than an inconvenience. And that's if it even hit them."

Naruto nods and kneels down to collect the corpse, sealing it into one of the compartments of a scroll in his left pocket. "So, how's your training going, Lee?"

Le lets off a few final sobs and blows his nose for a moment as he calms down. "… It's… s-slow, but working. I'm now able to run faster than Tenten can throw her kunai. Neji on the other hand seems to have much better reflexes still…" He growls and clenches his fists. "I need to catch up to him. I need to learn faster…"

"Well…" Naruto takes a seat and crosses his arms. "What are you doing between all your exercises and drills?"

"… Huh?" Lee tilts his head. "That's just to eat and sleep… and bathroom breaks."

Naruto blanches at that. ".. ok, for one, that kind of training schedule is inhuman. Second…" He sighs and shakes himself out of his daze. "If that's the case, then Neji already knows everything you're training to do."

Lee pauses as that sets in, but groans and covers his face. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?!"

Naruto shrugs. "I have no clue. Ask the Anbu that can't find me half the time. Iruka-sensei's better at finding me. Seems ninja have been forgetting what stealth means." He ignores the twitch in Gai's eye as his gaze falls towards the orange jumpsuit. "Anyway, if ya wanna get a leg up on Neji, you gotta train in something else, something really personal that he'll have a lot of trouble dealing with."

"That may be difficult…" Gai stands and paces, scratching the back of his head. "Lee's physically incapable of actively using chakra, so anything that isn't taijutsu is out of the question."

"Huh…" Naruto reaches into his pockets and withdraws a scroll, then pulls a book on seals from that. "What about passive chakra absorbing seals? They're used to detain criminals, but also used as components of gravity seals for training pretty often. I think I might be able to modify them onto just about any seal, really. So if you can't control your chakra, but have a good amount of it, then you should be able to pull off seal based tricks as long as we use absorbing seals with them."

Gai nods and pinches at his chiseled chin as options roll through his head. "That… just might work. But, I'll really need to brush up on seals. I've only used a handful of really simple ones over the years, and I struggled to get them down."

"But…" Lee stands and arches his back, the flames of youth pouring from his eyes. "I WILL NOT FAIL! I'll learn to make these seals myself if I have to!"

"YES LEE! Your flames of youth will never be extinguished!"

Naruto chuckles nervously and nods. "G-Good drive, but try to keep it quiet. You don't wanna tip everyone off your new moves. Best to have a few aces up your sleeve. Might wanna pick up a weapon with a good reach, too." As he speaks, the impatient fox that had been hiding behind a tree nearby leaps out and into his lap. "A-Ah, Yoko, s-settle down!"

Gai leans down to get a look at the fox. "You know this one? She seems wild to me."

"Um… yeah, kinda." He sighs and gently pets the fox in his lap to calm her down. "She was one of my first captures. I just couldn't bring myself to kill her. Ever since I showed her mercy that day, she's been sneaking around the outskirts of the woods, waiting for me to return every day."

"Hmmm…" Gai's eyes narrow as he stares down the fox. "Very smart for a wild one, but far too friendly to be malicious. I would suggest keeping her as a pet, but in Kanoha…" He sighs deeply. "More likely to make both of you the town's biggest targets if anyone catches you."

Naruto nods sadly as he scratches under her chin. "Yeah… that, and she gets a bit noisy, and my apartment doesn't allow pets."

"… I think I know a solution, if you're willing to take a risk." Naruto peeks up to Gai and raises a brow. "You're pretty good at henge no jutsu, right? Well, if you can keep her still and get her to comply, you might be able to wrap the both of you up into one henge that looks just like you, and carry her into town. But not just anywhere. "Gai flashes his signature pearly grin. "To the Inuzaka clan! Ask to speak with Tsume, your classmate Kiba's mother. She's the clan head over there, and she may be willing to help you train her. If she can fight for herself, or better yet, outsmart and outrun most of those angry blowhards that'd want to hunt her, you should have no problems at all! That, and once you've graduated, she'll be registered as a living ninja tool and be legally safe."

Naruto's eyes widen as the potential of it all sets in. Soon after, he grins wildly down to Yoko, who raises her head to look him in the eyes. "Whadda ya think, girl? Do ya trust me to get you into town safely?"

She cannot reply, but the look in her eyes says it all. They almost glow. If not for his vantage point, Gai would have witnessed Naruto's eyes turning red for a moment.

"Alright then…" He stands and hefts her up into his arms, but rather than just carrying her, he tucks her into the front of his jacket and zips her in. "You just rest up there, and we'll be to the Inuzaka compound soon." With a quick handsign and a puff of smoke, the fox head sticking out of his collar and added mass in the front of his jacket are nowhere to be seen. He peeks back up to the grinning man towering over him. "Thanks for the tips! I'll Let ya know how it goes, and I'll tell Tsume ya said hi!" He turns and bolts through the woods, headed back into town and towards the unmistakable Inuzaka compound. The barking makes it far too easy to track down, and he's snuck in to pull some of his best pranks often enough to have it memorized from all angles. For now, Yoko seems content to ride in his jacket, and not a peep is heard.

Hiruzen smiles down upon his adoptive grandson through his crystal ball, then peeks over to the files on his desk. Ten staff members at the academy, detained. Mizuki's mugshot sits atop the pile. "These are the moments I really love being Hokage." He turns his chair away and takes a puff from his pipe. "Do me proud, boy. Me, your father, and the entire village…"

* * *

A.N.: Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long! This is still kind of a build-up, but I felt this was a good place to leave off, and gives you guys a lot to look forward to! But, sadly, things are NOT going quite so well for me. I'm starting a new semester at college very soon, and my book still isn't selling at all, not to mention my other fic isn't getting any views. SO, I have but 3 favors to ask!

1: Help me get my fics listed on recommendation pages! Any forums you know of, TVTropes, etc! Help me get the word out there, and not just for this one fic!

2: Check out my Digimon fic! I know Digimon doesn't have the best following, and next to no fanfic presence, but if you were ever a fan of it and wanna see the series in a more mature context and with a lot of added flare, world building, and a whole new cast of characters, check it out and pass it around!

3: Please, look into my book, **CONTROL: Ubiquity of Chaos**! It's on sale now, but not really selling much at all. In the last 2 months it's been on sale, I've only sold 12 copies, because it's published through Createspace and they don't advertise for me. So please, if ya like my work here, and wanna support me so I can keep writing these, take a loo at my original work! If you follow #2 and read my digimon fic, you'll have a good idea of how I handle combat and plot progression in my book.

That said, I can't wait to hear your reviews, and the polls from last chapter are still going! Leaning towards the summoning contract for foxes, and for anyone afraid fem!Haku means ruining NaruHina, don't worry about that. I'm still going for NaruHina!

So for now, I'm off to marathon Sonic games as I await Mania!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **The Alpha**

The residential district surrounding the Inuzaka compound is usually one of the most loved by new arrivals to the village and the occasional tourist. It may not be close to a very prestigious and rich clan like the Uchiha once were or the Hyuga still are, but it has one thing they both lack:

An abundance of friendly animals to keep things lively and comfortable.

Every home in that area, apartments included, allows pets. A lot of them are free-roaming, as the Inuzaka hounds keep them all in line and almost seem to pass on their value in loyalty to any others around them. Leashes are very uncommon here, and the only thing less common is cats. Occasionally, Tora will invade the area on a bleak day and raise hell until a Jonin can manage to fight his way through the horde of canines and collect the royal cat that many swear is a descendant of the Nibi.

But, there are of course other animals that are often frowned upon in that area. Parrots aren't too popular, partly due to rarity, partly due to now obnoxious they can get once they start imitating the speech patterns of the louder Inuzaka clan members. Most of all though, is foxes. It's no surprise that after the fateful day of the Kyuubi's attack, the village has come to collectively hate the species.

So of course, Naruto was very careful to not drawn any attention as he made his way to the Inuzaka compound. He knew there'd be no way to hide Yoko from their keen sense of smell once he gets there, but he figured he could at least reason with Kiba and his mother to keep things from getting out of hand. For now, he's lucky enough for Yoko to nearly fall asleep in the front of his jacket on the way there. It takes all the discipline he has not to pet her and blow his cover.

The front gates of the compound are wide open, inviting anyone to enter. The Inuzaka are one of the most hospitable clans in the village as well, always willing to welcome guests and treat them like family as long as they show the same respect for nature and loyalty they live by. Having done a little gardening in his window to spruce up his apartment, he's guessing his respect for nature is up to snuff. As for loyalty, just about everyone in the village knows of his declarations of being the next Hokage.

The moment he passes through the gates, Akamaru's already jumping at his shins and yapping away. Naruto stumbles for a moment, struggling to calm the overexcited pup without kneeling down and putting Yoko in danger. "H-hey, c-come on! It's just me! You saw me in class an hour ago!"

"Yeah, but he smells something new about you." Kiba walks around the corner with his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. "You smell more like a fox than usual."

Naruto raises a brow at that. _More than usual? What's that supposed to mean? Better look into that later._ "Um… well, the reason for that is the same reason I'm here. A-Any chance I could talk to your mom? I have a few questions to ask her."

Kiba raises a brow and tilts his head, cueing Akamaru to mimic his partner. "What business do ya have with her?"

Naruto sighs softly, unsure how to word this. ".. Clan business, I suppose. Answers only she can provide. Please, Kiba… this is really important to me. Come on, I haven't asked you for anything since that exploding desk incident."

"… Fine. Come on, she's-"

"Right here." Both boys nearly jump out of their skin as Tsume speaks from overhead. What they look up to find is the Inuzaka clan head standing upside-down on the branch of a tree that's grown over the compound's wall. She smirks and falls, landing on her left hand and vaulting to her feet. "So, what do ya need, kid? My clan doesn't exactly do many favors, so this is kind of an odd move, even for you…"

Naruto gulps as he struggles to calm his nerves, and eventually, he sighs and lowers his head, canceling his henge as he pulls Yoko from his jacket. Both Inuzakas stare blankly for varying reasons, but seem mildly alarmed and confused. "I was hoping you could help me to train Yoko here and get her registered as something sorta like one of your hounds."

Tsume kneels down for a closer look at the fox kit as she yawns and looks the clan head right in the eyes. Her gaze is unwavering, not the slightest ounce of fear or malice of any kind to be found. They stare each other down until Tsume smiles and stands. "So, who suggested a come to me for this?"

"U-Um…" Naruto cradles the orange canid. "Maito Gai sent me. Yoko and I ran into him and Lee while I was checking on my latest traps."

"Hmm…" She rubs the back of her neck. "Well, I'll have to thank Gai later." She crosses her arms and shifts into a more confident stance that many would find right at home if done by a certain snake mistress. "We've been looking for ways to expand our clan's skill sets, and expanding into other, more specialized canids would be the perfect way to do it." She reaches down and gently pets the young fox to reassure her. "We won't be taking her from you, she's all yours, but training her would make for great practice to be ready to train foxes ourselves."

Naruto's bewildered stare slowly grows into a face-consuming grin. "Well, when do we start?! The sooner we can get this rolling, the better!"

"Hmm…" Tsume scratches her head for a moment and peeks back to her towering hound, looking into his one good eye. "What do you think? Ready to start now?"

Kuromaru nods and steps closer. "I'm honestly almost excited for it. I wonder if she'll be as good of a student as Akamaru's been."

Naruto almost gapes at the sight of a talking dog, but manages to silence himself with a nervous gulp. "W-Well, um… I-I guess she's i-in your care, for now…" He gently sets Yoko onto her paws, and she turns to face him with a tilted head. "Sorry, girl… you'll have to stay here for a while." He crouches and pets her for a moment. "But I'll be back to see you every day until I can take you home, ok?"

"You're not going anywhere yet." Naruto peeks up to Tsume. "Your training starts now. First off is obedience training, and unless she's a prodigy, you're gonna be here for a while."

* * *

Kiba lies awake late into the night, staring at his ceiling as the last few days' events plague his mind. He couldn't help it. To an Inuzaka, especially the males, the pack hierarchy is undeniable, and to change positions within it is a life-changing event.

His position as being just above dead last has been threatened.

He's never been the best student. A slacker, rebellious, constantly fidgeting and complaining through class until the few parts he's ever cared about, then physical training and testing, finally rolls around. In those, he excels, but even then, he's outdone. Sasuke, Shino, and Hinata all have better aim. Chouji and Naruto are physically stronger. Sasuke and Shikamaru on the rare occasion that he applies his talents are more critical and calculative. Now even Naruto's starting to improve in those, moving up from dead last and surely to at least the middle of the class.

And where does that leave Kiba? Dead last. The omega of the pack. Lowest of the low and nearly worthless in his own eyes.

It took a while for him to realize what lead Naruto to catch up so quickly. At first, it made no sense to him. He'd never shown such potential before, and now he's one of the most driven in the class, if not a bit off-kilter considering he's always too focused on his own studies to pay much attention to class content.

What sealed it for him was the last two days. First was just how much he applied himself to training Yoko. Even Kiba had to admit, she was one of the quickest students he'd ever seen in the compound. She was still shaky on communicating with the hounds, but improving fast. She could take orders like a seasoned ninken, but had the wit to judge when an order was too dangerous or misdirecting. What she lacks is the strength and size of a ninken, but that can be accounted for in however Naruto designs her personal techniques, and he seemed to already be considering it. Whenever he was on the Inuzaka compound, every moment was about Yoko. All of his training was dedicated entirely to her, for the sake of her future and safety. He found strength in having someone to fight with and for.

But in every moment of downtime, Naruto was seated nearby, absent-mindedly feeding and petting her while his eyes and right hand were focused on blueprints for new traps or practicing his sealing calligraphy. Even when he had to take a break from training Yoko, he was still entirely dedicated to one of his passions and talents. Not a moment was ever wasted.

Kiba may not be the smartest, but it didn't take him long to realize that difference between himself and Naruto. He must apply himself more and stop wasting so much time on meaningless pursuits. He must find things that truly matter to him and focus every waking moment on them. Only then would he be able to catch up and not only take his place in the hierarchy back, but move beyond it and become the next Alpha of the clan.

But this particular night, that question takes a back seat as he listens in on a conversation between Akamaru, Kuromaru, and Yoko. The kit has learned enough now to discuss things that instantly made him question his village, his friend, and even his beliefs.

Just who and what is Naruto? Kyuubi incarnate, or living prison?

* * *

"Danzo-sama. We have news regarding the jinchuuriki." Danzo raises his head from his desk and stares down the Root agent kneeling before him. He waves to gesture the young man to continue. Even fully clothed in Anbu black spandex, gray vest, and painted mask, his high-pitched voice and stature betray his identity as one of Root's youngest agents. "His training has taken a turn. He's begun to train as a trap master, and is progressing at an alarming rate. Compounded with his newfound studies into fuinjutsu, he'll become an invaluable asset to the village. There were contingencies in place for this potential route, but we were unprepared for the second development. He has taken in a young fox as his equivalent of a ninken, and is training them as a joint effort with the Inuzaka clan. Furthermore, we've recorded no less than five occasions thus far, in which he has gone into a trance-like state when making eye contact with the fox he now calls 'Yoko'."

The bandaged old warmonger closes his eyes and loses himself in calculations and predictions. Naruto's penchant for pranking always seemed like a suitable career starter as a trap master, something he hadn't seen in this village since his youth, and that one happened to die during the second war, taking a surrounding troop from Kumo out with him. Having a new one at their disposal would be invaluable. As for the fox…

That may require twisting Jiraiya's arm. He may be tapping into the kyuubi's power unconsciously, or this new fox is drawing it out of him somehow. The biju have been known to congregate with their own kind when loose, and previous jinchuuriki have had affinities for species connected to their beasts. Han apparently has a bit of a thing for horses, and reports from Kumo suggest Ni Yugito is a bit catty. For now, the fox is a wild card, but not one to be avoided. There's few times that a joker is a good card to hold on to, but Naruto has proven to turn odds in his favor frequently.

But, those odds must not be allowed to sit. His new preoccupations with the fox and his seals need to be urged in the right direction. Sarutobi may disagree, but the time for the truth is close at hand, before he discovers his own seal or learns too much from this "Yoko".

* * *

Late into that Friday evening, after yet another long day of classes, training Yoko, and checking his traps in the dark, Naruto finally returns to his apartment and collapses face-first into his bed. He groans into the tangled blanket and mumbles incoherently to himself.

"Not taking all this training so well, hm?" Naruto bolts upright and stares up to his window, finding a familiar anbu mask staring back at him. The simplified dog mask shifts aside to unveil yet another mask and a single eye beneath a tall mess of silver hair. "Konbanwa, Naruto. Been a while, hasn't it?"

Naruto stares for a moment, but sighs and sits up. "Hai, Inu-san. Haven't seen you or Tora for a while now."

The now ex anbu waves that accusation off and sets his Inu mask aside. We've been around. You haven't needed us to babysit you, so we've kept our distance and just ensured your safety. You've been progressing quite well lately on your own, though. Your traps are quite impressive."

Naruto groans and flops back into his bed, then rolls over. "Yeah, but… with classes going on and needing to train Yoko, not to mention how much of a slave driver Tsume is about that, I can't manage to keep working on my traps lately, or my sealing. I've got too much to work on at once. I need more hours in a day."

Kakashi grins at that phrasing. "Well, you're in luck. It's probably not the smartest thing to do, but, well… you don't exactly have a clan to teach you any jutsu, and most of your classmates know some sort of B rank jutsu by now through them. So, how about I fill in that role for you?" Naruto peeks up from his sheets with bewilderment in his eyes. "How familiar are you with Bunshin no Jutsu?"

Naruto groans louder yet, holding his pillow to his face for a moment. "Damnit, I can't do that jutsu! It's the only one form the academy that I haven't mastered enough to ditch Anbu with!"

Kakashi sweatdrops as he recalls the times his coworkers were stumped by the boy's evasive skills after particularly nasty pranks. "Y-Yes, well… what about Kage Bunshin? It takes a lot more chakra, but considering how much you have, it should be easier for you to manage, and these clones are real."

Silence falls for a moment until Naruto bolts upright. "Real clones? Like, physical, flesh and blood clones that can act for me?"

Kakashi nods and makes a quick handsign, producing a single clone beside him. Said clone then chucks his extra mask at Naruto, who barely manages to dodge it and leap off his bed to the left. "They can only take one hit, though." Kakashi backhands his own clone in the face to dismiss it in a cloud of smoke. "And when they die, you collect their memories."

By the end of his explanation, Naruto was nearly drooling at the potential of this technique. He could practically see the gears turning in his head, almost literally. All his training as a trap master, learning to find multiple uses for everything, and his sealing experience teaching him to weave every stroke together, has made his mind a multifaceted mechanical marvel. When he sees potential, he abuses it. And few techniques have the potential and versatility of the Kage Bunshin. The Nidaime made sure of that. "… When do we start?"

"Now, if you don't mind working late. You don't have to meet with Tsume until two anyway."

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Of course you know that…"

"Well, I get along great with the Inuzaka." He reaches into his vest and pulls out a chain with a preserved hound tooth. "I'm an honorary member. Just wait till you meet my summons."

* * *

Training ground three was a popular location. The proximity of the KIA Monument provided both a numbing realism to training there as well as passionate inspiration and motivation. Kakashi spent all too much time here, wallowing in suffering and depression that constantly bogs down his life. Naruto's presence here, on the other hand, helped him to finally feel a bit of that fire he had lost for so long.

The fuel for that fire was fueled by the young man with him swearing up a storm between failed attempts at this jutsu. At this point, there was a constant thin veil of smoke around him after the number of failed clones he'd created and dispersed. "KAMI DAMNIT, Why the hell is this jutsu so fucking hard?! He punches the grass and forces himself back to his feet, stumbling as he gathers more chakra, struggling to tame it all into the proper form. "Is it… still too much chakra?... Yeah… I keep killing normal bunshin by overloading them…. And I'm doing it again!" He clenches his fists and grits his teeth, forcing the chakra to surround him. "My control's never been good enough, and it's only getting worse! Why?" He makes the handsign. "Why?!" His chakra flares up around him, forming a visible shroud of faded blue. "WHY?!"

With one last guttural cry, he focuses on not one point to mold his chakra, but dozens. As many as he can envision around him. A smoky explosion rocks the training ground, and Kakashi raises his head from his favorite literature in shock. He'd never seen that much smoke produced by one jutsu outside of one peculiar jutsu designed entirely to make smokescreens and the occasional boss sized summon, which he'd only witnessed once or twice in his whole career. What he found upon the smoke clearing was a troop of nearly a hundred Narutos, all looking to themselves and each other in awe. Some inspect themselves for their full range of sensations and physical details, Others leap about and cheer, but with the field so packed, some leap into one another and knock their heads together. As exhausted as Naruto was before making these clones, that little of an impact was enough to dispel them.

Amidst them all, Naruto stands with a proud smile on his face and sweat on his brow, huffing and slouching as he takes in the fruit of his labor.

But then, the final kick in the pants for the night. The clones are all struck with sparks of inexplicable pain at once, eyes turning red for split seconds before they pop. All of them popping at once floods Naruto's exhausted and addled mind with their memories and flashes of random and inexplicable imagery in the back of his head in time with the pain. Assaulted with all of these memories at once, he blacks out, and collapses into a twitching heap in the grass, just before Kakashi can reach him.

* * *

Deep within Naruto's sullen, cavernous mind, A set of titanic fangs and blackened lips form an almost sickening grin. "Finally. It took far too long to find a way to drag you in here. Come to me, Naruto. We have much to discuss."

* * *

A.N.: So, how was everyone's summer? Mine just ended, and I finished writing this chapter in the middle of class. Isn't college great? Someone please mail me an ethernet cable for my dorm room, the wifi off main campus is terrible. Goddamnit, USH.

Anyway, wadda yas think of Naruto's progress thus far and Kiba's spark towards improvement? Don't worry, I have plans for just about everyone, but feel free to throw ideas at me, I'm very receptive. As for the polls earlier, leaning towards the fox contract as well as a new contract for Sakura and Sasuke's alternate contract as his main.

In other news, my book still isn't really selling. I just dropped the price a bit, so go check it out if you can and want to support me! It's CONTROL: Ubiquity of Chaos, available on Amazon and Createspace. Try Createspace, I get more revenue from there, and the more support they get, the sooner they can upgrade and give authors the option of hardback printing. The quality of that book is far greater than this story as well, as being a professional work, it went through seven different drafts and thorough reviews and edits before release rather than one draft written in free time and uploaded to a site that's slowly devolving into being treated as badly as deviantart.

SO, follow, rate, review, check out my book, and go complain more about Boruto before it starts getting old and maybe they'll decide to pull the plug on it before they humiliate themselves any further!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **All Ado About Chakra**

The main chamber of Naruto's mental sewer was far from difficult to find. All it took was following a nagging sensation in the back of his mind and recognizing that the pipes were merging and growing larger down certain paths. Wherever he was headed was the source of something. He didn't know what, bit it was something big. Something seeking an audience with him.

Along the way, he came to find the many mechanisms he'd designed for his traps built into the walls, triggers to open gates to deeper compartments of his mind. A tripwire opens a gate of bamboo bars. A pressure plate triggers the fall of a solid iron wall. The final gate into the main chamber is triggered by pulling a lever that lets the contents of the smaller pipes, which he quickly identifies as his chakra, to flow through a pattern in the gate that he knows only as the spiral on the back of most Konoha issued shinobi jackets. The moment his chakra reaches the center of the spiral from all angles, the door splits and retracts into the wall, unveiling the chamber beyond.

The darkness is the first thing to catch his eye. This entire maze of pipes has been very dimly lit, growing darker as he goes. The room beyond appears endless, all light fading away towards the seemingly non-existent ceiling and leaving an infinite abyss to hang over his head.

On what he can see of the walls, the pipes continue to grow and extend to the far end of the room until they sink into the walls on the opposite end of the room, just before a titanic. rusted prison gate A single paper tag seal adheres to the middle of the gate, such a flimsy thing to hold it all together, but somehow, it apparently works.

It's only as he steps closer and discovers a set of canid fangs scowling at him through the bars. A pair of crimson eyes opens above them, somehow lighting the inner chamber and unveiling the demon within.

Naruto reels back for a moment, but glares through the bars as facts set in. The gears within his mind begin to whir and connect, quite literally as he can hear the mechanisms of this internal space produce a constant clanging and knocking. The chamber is further illuminated from his side, as countless torches lining the walls are set ablaze, the flickering of freshly lit flames rising into the eternity hanging above. Images flicker across the walls between the flames as memories and facts are recalled and merged. His birthday, the day of the Kyuubi's attack. All the hatred he's known all his life. Mutterings of 'demon' in the background. Most importantly though, was the mention of Jinchuuriki in his book on sealing. It jumped out at him right away, as a prime example of the raw power and potential of sealing, as a method for the author to convince the reader to stick to their lessons.

"… So you've been in me this whole time, huh?"

A rough, guttural laugh echoes through to chamber. "Good, you aren't denying the grand truth in front of you! Humans are usually so arrogant to deny such facts."

Naruto glares through the bars and sighs, closing his eyes as he allows his mind to calm what little it can. "… Do you know why nobody ever told me?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi raises a brow and lays his head down across his folded paws. "You know what a Jinchuuriki is. You know how valuable you and I are to this village. You were an infant when I was sealed in you, a helpless little brat. If knowledge of what you were had gotten out, especially out of this village, you would have been a target within a few days, and we'd both be dead. Well, by now I would have regenerated somewhere, so I wouldn't have minded that…"

Naruto scratches the back of his head and begins to pace. "Makes sense… I'll need to talk to Jiji for more details, I guess." He turns back towards the fox and looks them in the eyes. "So why is it that I'm only meeting you now?"

"Oh, that? Hah..." He chuckles and leans in closer. "I needed you to be pushed to chakra exhaustion so you would draw upon my chakra and allow us to meet. Although, I was messing with your chakra control just a bit to push the issue…" He taps at the bars with his claws. "now that you know I'm here, it shouldn't be too difficult to make your way back, if you learn to meditate, and detect my chakra. Ask the old monkey about that. He may be an obnoxious human, but he's one of the few who've earned my respect without getting to the top of my 'to eat' list."

Naruto snorts at that and nods. "I'll be sure to tell him that. For now, though…" He pauses and stares down at the floor, willing one of the stone tiles to raise and give him a seat above the water. Once seater, he crosses his arms and starts to inspect the fox from afar. "Why are you so willing to help me when my death would free you?"

"Well…" The fox grumbles and closes his eyes, debating on how to answer. "… You intrigue me. You aren't blaming me for the hate you've received. You aren't a clueless fool who jumps to conclusions. You actually have some promise as a warrior, and one day, may be strong enough to keep up with my brethren and I. So, for now, I have no desire to see you die. For now, I'd much rather watch from within you and see just how far you can go." He slowly turns away from the bars to nap. "Just be careful who you tell, of course. That cycloptic fool who's training you knows already. You're allowed to tell whoever you want, really. I'm your burden to bear. Just don't be stupid and tell someone who would kill you on the spot."

That said, Naruto could only nod as the world around him slipped away. It felt so similar to losing consciousness, like being within his mindscape was just another form of it, and he was slipping back into the waking world.

What he finds on the other side is that only a few seconds have passed, and Kakashi was in the middle of kneeling to pick Naruto up and carry him home. He bolts upright and stares into empty space for a few moments before lifting his shirt and glaring at the fading seal upon his stomach. "… Did you just kick me out of my own head? Oh, it's on furball. Next time I get in there, I'm interrogating you until your fur turns gray."

Kakashi's only visible eye widens almost comically. "Naruto… how do you know about the fox?"

"I talked to him…" Naruto stumbles to his feet, swaying for a few moments as chakra exhaustion continues to throw him for a loop. "Ugh… Why the hell did he have to be so rough with knocking me out? I would have preferred worse chakra exhaustion from another two hours of this over the headache of so many clones popping at once…"

Kakashi's eye narrows as he begins to analyze what he saw only seconds ago to him. "I see… So your clones were in pain because of his chakra. It would make sense. Biju chakra is, according to some reports, paradoxically both toxic and healing. For a clone that cannot heal in a body unfamiliar with actively using that chakra, the toxicity would be the only effect, and they'd burst right away."

"That's how it works? Huh…" Naruto takes out a notebook from his jacket pocket and writes a few things down. "Would explain how fast I heal… I'll have to ask Jiji about how to build up an immunity, then." He sets his notes away and leans against a try until his head stops spinning. "Ok… I should get back to my apartment and sleep finally. I shouldn't have trouble with making clones when the furry jackass isn't messing with my control, so I'm done training anyway…"

Kakashi nods and ruffles Naruto's hair as he passes. "Should I report to the Hokage and tell him what you know, or would you like to approach him yourself?"

"I'll do it myself…" Naruto starts to stumble away, but Kakashi just barely manages to catch he soft smile on his face as he passes. Though his head hangs in exhaustion, Kakashi knows all too well that that is the face of a man all too proud of a hard day's work. Without a word, Kakashi disappears in a gust of swirling leaves. Though out of sight, he watches Naruto all the way to his apartment and only leaves ones the blonde's snoring can be heard through his windows.

* * *

"Good morning, everyone." Iruka jots down a few notes on the condition of his students this morning as he takes attendance. Some students are acting much the same as usual. Sasuke is lost in his usual brooding thoughts, Shikamaru is asleep at his desk and dead to the world, Chouji is in the middle of his second bag of chips for the day, and Shino is as impassive and statuesque as usual. There are some that catch his eye, though.

For one, Kiba seems to have his nose in a book on hunting tactics. More interestingly, he recognizes is to be one written by a former Anbu captain who taught Kakashi how to manage his ninken summons.

Then there's Ino and Sakura. Their usual arguments and gossip have halted in favor of watching the two biggest class clowns and lowest ranked members of the class as they both apply themselves so fervently that they seem to be entranced by their studies.

Likewise, Sasuke's attentions have fallen upon them as well, rather than blocking everything out as he usually does in order to ignore the girls bickering over him. Kiba, he still doesn't care much about, but Naruto's developments interest him. Iruka can only hope that helps the young Uchiha to stop thinking so much of his troubling past. He could use a rival.

Hinata was usually enrapt by the young blonde, but his recent actions gave her an excuse to gawk openly, and she appeared to be reveling in it. Her admiration for the boy was never in short supply, but now, the pride in her eyes was almost intoxicating.

Naruto had his nose buried into the final pages of his first book on sealing, frequently peeking back to the paper on his right to compare his newest seal to the text. As he places the last stroke, in his endless confidence, he slams his hand onto it and pumps the seal full of chakra. The wood beneath the tag creaks and sinks for just a moment-

The tag proceeds to explode in his face, giving him a burnt right hand and a lungful of smoke. He coughs and hacks for a few moments until he slides the charred remains of the paper aside and slouches. "Damnit… At least it made the desk creak a bit."

Iruka steps up for a closer look. "Gravity seals? Pretty universally useful… a good choice for a second seal to master."

Naruto nods and sighs, pushing his book and practice scroll aside. With a quick handisgn, he produces a single clone to sit beside him and work on that while he focuses on the class.

Sakura just gapes a him. "Wait, I thought you couldn't make clo-" She freezes as the clone picks up the brush and begins another attempt at the gravity seal. "…. Is… is that clone real?"

"Hm?" Naruto peels his eyes from his notebook and stares at Sakura for a moment before he manages to recognize her question. "O-Oh, right! Yeah, I was taught the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu recently. Turns out I could never learn to make normal clones, because I have too much chakra to control it that well and use any genjutsu."

"Hn…" Sasuke narrows a glare his way. "And who the hell did you learn it from?"

"Alright, quiet everyone." Iruka waves a stack of papers at the class. "Naruto has no obligations to tell anyone where he learned that jutsu, anyway. For now, we'll be focusing on the newest part of our curriculum. I need each of you to come up as I call your names and take one of these sheets, then channel your chakra through it. How the paper reacts will tell us what elemental natures each of you have. Better yet, this batch was treated in a way that now allows it to clearly display secondary elements as well, so we won't just be getting your main elements out of this. Most people have proficiencies in one with a slight alignment for another, and we'll be able to see the secondary elements and how strong those proficiencies are based on how the paper reacts." As studious as he is, he doesn't need a list to call names from. "Aburame Shino."

The white-cloaked young man steps to the front of the class in silence. A quick tap of the sheet offered to him resulted in it crumpling and folding into jagged edges, then going rigid and shattering, the falling pieces crumbling further. "Interesting. My clan rarely resorts to using elements, so we never developed any genetic proficiency in any. I couldn't be certain of what to suspect, but this is a fairly unique response. The combination of lightning and earth will provide many challenging possibilities."

"Certainly so." Iruka nods and pinches at his chin for a moment while losing himself in thought. "It shouldn't be difficult to find anyone to teach you these two. Earth is the most common element, and although lightning is less common, we have the third most of them compared to Kumogakure and Kirigakure." Shino nods and turns to return to his seat, while Iruka calls up the next student. "Akamichi Chouji."

The young man grumbles as he sets his bag of chips down and stumbles to the front of the class. "You know us clan kids are just gonna have pretty obvious elements. It's hereditary. Most people in my clan are earth users." He takes the paper and watches it crumble to dust, but the ash-like pale dust lights up and burns away. He raises an eyebrow and grins. "But that's interesting."

"Well, that's not too surprising." Iruka chuckles softly. "That's the second most common element in this village to begin with. Earth is only more common because it's the most common element in the world in general. Just try not to learn any fire jutsu in closed spaces or without supervision." He waves the Akamichi back to his seat and checks his list again. "Haruno Sakura."

The pinkette perks up and pushes herself from her seat to race down the stairs, but Ino calls out to her. "Hey, maybe you'll get wind and fire! That'd explain all the hot air filling up that balloon of a forehead!"

She stumbles and trips for a moment on the stairs, barely managing to catch herself and glare back at her former best friend. "Can it, pig! You're probably gonna end up with earth and water for all the mud you're wallowing in!" She grunts and stomps the rest of the way down, grabbing a sheet from Iruka and nearly crushing it in her grasp. It then proceeds to powderize and soak into a mushy pulp that splatters onto the floor. She stares down at the mush at her feet as silence falls throughout the room.

Until Kiba has to cut in. "So… does that make Sakura the mud Ino's been rolling in?" His perverse grin is accompanied by a cacophony of laughter throughout the room, even Hinata and Shikamaru becoming intoxicated by it and failing to stifle their own quiet giggling and chuckling.

Sakura's face burns beet red, turning to face them all with a glare. "Oh, hell no! I don't swing that way!" She freezes and stares as Ino remains eerily quiet and reserved, a faint blush across her face as she avoids eye contact. Sakura stammers for a moment, but sighs and groans, returning to her seat in silence and slamming her forehead into the desk.

Iruka sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well, that combination's probably one of the best for you. You already have great control, and these two are best for mastering fine chakra control for genjutsu and medical jutsu." He huffs and waits a moment for the class to calm down for a moment before returning to the testing order. "Hyuga Hinata." Hinata scrambles out of her seat, still having a slight anxiety spike over having lost her composure and laughed at Sakura's expense. Her timid tip-toeing down the stairs only manages to prolong her anxiety as all eyes fall upon her. By the time she reaches Iruka, she can feel their combined gaze drilling into her back. She barely manages to reach out and take the paper, only to yelp as it's cut clean in two, then dampens and lands beside Sakura's mush pile with a gentle splat. "Oh?" She turns her gaze up to Iruka, who grins and crosses his arms. "Congratulations, Hinata. You have the rarest element in the world! Even Suna can't manage to produce many natural wind users, and it may be potentially one of the best elements for your clan. Paired with water, you'll be able to refine your flow and accuracy of your techniques even further."

Hinata stumbles back as she struggles to process the good fortune that's fallen into her lap. "I-I have… that much potential?"

"That's great, Hinata!" Her attention is drawn to the loudmouth blonde in the stands, whose clone has even stopped training his fuuinjutsu to write up a banner saying 'Congratulations!' across a good length of one of his practice scrolls. "You're gonna be awesome!" He pauses and side-eyes his clone. "Did you just- Ah whatever, this is worth that much paper and more. Couldn't you have written that better, though? It's sloppy!"

"Oy, I had about three seconds to write this up, let's see you do better!" Silence falls as everyone's attentions are drawn to the young man bickering with himself.

"You could have done that with half the paper and still made bolder strokes! There's too much of a gap between each hiragana!"

"I said I was rushing! Besides, my faults are yours too!"

"Bullshit, I made a faulty clone!"

"Faulty clone of a tyrannical dumbass."

The original Naruto stares blankly at him before pulling a practice kunai from his pouch and swinging it down. The clone only has half a second to beg for mercy before he's popped into a cloud of smoke and promptly replaced. He stares down the new one. "Be sure to do better than the last one." He finally looks away from his clone and around the room, finding all eyes on him, some annoyed, some amused, others just confused. He chuckles nervously and scratches the back of his head. "S-Sorry… my clones get mouthy. I-I think it's because they're temporary and have no survival instinct."

Shikamaru raises a brow at that. "That's even dark for me."

Ino gives Shika her death glare. "Did you just-"

"Alright, settle down, everyone." Iruka sighs, rubs his temples. Of course Naruto would find a way to turn something so impressive into something annoying. It did provide Hinata with a good distraction so she could return to her seat in peace, though. "Alright. Inuzaka Kiba."

"About time." He chuckles and saunters to the front of the class with his hands in his hoodie pockets and Akamaru half asleep atop his head. "Mind if we test Akamaru while we're at it? He can channel chakra, so he should be able to."

"Oh?" Iruka pauses and pinches his chin again. "Interesting… alright, I've got a few extra sheets." He hands one to Kiba first, who grins as it crumbles and burns.

"Interesting." Iruku kneels to inspect the remains. "Although your elements are the same as Chouji's, your proficiencies are more balanced between the two. The paper didn't crumble as finely as Chouji's did, and the flames were hotter. I'd say the ratios come down to around 3:1 for Chouji, and 1:1 for you."

"That so? Huh. Well, I'm sure I can work with it." He peeks up to Akamaru and holds a second sheet to the silent pup. He lets off a cheerful yap before biting the paper and watching it fold and crinkle. "And looks like you're lightning, bud! Hell yeah! Uh-" He stares for a moment as Akamaru takes a bite out of the paper and mumbles something in his clan's canine language. "And apparently this paper is surprisingly sweet. Huh." Snorts and laughter break out throughout the room as Kiba sighs and walks back to his seat.

"Shikamaru Nara."

The laziest ninja in the village, save for maybe Izumo and Kotetsu, AKA The Gatekeepers, makes his way to the front of the class somehow even slower than the anxiety stricken Hyuga. He picks up the paper and watches as random patches of it either burn or become damp, resulting in the two snuffing each other out after a few seconds, leaving a piece of water-warped dry paper with charred patches surrounding small holes burnt through. "Hm. So I inherited my mom's water, huh? Weird… I never took after her much. Guess this is something she'll be proud of. Troublesome…" He sighs and walks off with the paper as evidence. "She's probably gonna slave-drive me into learning a water jutsu by graduation now."

"Um…" Iruka chuckles nervously. "Ok then…" _'Great, now Yoshino's gonna be on my ass too if I don't start pushing him more in class.'_ He clears his throat and calls the next student down. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn…" Sasuke squeezes his way out from between the fangirls flanking him and makes his way to the front of the class with annoyance etched into every crease in his face. "Isn't this a waste of time? My whole clan specialized in fire. That paper's just gonna burst into flames." He grabs it and freezes as the paper first folds and crumples into the most jagged patterns yet, then bursts into flames and scatters ash across the front of the class. "… What?"

"Hmm.." Iruka inspects the resulting ash. "Well, you clearly still have a strong affinity for fire, but it appears your primary element is still lightning. You'll probably still learn fire jutsu as easily as the rest of your clan did, but lightning should still be your specialty."

".. Um… right." Sasuke sighs and shoves his hands buried in his pockets on the way back to his seat, glaring into empty space all the way.

"Ok then…" Iruka grins up into the stands. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hell yeah!" Naruto of course lacks the patience to walk, instead leaping over his desk and clean over everyone's heads, landing before his favorite teacher and grabbing the paper with enthusiasm only someone as hyperactive as himself could muster. In his endless excitement, he pumps the paper full of far too much chakra, causing it to be cut to ribbons and even cut his hands a bit in the process, then the remaining pieces crack and crumble. Silence falls as everyone takes a moment to let whatever just happened sink in. "Well…" Iruka chuckles and leans down to congratulate his adoptive little brother. "Congratulations, Naruto. You're a natural wind user, and it seems you have a decent secondary affinity for earth too!"

After a few moments of registering what just happened, Naruto cheers and leaps nearly to the ceiling. "HELL YEAH! Ya hear that Hinata-chan? I've got wind too! We're both gonna be AWESOME!" For now, all anyone can manage to do is gawk at the young blonde. In the span of a month, he'd gone from dead last and nobody to being a trap master, learning fuuinjutsu, and now having futon up his sleeve. Even Kiba, who'd dropped into dead last among their group with Naruto's advancements, was starting to catch up, and had three elements at his disposal. This was the last spark most of them needed under their asses to realize they all had to kick it into high gear to not be humiliated by falling behind these two.

Hinata on the other hand is just watching her crush with the widest smile she could remember every having plastered on her face. She's never seen him so happy, and now, she knows for certain that he not only knows she exists, but really cares.

"Hey, what about me?!" Ino bolts up from her seat. "I need my test yet!"

Iruka sighs and waves her down. "I didn't forget. Naruto's just… ignore him and walk around, he'll be at this for a while." Ino runs down to the front of the class and nearly bowls Naruto over, grabbing her test sheet and raising it to the ceiling. It crumples and folds spastically, then grows damp, breaks away from her grasp, and splats onto her face.

* * *

"So, Naruto…" The Sandaime takes a puff from his pipe, breathing out various smoke patterns into the air, altered by his chakra. "How's your training going? Kakashi told me you were successful with the Kage Bunshin over the weekend. Quite the addition to your arsenal, I must say." He chuckles softly. "And an old favorite of mine, passed onto me by my sensei, the Nidaime."

Naruto perks up and raises a brow. "The Nidaime made that? Huh… good to know. But anyway, I'm here for something bigger. Like… big enough that you may wanna seal the door."

Hiruzen narrows his eyes for a moment, but nods and uses a quick half handsign to seal and soundproof the room. "That's quite the statement, Naruto. What do you have to speak of that's so confidential?"

He smirks and crosses his arms, left foot propped up on his right knee. "Well, you might wanna know that the Kyuubi says you're one of the few people to earn his respect without making him want to eat you."

* * *

A.N.: Well ladies and gents, things are about to get interesting. I don't exactly plan to only expand on Naruto in this way. No, everyone is going to be improved. Complete with elemental additions to arsenals, summoning contracts (and changing some existing contracts), and a few custom weapon designs flying around. Some of it is admittedly inspired by one of my favorite fic writers, particularly ThirdFang. Love ya man, you've been a source of inspiration for ten goddamn years and counting. So yeah, that's where I got Naruto's elemental setup from. But I won't be copying the techniques ThirdFang developed, I have too much respect for him to do that. No, I have very different but equally awesome wind jutsu in mind for our little blonde bastard. And just wait until you see what I have lined up for the rest of the Kanoha 12!

PS: What's everyone think of my changes to Naruto's mindscape? I feel it's pretty fitting for the trap master addition.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Guardians**

Sarutobi Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose, then reaches into the top left drawer of his desk, retrieving a small sample of a dried medicinal herb for his pipe. Well, many people wouldn't call it medicinal, but at his age, stress is potentially fatal. In his case, it is medicinal. "Should have done something to that furry orange bastard's tongue before Minato sealed him. So how long have you known, then?"

Naruto leans back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Hmm… three days now? It was the night Kakashi sensei taught me the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." He rolls his eyes. "Apparently, he saw chakra exhaustion as a good way to put me under and get my attention."

The old monkey lights his pipe with a quick application of fire chakra and take a puff. "Sounds about right. That seal is a fine piece of work, the likes of which even my best student couldn't reproduce, but there's still notable flaws."

The blonde scratches his head. "Yeah, I tried studying it with a clone, but what little sealing knowledge I have so far isn't half as much as I'd need to understand even the smallest pieces of this seal. So what weaknesses do you know, then?"

"Well, let's see…" He blows out a ring a smoke, reshaping it into an Uzumaki clan spiral with pure chakra control. "Running out of your own chakra and still attempting to use more will draw from the fox's chakra as a backup source. Doing so might impair your judgement as his will seeps into your mind. Secondly, heightened states of emotion can draw upon it, namely rage, hate, potentially sorrow, or even fear. That's all a side effect of the seal's function to leak bits of its chakra into your system at a constant rate to help you acclimate to it."

"Hmmm…" Naruto pulls a notebook from his pocket and jots down a few things. "Ok… so what about not telling me for so long?" He gives the elderly leader a half-lidded, half-hearted glare.

Hiruzen falls silent for a few moments, then sighs and hangs his head. "I may be Hokage, but my power is not absolute. The fact of what you are makes you a prime target for our enemies, should news escape the village. If Iwa especially found out, you would have been dead within a few weeks. Besides that, I decided it would be best for you to grow up knowing you had a choice to become a ninja, rather than feeling it's your duty as a jinchuuriki. So, to maintain as much normalcy as possible, I forbade anyone to speak of your condition." He grumbles. "Sadly, news spread too quickly before I could make that decree, and many parents in the village were already privy to your status."

"Well, that explains a lot…" Naruto puts his book away and crosses his arms. "... goddamnit, Jiji. You really screwed the pooch on that one."

He groans and nods, burying his wrinkled face into rough, worn hands. "That I did, Naruto. It's quite possibly one of the worst-kept secrets in the village. Outside it, news has yet to spread, but inside…

Naruto snorts. "I may as well wear a nametag saying 'Hello, I am the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, please stab me.'" He closes his eyes and lets it all sink in. "… Well… now that I'm in on that secret, I just have one last thing to ask you." The Hokage peeks up and props his chin on folded hands. "… Can I have express permission to test non-lethal versions of my traps on anyone who's treated me like shit or overcharged me for it?"

A sly grin stretches across the kage's sagging face. "I'll let the anbu know not to step in. Oh, and now that we're on to lighter topics…" He pulls a cross from his desk and tosses it. "That contains three things for you. The next volume on sealing, Yoko's ninken license, and the directions for applying the seal that identifies her as one."

Naruto looks through the scroll for a moment, then smiles and nods. "I'll get right on it, then. Thanks, Jiji!" He rushes out of the room and nearly jumps down the entire flight of stairs, leaving Asura behind seemingly alone.

"… You may have to speak to him sooner than you'd planned."

A sigh comes from behind him with no discernable source, until an old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view. "Maybe. But, the real me's still two countries north in Gohangakure, weeding out that snake. He's got a couple leads to look into out east and likely to be there for a few months soon, probably until August." He chuckles a bit. "So hey, when the runt passes and gets a C rank, try and send him out that way."

Hiruzen nods. "I certainly will, if the chance arises. For now, I believe you're almost out of chakra. Best release yourself so you have enough left to get everything you just heard and said to the original."

"Yeah, I'm goin. Catch ya later, sensei." A quick pop and a puff of smoke alerts him to the disappearance of Jiraiya clone. For now, the old kage has much to think about.

* * *

The following weekend was pure mayhem.

Ten different grocers discovered that their produce had been rigged with small explosives, splattering their halls and walls with various impromptu smoothies. Any attempts to disarm them was met with a new uniform that would match their latest fruity décor.

A few ninja tool and weapon stores would find their doors, walls, and displays all plastered with posters advertising a sale over at Higurashi Outfitters. Of course, the owners who discovered the posters immediately tried to remove them, but they were glued down rather securely. Upon attempting to use a kunai or other sharp tools to remove them, a foul-smelling gas and powder mixture would release from beneath each poster. All of those stores became too rancid for any customers to consider, and the offer of Higurashi's sale was too good to pass up. A certain bun-haired kunoichi was left wondering if she should track down this prankster and pay them for their patronage.

After Tenten had done just that and even thrown in a free set of basic tools and weapons, Naruto knew just where to take this cash. No, not Ichiraku's, as he had a much more entertaining meal in mind. A few bills in some guards' pockets, and the next day, some of Kanoha's prisoners in the local station built into the cliffside north of the monument would find their meals to have an odd aftertaste, followed soon after by a constant itching in their throats and eventual diarrhea. It was such an odd coincidence that all of them happened to be former academy teachers.

And for his last trick, he decided to get a leg up on the worst group at the academy, as well as on a certain raven-haired prick's good side. The entire O.S.F.C. (Official Sasuke Fan Club) received letters informing them that a generous benefactor had discovered a 'secret training ground' that the Uchiha would be using the next day. It contained a small waterfall and stream through some relatively rocky terrain, perfect for training to handle odd-angled attacks and uneven terrain. In this case, he said the Uchiha would be testing his ability to maintain a fire jutsu against water and overpower it. Just the kind of hype that the fangirls would buy into.

When they arrived, they were treated to the sight of a shirtless Sasuke meditating beneath the waterfall. They all watched from afar for a few moments, and as soon as Naruto was certain they were all gathered, his clone changed its henge from a shirtless Sasuke to a speedo-wearing, oily, fat version of Elder Homura. This clone proceeded to dance for the girls with his tongue rolling out as they all took off screaming and gagging.

What none of the fangirls had realized was he had clones in the trees taking photos of every moment of their horrified expressions and desperate attempts to escape, which were handed off to Sasuke as payment. He cherished them for years.

* * *

There were two particular girls out of the victims of that prank that began to wonder just how she had fallen for it. One of them was seated on a bench just outside her favorite dango shop. She always had quite the sweet tooth, but it's been ages since she's indulged, in her pursuit of a 'perfect body'. Right now, she just needed comfort food to help her think over her latest plight. Sakura knew that she had clearly been fooled by not one, but two henges, and a lie that if she'd stopped thinking about Sasuke for two seconds, she would have noticed immediately. What she received for her failure was humiliation and nightmares of that whole event for the week since. She knew well enough that it was Naruto's fault, as he was the only prankster with that sort of talent and devotion to the art in the entire village. But how had Naruto of all people been able to pull the wool over her eyes?

She already knew the answer. She was weak. She'd become weaker than him, less focused than him, and her prospects as kunoichi were dimming fast from her own perspective. She bit the last piece of dango off her stick, throwing it across the street and embedding the wooden skewer into the opposing fence.

"Not bad, kid." Sakura nearly jumps out of her introspective stupor as she raises her gaze to a woman seated just a few feet to her left. Her attire was… appalling, in her opinion. The trench coat was respectable enough, but the fact she had apparently nothing but a mesh shirt beneath it and not so much as a sports bra, let alone any bra, made it almost embarrassing to be seated by her. But, her headband stood out well enough to be certain of the woman's superiority. She bites a piece of dango off her own serving and proceeds to throw it into the fence as well, almost completing a leaf insignia. For a moment, Sakura had to wonder just how she was able to eat enough dango to make that, but still keep her… admittedly impressive figure. "Somethin's got you pissed off. Good. Let that fire in your belly push you to improve."

Sakura pauses for a moment, but sighs and rubs at her left temple. "I don't even know where to start. I come from a civilian family. I can't get any clan training, and I barely even recognize my own strengths. I'm smart, but… my instincts are terrible, and I don't know a single jutsu outside the academy three."

The purple haired kunoichi leans back against the wood paneling on the store's front and crosses her arms behind her head. "Well, that's not giving me much to go off of, brat. Can't excel if you can't recognize your own skills, and just pointing out weaknesses makes you sound like a whiny bitch."

"Hey!"

"If you've got the drive to complain about that, try to change my mind."

Once again, Sakura is dumbstruck. She falls silent and takes a few moments to think over everything she remembers Iruka-sensei saying about her. "… Well, my chakra control is apparently the best in the class, and I'm a balanced water and earth chakra user, though I haven't trained in either…"

"Well, that's plenty to start with!" Anko grins and finishes her last bit of dango, finishing the center of the spiral on her makeshift Kanoha symbol with it. "You're lucky ya found me in a good mood, kid. I'm best friends with someone who's great with genjutsu, and she even happens to have a water affinity." She stands and stretches, nearly exposing her ample assets in the process, but somehow her coat manages to keep her legally decent. Turns out, that's actually part of a chakra control exercise she uses to keep her coat attached to her chest at all times. "She'll find you. Kind of impossible to miss that hair. Just keep an eye out for red eyes, and you won't miss her either." Anko walks off wither usual sadistic smile. "I'm sure we'll meet again, Pinky. Kick some ass out there, prove kunoichi can kick just as much ass as the best of the boys."

Sakura could only watch in shock as she left, but soon, her eyes narrowed and her will became steel. A fire was lit in her heart the boiled her water chakra. Her inner self was already on a verbal self-aggrandizing tirade of epic proportions.

* * *

Ino on the other hand was already hard at work. Her nose was buried deep in a neuropsychology textbook she'd taken from her father's study, agonizingly memorizing every detail she could. Beside her was another scroll on lightning chakra application theories. She didn't hear her father enter, looking for the book and scroll she had taken without permission. She didn't hear him leave either, with a smile on his face as he considered the potential his daughter has just stumbled upon. For once, her impulsiveness paid off, and he couldn't bring himself to berate her for seeking to better herself, especially in such a surprising manner as this. For some time, he had been worried about her career as a kunoichi. Now, he felt he had little to fear at all, besides whatever monstrous jutsu she would develop.

* * *

Shikamaru sat in a meditative state on his back porch, a leaf in his hand. Any civilians to see him would just consider it his usual laziness, but Shikaku and Yoshino Nara know better. Beside him were scrolls on both fire and water chakra theory, so neither of them could be certain which element he was attempting to influence the leaf with. Would it burn to ashes in his hand, or saturate with dew and drip? There was nothing thus far, but neither of them expected any progress very soon. Elemental composition training is always a taxing process.

What neither of them knew was that he was currently sitting on the evidence of his success, one burnt leaf and one wet leaf now stuck to his ass, while he used this opportunity to nap. Shikaku suspected it, but he loved the brilliance too much to spoil it.

* * *

The other recognized genius of the class was finding himself a bit hard of breathing. He takes a moment to test his hands, flexing them and finding them to feel the muscles beneath in motion. With it, he felt his newest hive respond with a gentle buzzing. "Settle down. I know, you are not yet acclimated to your new diets. Rest assured, you will thrive with it." He clenches his fist and feels a current run through his arm. "As will I."

Off to Shino's left, Shibi Aburame takes notes of the chakra reactions his own kikaichu are reporting. "Fascinating. With a few hundred short-lives generations, maybe as little as a year, you may even produce an entire new subspecies…"

* * *

The Hyuuga heiress was similarly exhausted. Small cuts and chakra burns littered her hands, and the rest of her body was lightly bruised and sore in many places, but she stood over her downed foe with a confidence she could only recall ever feeling in the moment Naruto praised her for their shared wind affinity. It was this reason that she chose to experiment with this element first, but it did not come easily. And yet, the fruits of her labor now kneel before her. A Hyuuga assigned by her father as her sparring partner for the day, holding a cut on his calf. He'd never seen this attack coming. It wasn't the Jyuken. Their clan's style was far more direct, but she had ducked under a strike towards her right shoulder, around his left, spun on her toes mid-fall, and swung a strike at his calf partially composed of wind chakra.

And her father had witnessed it all with his Byakugan. The veins in his face twitched as he took in the fine details, and although he did not smile, the faintest of twitches in his lips was enough for Hinata to see not only his surprise, but pride.

* * *

Sasuke's eyes burned with an all too familiar pride and passion. If lightning was the element he'd been handed, then he would strike like lightning itself, while the iron is still hot. If he could excel so much with fire when it was his secondary element, then he would find his grasp on lightning by the time he graduated.

It was slow-going so far. His eyes and hands burned. When he had finally gotten an electrical charge through his leaf, lighting its veins, he had overcharged it and nearly blinded himself. When the spots had cleared, he burned through the entire pile of leaves he'd collected for his training in just over an hour. Once again, his skills as a ninjutsu prodigy were proven unabashedly true.

All that was left was to scour his clan's library for his first lightning jutsu.

* * *

Chouza Akimichi was beaming at his son across the dinner table. His appetite had been worked to an all-time high, tearing through the meal with a ravenous fervor the likes of which he hadn't seen in years, but he couldn't blame the boy at all, especially with the results they achieved. Earth was a very natural element for their family, but he was taking to it quite early. Of course, the reason for that was partly due to an odd old convention of Kanoha. The high concentration of fire aligned shinobi in this village lead to efforts to delay elemental training until students were more mature, as it tended to result in frequent fires across town, until they removed it from the academy curriculum. Now, only those that passed the academy and were awarded their headbands were usually taught to wield their elements at such an age, unless their clans or a tutor or sorts aided them.

Of course, Chouji only received the best from Chouza. If his son had the drive to learn something, he would damn well teach him. The trench dug through their back yard was testament enough to the results, and his son's motivation.

* * *

Naruto lays back in his bed, staring up at his tiled ceiling with an almost blank stare, but the faintest of smiles on his face. Just four months ago, he was still a nobody. Now, he was almost done with the basics of sealing, he knew his elements, had learned a wonderful new jutsu, trap construction, and learned of his status as a jinchuuriki. He hadn't spoken with the fox in two months, not since his incident with the clone training, but that didn't mean he hadn't tried. For now, he'd have to settle for doting over the fox currently in his lap, petting her in silence as his gaze turned out the window to the full moon just now breaching the elevated horizon of the monument's cliffside. The sun had always been a spiritual champion of the people, but Naruto saw the moon as a symbol of what it truly meant to be a shinobi. A beacon of hope in the darkness, silent, ominous, and orbiting the world as a constant guardian. It was a clear, beautiful night, and he could see the stars shining as though the heavens themselves had come to tell him of a brighter future. "Tomorrow, Yoko." His smile grows wider, and his determination smolders, waiting to ignite in full at the first sign of a challenge. "We get our headband, and we take the world by storm."

* * *

A.N.: Sorry for the wait! Finals season kicked my ass, along with a few personal issues thrown in that all the stress from finals certainly did not help. But, I'm on break now until late next month, so I'll be able to knock at least one more out for yas relatively soon. Much sooner than the gap between this and the last one, at least.

Now, for any of you who thinks you can see where all the changes in these characters are going so far: You're dead wrong. There's false leads and all over the place, and new tricks up my sleeve yet that I can't fit in the plot threads for yet, or any time soon for a few of them. I've been planning these character edits for some time, and I have a feeling many of you will be very, very pleased with them once I finally get to show them off.

As my first request to you, I'm in the market for a beta reader. You can apply via PMs, of course.

On other fronts, it seems my book is still not selling. So, if any of you would like to see better edited, more professional work from me, I suggest you all look into CONTROL: Ubiquity of Chaos on Amazon! Maybe a little something to consider with any upcoming gift cards for the holidays.

For now, I bid you all adieu. Please remember to fav, follow, review, and check out my other fic! That one's not getting nearly enough love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Long Awaited**

Kanohagakure's Shinobi Academy is a surprisingly simple place. It looks about the same as any other schoolhouse, save for the nature of the installations in the yard. Occasionally, civilians can be found loitering by the schoolyard to watch their up-and-coming guardians in action, and to get just a glimpse into the life of a shinobi that's otherwise unattainable for the untrained masses. On graduation day, this is especially true. The potential of this class had drawn out an entire crowd, to the point that some of them had started climbing trees to watch from the branches, until two green-clad walking eyesores offered to carry out a set of collapsible bleachers for them.

Before their festivities could begin though, the students inside were being briefed on the changes to the upcoming exams. Iruka, Ebisu, and the Hokage himself had painstakingly designed the new exam and selected the judges. The time had finally come to test the test.

Iruka stands before his class with pride etched into a grin that could put Naruto's to shame. In the past few months, his students had become more lively and attentive than ever, and even on a day as serious as this, it showed. Naruto kept Yoko deep in his jacket, with her head poking out beneath his chin and half asleep. When he raised an eyebrow at the lazy fox putting Akamaru and Shikamaru to shame, she stuck her tongue out at him and left it there. He couldn't help but wonder how she could sleep so peacefully with Naruto in the middle of frantically scrawling another seal while attempting to explain it to two surrounding students watching with varying degrees of fascination. Shino was his usual stoic self, but as a seasoned teacher, he could tell by Shino's repeated adjustment of his glasses that he was enrapt by the impromptu lecture. Sakura on the other hand appeared to occasionally stop Naruto and ask a few questions regarding the applications of certain radicals in the seal structure. At the moment, he seemed to be in the middle of an anecdote regarding some accidents he had with sealing various liquids without containers when using a simple water seal. Considering what he had heard through the grapevine of Sakura's training, he had no doubt she was asking for the sake of mediums and shortcuts to her new jutsu.

Nearby, Sasuke seemed to be repeatedly charging a leaf he's pinned to the table with one finger full of lightning chakra, causing it to twitch and crinkle. In his right hand, he holds a textbook on neurology. Ino appears to be stealing glances at it occasionally, seeming wary of Sasuke's two choices of study, but not disapproving. Surprisingly, Ino happened to have several leaves stuck to various parts of her body, attached purely by chakra. Hinata provides a few pointers in regards to channeling chakra to places besides the hands, mouth, and feet, something many shinobi are very unfamiliar with. Although, Iruka isn't so sure Hinata should be familiar with this so soon either. As best he recalls, he's never seen a Hyuga use Kaiten before reaching Chuunin.

Kiba in the meantime was leaning back in his seat with his feet up on the desk, bragging away to Chouji about some hunting tactics he's developed, which the portly young man appraised, while Shikamaru just behind Kiba would criticize and evaluate, much to Kiba's chagrin. As he listened, Chouji was digging into a hot, steaming bowl of miso soup, but… how did it get so hot in the middle of a classroom without a microwave or oven anywhere nearby? Shikamaru of course was just as disinterested as usual, but his hands were bandaged, and a few burns were still visible on his fingertips every time he raised his arms.

Iruka already knew they would all pass with flying colors. He was certain of it. This generation of shinobi would be the most promising and capable since the Shodaime's era.

But today is the first step. It's his job to make sure they can take the leap into active duty.

"Alright!" Iruka calls out, silencing the room. "There's a change of plans for today's exam. Recently, the entire exam was rebuilt from the ground up. Rather than requiring a certain proficiency in each area, we will be grading your skills in all areas based on level of proficiency compared to active duty shinobi. Those collective skill grades will then be combined to see your official skill rating compared to active genin and records of prior students. So…." He stomps on a particular floorboard and triggers the opening of a door to the schoolyard. "We'll be starting with a new obstacle course meant to test your agility, reflexes, speed, and observational skills all in one go. Step out and line up in alphabetical order at the start of the course."

Naruto chuckles and rolls his scroll back up, then jostles Yoko awake as he stands. Nobody's surprised to see him leading the way out, but Shino is close behind to take his spot at the front of the line. Outside the door, they all see a wall erected between them and the course, with a single curtained doorway on the far side. "Hmm.." Shino muses aloud with a smirk hidden beneath his collar. "Keeping us blind to the course. We must improvise rather than strategize. Not quite my forte, but certainly a boon to any shinobi worth their meddle. Color me impressed, Iruka-sensei." He rushes through the curtain, and all students back in the line can hear the cheers of the audience among the whirring, swinging, and snapping of various traps and machines.

Naruto peeks down to Yoko and whispers something to her, but the Inuzaka ahead of him hears the exchange well enough to decide to one-up him. The moment Kiba's called to the door, Akamaru jumps down from atop his head and stands beside him. "Ready, partner? Let's show them what a real shinobi can do…" The pup beside him yips and shifts into a sprinting stance. The moment Iruka says 'hajime', he's off.

The first thing he sees on the other side of the door is a tarpit trap. He and Akamaru leap clean over it with ease, not even needing the rafters placed above to clear it. He could tell at a glance that one of them was false and would fall right into the tar once he put his weight on it anyway. Once across the tarpit, the floor was apparently dusted with something quite slippery, possibly a lot of chalk dust, forcing him to slide towards a series of spinning posts swinging bars of various lengths at him. He ducks low and under the first, then jumps into a low aerial roll parallel to the ground to slip between the next two. He thrusts his right foot into the ground to push himself over the last set of them, flipping over it and landing on his hands on the other side. He the kicks Akamaru up and over the wall ahead of them, before pushing off the ground and vaulting over it himself. On the other side of the wall, he finds himself falling towards another much smaller tarpit trap. He and Akamaru kick off the wall they just leapt over to propel themselves over it, then roll under a door closing on the other side. As it closes, he can see that there was another route over the now closed door that would have taken him another five seconds to get through a series of hanging platforms and branches. He scoff and walks across the finish line with a grin. "Best time yet, right?"

The three judges off to the side of the track nod, one very eager Nara Yoshino raising a card with a 10 on it. The violette kunoichi beside her levels an unenthused stare at her before giving Kiba a thumbs-up, while choosing to ignore the young man's attention being drawn to her less than decent attire. Ebisu adjusts his shades and makes a few notes on his grading sheet, remaining silent and professional.

The various other attempts are mostly impressive, but none quite compared to Kiba's. His combination of reflex, instinct, speed, and strength, is the perfect setup for a gauntlet of that nature. Shino took it almost leisurely, but with fine control of his actions, struggling most with the second tar pit past the wall and having to hang from the top of it for a moment. Chouji was the second slowest, but he managed to prove his strength by getting clean over both the pits without having to use the climbing mechanisms and lacking Kiba's aerial expertise. Ino ended up being second slowest, but her acrobatics through the rafters were clearly showing off a bit. Hinata on the other hand didn't need to show off, those motions were natural and faster to her. Sakura was a bit faster than Ino, but was nearly hit during the second stage. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata were the only ones besides Kiba fast to get through the gate before it closed and not have to take the overhead route, although ironically, Naruto took the overhead route instead of the gate, with Yoko taking the low path through the gate as it closed. Shikamaru of course took it easy and completed it at as casually as possible, and managed to show off his chakra control with already getting over the wall with the wall walking technique, although the judges had noticed a few others using it more subtly in the midst of faster and more practical traversal.

As soon as Ino steps across the finish line, panting softly and glaring at the sadist in the judge's box, Iruka directs them all to the series of targets set up ahead of them. There's twenty targets in total, some at odd angles, and a few on tracks to keep the in motion. "Alright, students. I'm sure you're all astute enough to get the gist of this one. So, everyone line up to throw!"

Hinata smirks as she takes up her tools. Ever since taking up her wind and water chakra training, she's found it far easier to use these tools, and only getting easier. She peeks ahead to the front of the line and finds Shino getting sneaky with applying a few kikaichu to each kunai and using them to course correct mid-flight, earning himself far better scores than earlier in the year. His bugs weren't perfect, but they narrowed his margin of error considerably enough. Chouji had some of the worst aim there, but his kunai were buried a bit deeper. No performances really stood out until Hinata began to fling her kunai and shuriken in rapid succession, her aim near flawless, only managing to miss the bullseye on two of the moving targets. Kiba and Shikamaru haven't improved much in this field, although Shika's aim was never bad to begin with. Naruto's improved a bit, Sasuke excels as always, but oddly enough, Ino gets marks that almost catch up to the doujutsu heirs.

With the last few results jotted down, Iruka nods and waves everyone back inside. "Ok, time for the written test, then a surprise final round of the exam. So far, I'm expecting most of you will have no problems passing."

Naruto smirks as he leads the way back in, knowing everyone's watching his back. He had always excelled more in the physical aspects of being a shinobi, so they knew he'd do well enough in this part, but none of them knew what to expect of his intellectual grade. Of course, none of them knew of a little binge-reading trick he learned. Clones make learning so much fun.

.

* * *

.

"So… what do you think of them now?" At the back of the civilian crowd that had been watching the students through this phase of the exam, now beginning to split up, two henged shinobi discuss the results in the shade of a tree. One's voice is aged and stern, and the other, smooth and casual.

"Well…" The casual one chuckles to himself. "The trend of setting the rookie and the dead last on the same team will have to be broken. There are no dead-lasts here. I still intend to take the previous suspected team under my wing, though. Considering how quickly Naruto is growing… I say we should be a bit more honest with him. He knows about the fox already, and he's stayed silent on the matter and taken it in stride. He already has his father's book. It's only a matter of time before he starts piecing it together himself at this rate."

The elder nods and lights a cigarette with fire chakra from his thumb. "Maybe… I have plans to have him meet Jiraiya as soon as he can receive a C rank mission outside the village. If you are indeed his sensei, you will be present for it. The sensei, the student, and the son all together. I wish I could be there to witness it."

"You could always send a clone."

"… Why the hell didn't I think of that?"

.

* * *

.

Shikamaru had been asleep at his desk less than a third of the way into their allotted time for the written test. Of course, nobody was surprised by this in the slightest. Soon after followed Sakura, Shino, and Ino. Hinata and Sasuke completed it just past the halfway mark, and Naruto happened to finish about ten minutes before Kiba, and almost at the same time as Chouji. The moment it was completed, and ahead of schedule to Iruka's surprise, he gathered them and stood beside the door to the hallway. "Excellent work, everyone! Now, while these are graded, we'll move on to the final portion of the exam. This time, rather than testing the basic three academy jutsu, we'll be performing mock battles. You all will be challenged by assigned chuunin to test your combat capabilities and rate you accordingly. These battles will be in enclosed, uniform spaces prepared in a training ground nearby. You'll report to your assigned room, and the battle will begin. You may all bring whatever tools and you wish, and you have one hour to gather your supplies and report back to training ground 24 for the final exam. Dismissed!"

"Hai!" A few students break off from their seats and split up to prepare. Naruto lounges back in his seat and peeks over to Shikamaru, who has… gone back to sleep already. Hinata on the other hand appears to be fidgeting slightly in her seat. Even for someone as oblivious as Naruto, her anxiety is as clear as day. He has no hesitation in getting up and climbing the stairs to her seat. "What's got you so worried, Hinata?"

"Eep!" The shiest of Hyugas buries her self deeper into her jacket, attempting to disappear into fur lined hood. "… I… I-I just… don't know if I can c-c-cut it in a real f-fight…"

".. Bullshit."

Hinata blanches and stammers for a moment. "W-W-what?.."

Naruto crosses his arms and glares at nobody in particular. "You're just… yeah, you're really kind, and kinda quiet, but you have some of the best grades in the class, you're the best fighter among any of the girls, you have great aim, and you have awesome elements! I'm sure you'll be great in a real fight! You just gotta find something to drive you to give it your all, ya know? Something that gets you fired up!"

Hinata stares in slack-jawed awe through his entire rant, then blushes down to her shoulders as she looks away. "W-Well, um.. m-maybe! I-I guess I just need to t-think about w-what that is…"

Naruto flashes his signature ear to ear grin. "I'm sure you'll figure it out! You probably already know, ya just gotta let it hit you at the right time."

Off to the side, Shika groans quietly and twitches. _Really, Naruto? How are you so damn oblivious?_

 _._

* * *

.

The time had finally come. Naruto wandered along the walls of a wooden structure erected in the middle of training ground 24. The wood was unpainted and plain, but somehow seemed to still be alive, despite its unnatural shape. Eventually, he stops at door 9, finding that a bit ironic. Maybe it's on purpose. Either way, he knew his final roadblack between the academy and his headband stood just beyond it. As directed, he pushed the door open and wandered into a very dimly lit room. Inside, he finds the silhouette of a single man standing across from him. He cracks his knuckles and scoffs. "So, you ready to get your ass beat?"

A shockingly familiar voice muses back to him. "Beat my ass, huh? Yeah… if hadn't trained so much for this, maybe you could have." The lights flicker on overhead, and the smiling face of his favorite sensei greets him. "But I've been working on polishing my skills for this day, Naruto. You deserve no less than my best."

Naruto gapes and stumbles. "I-Iruka-sensei? You're really my opponent?" At first, Iruka raises a brow and tilts his head at his student's reaction, worried about his willingness to risk harm to someone to precious to him. That is, until Naruto's face is consumed in an almost sadistic, confident grin. "… I didn't know I wanted to fight you so bad until it hit me just now. I wanna see just what you've got, sensei! And how I measure up!"

Iruka matches his favorite student's smile and draws one of the blunted kunai. "Good! But before we start this… I have a request."

"Hm?" Naruto slowly shifts into a combat stance. "What would that be?"

"… Don't hold anything back… and whoever loses must accept an undeniable command, as long as it's not illegal or immoral."

"… Iruka-sensei… you're even cooler than I thought. You're on!" He rushes in to strike, taking his classic head-strong frontal approach from his earliest academy days. Iruka sighs and lowers his crossed arms, then swings a kick for Naruto's jaw as he closes in. Suddenly, Naruto's speed doubles and he rushes past the kick for a clean punch to Iruka's ribs. He cringes and ducks back, hand-standing and swinging both legs up into Naruto to force him off. In doing so, Yoko is throws from his jacket, and lands on Iruka's left leg, clawing and gnawing at it.

"GAH!" Iruka quickly flips back and drives his captured shin into the floor, forcing a yelp out of the fox and loosening her grip, allowing him to roll aside and kick her off just as Naruto comes down to stomp at the same spot in his ribs where he'd taken that first punch. Once up, he backflips away and inspects his leg wounds. "That… was pretty good. I didn't expect you to be that fast. I-It was like you started with training weights on…. Gravity seals, right?"

Naruto chuckles and hops around a bit to test himself. "Yep! Took me a while to get em down. Figured you'd get it quickly, considering you saw me writing them in class… and failing. Upside is, I figured out how I screwed it up to dent the desk when I made it, then found a new use for them!"

Iruka blanches at that. "…. You've got to be shitting me." He groans and uprights himself. "Fine then. I'll have to use more than the basics." He ducks Yoko's attempt at leaping onto his head from behind, then grabs her as she passes and flings her towards Naruto as he approaches, forcing him to catch her. As she flies, he cycles through the ryuu, tora, and u handsigns. "Suiton: Mizureppa!" He unleashes a powerful water stream from his mouth, blasting them both and forcing them to skid back, with Yoko taking the brunt of the blast. As it ends, Naruto huffs, drops the fox- and it bursts into smoke. His eyes widen as the smoke fills the room. "A-A fox shaped smoke bomb?! What the hell? How did you even teach her the Kawarimi?"

"Oh, I didn't." He chuckles as the room is filled with the sound of various smoky explosions. Iruka's eyes narrow as he detects exactly what's waiting for him in the smoke. "Remember, I trained with the Inuzaka. I learned to walk like a fox, act like a fox, and think like a fox. That was never Yoko." As the smoke clears, Iruka finds himself surrounded by fifty clones, one of them towards the front wearing a shit-eating grin, as Yoko pokes her head out from the back of his jacket, over his shoulder. "You were always good at picking up on my henges, but ya never expected me to henge into myself with a passenger, did ya? All I had to do was make a clone behind me while Yoko had you distracted with your leg. When ya kicked her aside, I replaced her with a clone henged into her, and henged the two of us to hide the hunchback in my jacket!"

Iruka stares, bewildered, but sighs and closes his eyes. "Not bad, Naruto. I guess it's a good thing I learned this one, then." Just as the clones rush him, he begins to duck and weave between them, apparently not needing to see them to detect where they are. It's taxing, but he knows this won't be a drawn-out battle either way. Naruto's already proven himself, but this is personal now. He ducks thr first few clones as their uncoordinated attacks run into each other and they disperse themselves. As his hands work on new handsigns, his left leg lunges out to catch two clones who attempt to attack low. A tenth of them are already down, and two more soon follow as he jumps into a scissor kick. Upon landing, he finishes a set of tora, u, inu, ushi, and uma. "Suiton…" He slams his hands into the floor. "Rajairu Mizureppa!" A blast of pressurized water shoots out in all directions, catching most of the clones, missing only for four who were just far enough to leap out of range, and popping them all. Yoko had been stalking about among them to approach and took a hit as well, leaving her limping about at the edge of the jutsu's radius.

But Naruto is nowhere to be seen. Iruka hums and muses to himself as he wonders where the boy could be. "Hmmm… let me see…" He turns and lings shuriken into all the remaining clones, then throws a kunai into a nearby wall, forcing Naruto to leap out from behind the genjutsu-camouflaged tarp. He knew Naruto couldn't have learned the genjutsu for the professional version of that, or had prep time to mimic that specific wall, so… "You have seals on the other side of that one that make it blend in automatically, don't you?"

"Yep." Naruto chuckles, seeming a bit winded. "That'd be right. That took me over a month to figure out once I got the idea."

Iruka pants and smirks. "You never cease to amaze, Naruto. Alright… one last round. This is where it ends!" He takes the offensive this time, charging Naruto far faster than he had expected, exceeding his own speed once the seals were turned off. He feigns running to Naruto's left for a moment, but follows it up with a leap and a spin kick to the back of Naruto's head. When he manages to barely block in time, he kicks off Naruto's forearm and backflips, forcing the student to the ground with the force of his kick. Once in the air, he fires another Mizureppa at Yoko as she attempts to approach. Back on his feet, he charges Naruto as he scrambles to his feet, but Iruka releases a second water jutsu at Naruto's feet. "Suiton: TsuruTsuru Hedoro!" He'd have to thank Izumo for the pointers on this one. The slime slipped Naruto up and kept him off his feet, allowing Iruka to close the gap and hold his kunai to his student's throat. "Heh… good work, Naruto. But as usual, you bit off a bit more than you can chew."

Naruto's slack-jawed stare maintains silence between them for a few moments, until he can manage to gather his thoughts and smile. "I always knew you were awesome, sensei. I may have lost, but I'm glad I finally got to see just how awesome."

Iruka smiles and stashes his kunai, then offers Naruto a hand and helps him to his feet. He slips for a few moments until he's pulled out of the slime patch. "You did incredibly yourself, Naruto. You didn't have to win this fight to pass, ya know. You just had to prove your skills, and you did that in spades. You may have lost the battle… but you earned your headband."

Naruto's eyes widen, his gaped mouth soon arching into the widest smile of his life. "I-I passed?! I'm a ninja?!"

Iruka crouches to his level and nods. "You did it, Naruto." He reaches to the back of his head and unties his headband, offering it to him. "And honestly, I want you to have this one."

Naruto's emotional rollercoaster drops to another awe-induced low. "W-What?... But…" He laughs softly. "… I was gonna ask for that as my reward for the bet if I won."

"I know." Iruka grins. "And for my reward for the bet… I want you to move in with me."

Naruto stumbles back in shock for a moment, nearly dropping the headband. "W-Wait... you… y-you really want me to do that?"

He nods somberly, his smile fading into one far gentler, but genuine. "… I should have asked a long time ago… but you were my student. I couldn't. Too much favoritism. But now… as a graduate… we've waited too long as it is, Naruto. If you want… I can even have Hokage-sama prepare some adoption papers." Silence falls as Naruto struggles with that concept. He'd never had a family before. He'd never known anyone to truly love him. Now, he doesn't know how to react…. But he knows he needs it more than he could ever say. Without a word, he rushes into Iruka's arms holds onto him for dear life, fighting back tears of joy. Iruka gently rubs his back and gives him time to calm down. "… When you're ready, we'll collect your things and head home… son."

Naruto nods eagerly, pulling back just enough to rub the tears off his face and look up to him. "L-Let's go h-home…"

Iruka sighs in relief as he stands, mentally praising himself for thinking ahead and talking to the Hokage about this ahead of time. As a result, the old man handled some of the first payment on the new two-bedroom apartment, and started forwarding Naruto's living expenses he'd managed for his prior apartment to Iruka's account. They both knew Naruto would leap at this opportunity. It wasn't even a slight gamble.

As they leave, Anko watches through the one-way glass on the far end of the arena with a smile plastered on her face as well. "Huh… a better fighter than I thought, a looker, and a family man…"

Ebisu looks to her and stares blankly. "… You better not make him too twisted. We need him."

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A.N.: Everyone like this fic's first fight scene? I tend to put a lot of care into combat when I write. If you'd check out my published work, CONTROL: Ubiquity of Chaos, you'd find even higher quality fight scenes, although not quite as tricky. But, I hope you all enjoy this for what I could bring to the table for Naruto's sleight-of-hand style combat. As for the adoption, after Naruto selected Iruka to act as his father for his wedding in the anime, I figured I just had to run with that. It's a good role for Iruka, and I feel they both deserve it. Now to add a mother figure… I'm sure you can see where that's going.

But for now, keep on reading, expect quicker updates now that I have my computer and Microsoft Office back in working order, and review each chapter, get this up on some recommendation pages, etc. I'll try and make the contents of the fic big, and you guys help to give it the presence to match.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Family, Friends, and Fuckery**

Naruto wakes to find himself staring at an unfamiliar faded teal ceiling. Yoko's rhythmic breathing against his side keeps him calm and grounded long enough to recall the events of the previous evening. Tears almost instantly came to his eyes. It hadn't been a dream. He actually had a real home now.

After the exam, the he and iruka had gone back to Naruto's apartment to pick up all his things. It only took about five minutes to pack, as Naruto really didn't own much, and they didn't need to bring any of the furniture. That, and Naruto's sealing scrolls made quick work of it. After seeing just how sparse Naruto's wardrobe was, they took a quick trip to get him a new one and a new set of professional kunai, shuriken, and other odds and ends. After that was of course an obligatory stop at Ichiraku's to celebrate before returning home.

Unbeknownst to Naruto, Iruka didn't live here long. When he proposed adopting Naruto to the Hokage, the aging philanthropist offered to give them both Minato and Kushina's old apartment. For now, Iruka only knew this was once Naruto's parents' place, but was not informed of their identities. He knew already, of course. The sly grin he gave Hiruzen made that clear enough without need for words. Iruka knew Kushina and Minato well enough. Not as well as Kakashi, but enough to put the pieces together.

The remainder of their night was spent helping Naruto to set his new bedroom up, and a few hours in the livingroom, chatting late into the night and eagerly discussing training and some of Iruka's more interesting experiences on the field before he became a teacher. A few of those stories even inspired a few more seal and trap designs, some of which left Iruka shivering at the thought of the nightmares he just helped to create.

When it was finally time for Naruto to sleep, he'd passed out within a few minutes with a genuine smile still plastered on his face. Now waking to find it hadn't just been one of the many sweet dreams that have taunted him with the idea of a family and a home only to rip it away, Naruto couldn't possibly be more grateful.

At least, he thought so until he smelt bacon.

He kicked at the air and sprung straight to his feet, only to get tangled in his blanket and trip. He remains faceplanted on the carpet for a few moments until Yoko licks his face. "… Yes, good morning, Yoko. Go to-" He pauses for a moment. "… Go to dad. I'll catch up in a minute." That word… It's still so foreign, but so right. After hearing Yoko trot out of the room, he takes his time untangling himself, then stumbles out to the dining room in his pinstripe pajamas. If only he could have known the world changing moment that took place here, the simple decision made right where he stands that determined so much of his life. For now though, all that mattered to him was the man he now called his father, and his scarred face grinning down to him from beside the table as he dished out a homecooked breakfast.

"Good morning, Naruto. Hope you slept we-" The wind is nearly knocked out of him by another of Naruto's rare, but overpowering hugs. He stares for a moment, but sighs and smiles, kneeling own to hug him in return. He knows better than to speak and ruin this moment. Yoko steps up and circles around them, rubbing against their legs, and providing the last bit of comfort Naruto needs to feel like he's truly home. For the first time in his life… he's home.

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* * *

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Naruto's attachment to orange was, oddly enough, a fluke caused by his condition as a jinchuuriki and the town's reaction. It was difficult for him to get affordable clothes, so for something durable enough to withstand his training, he had to pick the cheapest option. Of course, it ended up being his "kill me" orange jumpsuit. He got attached to it pretty fast, learning to love the color and adapt it as a part of his personality. It's bold, it's confident, and it's rare to see anyone wearing it for anything but work risk related reasons.

Thankfully, Iruka managed to convince Naruto to take up an outfit that uses it far less predominantly.

Naruto stands in front of the mirror to inspect himself. His jacket's been replaced with a deep gray hoodie with burnt orange on the hem, wrists, down the middle along the zipper, and on the entire inner lining. The inside is full of dozens of pockets to easily stash scrolls over scrolls and various extra tools if the pouch on his lower back is compromised. He tops it off with khaki cargo pants, topping him off with yet more pockets. His sandals are swapped for similar boots for the sake of the closed toes and stronger soles. As he's inspecting himself, Yoko leaps up into his hood and curls up there. Naruto rolls his eyes and checks that the Uzumaki symbol on his shoulder is still in place, embroidered in his new burnt orange. He knows a larger version of the same is on his back, but Yoko making his hood sag has certainly obscured it. He takes a moment to adjust his headband, then steps out of his room and off to the livingroom. It's empty now, as Iruka's already left ahead of time to speak with the Hokage and get some paperwork done before the team assignments.

Yet another huge change in his life. He knew it was coming, and has for a long time, but it's still so surreal, standing in a livingroom of what's just now become his home, missing the presence of a man he now calls dad, about to go to his last day at the academy. It feels like his entire life has flipped in an instant, and only now is it really setting in.

But, he doesn't have time to waste thinking about it now. He double checks his pockets and locks up on his way out, stepping out through the eastern shopping district towards the academy. He shoves his hands in his pockets and struggles not to laugh as Yoko pokes her head out and sniffs at his ear, tickling him.

"Hey, Naruto!" He turns to face a familiar bun-haired kunoichi racing up to him. "Wow, that's…" Tenten stumbles to a stop and stares at him for a moment. "... That's a huge improvement. That old orange getup was the second biggest eyesore in town."

"Second only to Gai's green spandex, I know" He sighs and tilts his head aside as Yoko pops out to greet her.

"Oh, hello Yoko!" She coos over the fox and scratches under her chin. She gladly accepts and closes her eyes to fully appreciate it. "So, you two headed to team assignments?"

Naruto grins wildly and punches into his left hand. "Can't wait to show my sensei just what kind of monster he got on his team. I'm gonna blow his mind. And probably blow him up a few times."

Tenten rolls her eyes. "Speaking of which, the shop's running low on exploding tags, and there aren't many in town that know how to make good ones. Can you maybe contribute a few?"

He pauses and thinks that over. "Maybe… One condition, though. You guys provide the ink and paper for the job, and I'll make as many as ya like, in return for a permanent discount."

"Deal!" She grins and pumps her fist into the air. "When can you start?" She's then surrounded by blasts of smoke, fading to reveal ten clones surrounding her. "… O-Oh. Right. Ok, immediately, then." She laughs nervously. "Just follow me back to the store, then. Thanks, Naruto!" She's assailed by a round of simultaneous 'You're welcome's in stereo. He knows how eerie that is to someone not accustomed to this jutsu, right? Shit, he probably doesn't.

"R-Right.. well, g-good luck with your team!" She hurries back to the store and waves for the clones to follow, leaving Naruto to make the rest of the walk to the academy in silence. Upon arriving to his classroom, all eyes fall upon him in a matter of seconds.

"… What?"

"Holy shit, he actually did it." Ino stares across the room at him as she slowly rises from her seat. "You actually got rid of the jumpsuit from hell. You actually look like a sane, functional human being for once!"

Naruto scowls, and oddly enough, Yoko pokes her head out beside his to join him. "Yeah, I've gotten enough of that already."

"Eeeeh…" Iruka rubs the back of his neck. "Well… they have a point, Naruto."

"Damnit, you just adopted me, and you already betray me?"

"Adopted?" Kiba peeks up for a moment, blinking in silence as that sets in. "… Damn, man. Congrats! Heh, and my mom was considering doing it herself after all that training ya did with us." He raises a thumb to Iruka. "Good on ya, teach'."

While everyone else takes their turns congratulating the two and turning them red, Sasuke just… stares. He doesn't really hate Naruto anymore. He wouldn't say he likes the blonde nutjob, but he respects him. Now though, all he can feel is a sense of loss and loneliness he thought he'd left behind him years ago. All these years, and he still living alone in the Uchiha compound. He thought he'd always have that in common with Naruto. With that gone, he just doesn't know what to think of him now. He wants to be happy for him, but… he can't.

"Alright, settle down everyone." Iruka waves his students back to their seats, and Naruto follows suit. "To begin, I would to congratulate all of you for graduating and moving into your careers as shinobi of the Konoha!" A round of cheers erupts throughout the room. He lets it peter out before continuing. "Normally, I would tell you all to not take this as permission to slack and become complacent with your current talents. With this class, I don't believe I have to." He grins. "I've watched you all grow from greenhorned runts to living evidence of a bright future for our village. Your talents and demeanors command my attention more than the last few rounds of Chuunin exams, and your potential is beyond what I ever could have expected. I'm sure all of you fully intend to take paths least traveled and forge your own ways to greatness. I hope to see all of you surpass me in the years to come, as now, I have nothing left to teach you." He bows to them, and in return, his students bow to him. Once he's raised himself upright again, he picks a clipboard off his desk and waves it at the graduates. "As such, it's time to meet your new senseis. So, pay close attention for your name, and try to gather with your team once you've heard it." He clears his throat and gets to the list, and for now, many of them mentally check out and think about the road ahead until their names bring them to attention.

"Team 7 is… Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto perks up and nearly leans over his desk. "Haruno Sakura." Sakura's brow furls, but nobody can be certain exactly why. "and Uchiha Sasuke." Three of them look to one another with a combination of apprehension and curiosity. Months ago, Sakura would have squealed, Sasuke would have barely reacted, and Naruto would have cheered over being with Sakura before lamenting the Uchiha. Since then, Sakura was thoroughly pranked but driven to take her career more seriously, Naruto stopped fawning over her or hating Sasuke on principal, and Sasuke warmed up to the blonde thanks to those blackmail photos, not to mention no longer hating Saskura's recently abandoned fangirl tendencies. They stand on neutral ground. Not a strong foundation, but one with a lot of potential. "Your sensei is Hatake Kakashi." And this piqued Naruto's interest. So the scarecrow's picked him again, huh? This should be fun.

"Team 8 is Hyuuga Hinata…" The heiress raises her head and almost activates her Byakugan with her sheer focus on this moment. "Inuzaka Kiba." The pup and his partner nearly howl as they hop out of their seats, raring to go. After all the pack hunting tactics they've been developing, they can already see exactly what the logic of this team is with only two units. And that would mean the last one is… "and Aburame Shino." Shino pushes his glasses up and his internal hives buzz to life as they feed off the adrenaline rush in his system. "Your sensei is Yuhi Kurenai." Hinata perks up and sighs in relief. _Nai-neesan. Thank Kami…_

"Team 9 is still in circulation under Maito Gai. Moving on to Team 10, we have Nara Shikamaru-"

The Brainiac raises his head from his desk and cuts him off. "Akamichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, we get it. This team was kind of predictable."

Ino chuckles nervously, her left eyebrow twitching. "Yeeeaah, but Shika? Ya didn't have to spoil it like that."

Chouji shrugs as he finishes off his bag of chips. "I saw it coming. He's been kinda touchy lately."

Iruka nods and barely squeaks out some quiet, nervous laughter. _Anyone would be if they had Yoshino training them, let alone as a parent._ He coughs and composes himself. "W-Well, your sensei is Sarutobi Asuma. I'm sure you won't have any issues with him, Shikamaru. So, now that teams are decided, you should all wait here for your senseis to arrive."

That said, the students break away from their seats and gather with their new teammates. Naruto fistbumps Shikamaru as he passes and gives Hinata a kind and simple smile, which nearly causes her turn red in an instant. Dropping into a seat between Sasuke and Sakura, he props his feet up on the desk and smirks. "So, so do you two think?"

Sakura bites her lip and crosses her arms. "Well, our team's versatile. My genjutsu and potential as a medic once I meet a good teacher for it, your sealing and general unpredictability, not to mention Yoko…" The kit pops her head out of Naruto's hood and yips at her, immediately receiving a light petting on her head. "And Sasuke's a ninjutsu prodigy. We're practically designed to be an all-purpose team with little to no overlap on talents. We have one raw strategy team and one tracking team, so it makes sense to have a more balanced one like us."

"Well said." Sasuke leans over his head, chin propped up on laced fingers. "We just have to hope our sensei is competent enough to handle our range of talents. Otherwise, I don't see us having any strict weaknesses. With Yoko, we even have some tracking potential." She yips again, and Sasuke smirks over to her. "Yes, you're a critical team member too. Maybe more so than Naruto."

"Hey!" The blonde scowls, but by the twitching at the corner of his mouth, it's obviously forced. He's just glad to see Sasuke throwing jokes, if a bit condescending still. Yoko on the other hand turns her nose up and hops out of Naruto's hood, bounding across desks to the back. They soon hear Hinata mumbling in the usual cutesy voice to the kit and doting over her. Naruto just rolls his eyes and smiles softly, leaving them be for now. "So, now the only problem is that our sensei is Kakashi. I've worked with the guy before, and lemme tell ya, real piece of work."

Sakura raises an eyebrow at that, planting her elbow on her desk and propping her cheek on her fist. "What do ya mean by that?"

"He's always late for everything and reads those perverted Icha Icha books constantly, even in public."

Sakura cringes, and her right eye begins to twitch. "Sasuke, you know fire jutsu, right?"

"Burn the books, got it."

"Team Eight!" A woman with deep red eyes and flowing, luscious black hair calls from the door. If not for the lack of tomoe in her eyes, Sasuke could have sworn he was looking at someone of his own clan. Maybe there's some kind of distant relation? Not implausible. Her sense of fashion is a little flashier than his clan ever had, though. That dress almost looks like it's made of bandages. Hinata nearly runs down the stairs to meet with her sensei, with Kiba right behind her and Shino taking his time. As Hinata passes, Yoko leaps from her arms and back onto the desk in front of Team 7.

"Team Ten?" A darker-skinned, bearded man in the usual navy shinobi attire and green flack jacket steps in with his hands deep in his pockets, giving Kurenai a bit more than a passing glance as she leaves with her team. Ino's the first to nearly leap down the stairs, and Shikamaru of course trails behind, dragging his feet. For the next ten minutes, everyone leaves team by team, until only Team Seven remains. Iruka left in the midst of it all to finish up the last of the paperwork for this class, grinning at the thought of that hell Kakashi's tardiness will bring him now.

"… Almost two hours now. Fuck it." Naruto stands and digs into the scrolls in his pockets. "This scarecrow's earned the role of test dummy now."

"Are you sure that's smart, Naruto?" Sakura places her hands on her hips and watches Naruto's preparations closely. She doesn't approve, but she's certainly curious…

"He knows I'm on this team. He knows I'm impatient. He brought this on himself." He unfurls a scroll and starts low, quiet maniacal laughter as he writes out the seal for this morning's mischief.

Ten minutes later, Kakashi opens the classroom door to find a small waterfall of cooking oil falling on his head, only to be soaked up by another seal on the floor beneath him. By the end, the only remaining oil was soaked into Kakashi's hair and clothes. "… I'll admit, this is a new one. Impressive work, Naruto."

The blonde grins from his back-tilted chair, feet propped up on the desk again. "I do my best. Be glad it wasn't the version stocked by Yoko's litterbox."

Kakashi shudders at the thought of that. "Well then. I need to try and wash this out and get some replacement clothes. I'll meet you all on the roof in ten minutes." That said, he makes a half tiger handsign and disappears in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke stares for a moment, then shakes his head. And pushes himself up. "Let's go then. By the way, Naruto, can you make a version of that with a more flammable oil?"

His first response is one of Naruto's widest grins. "Who says I don't already have that designed? Getting good oil for that's a little tougher on my budget, though."

By the time they reach the roof, ahead of time actually, Kakashi's already cleaned and proper, seated and awaiting them as he reads his usual Icha Icha. He waves them to the seats, and only puts the book away once they've all gathered. "Well, I suppose we should start with introductions. Naruto already knows me at least a bit, so I guess I won't hold back. My name is Hatake Kakashi, former anbu, one of Konoha's foremost elite jonin, former student of the Yondaime, and veteran of the third war. I enjoy clear breezy nights, light reading to break up a mission, and miso soup. I don't care for sweet foods, can't stand the arrogant and the stupid, and despite loving to read, I've never been too fond of fantasy novels. As for dreams, well, I suppose I haven't had any specific ones in some time. I hope you brats can change that." He waves to Naruto. "You're up, blondie."

Naruto smirks and leans back as he pets the napping fox in his lap. "You already know the name, and I intend to make sure the rest of the world knows Uzumaki Naruto. I enjoy tending to my garden, training with friends to learn new tricks, and Ichiraku ramen, AKA food of the gods. I dislike people who hate what they don't understand, my former landlord, and and when my pranks and traps fail. Especially when the failure is in testing and blows up in my face. My dream, as you all know already, is to be Hokage, and protect everyone precious to me in this village." He turns to look at Sakura, and she shrugs accepts the metaphorical podium.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. I enjoy watching storms, the occasional movie marathon on days off, and subtle sweets like umeboshi. I dislike spicy foods, I'm no good at cooking, and I hate the cluelessly obsessed…" She groans and rubs her temples. ".. and helping Kurenai-sensei reign Anko in." Kakashi nearly chuckles at that. "My dream…" She hunches and stares at nothing, but there's an iron will in that stare. "My dream is to prove myself a grand, world-class kunoichi. To prove I'm better than the mess I was before."

Sasuke watches her with what appears to be mild interest, more as though she's all there is to watch, but that's almost akin to rapt attention from him. He huffs closes his eyes. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I enjoy long training sessions and meandering walks through town in the dark to wind down from them, and ripe tomatoes, especially from my clan compound's garden. I can't stand loud, frenetic music, never cared much for sweets either, and all my fangirls in town are the bane of my existence. As consequence though, one of my most cherished possessions is the collection of photos Naruto took of them all running in fear and disgust from one of Naruto's pranks." He manages to smile a bit as he recalls the photos still sitting on his desk back home. "As for dreams… not really a luxury I've had much of. Closest I have to a dream is being rid of all my fangirls for good, somehow, but that's an impossible one apparently. Besides that, I have an ambition to enact justice for my clan and end a certain sick bastard's life…"

While Naruto and Sakura are taken aback by Sasuke's grim tone at the end, Kakashi is hopeful. _Justice rather than just killing him or vengeance. Seems those therapy sessions with Inouichi's student are going well._ He has to strain not to smile at them. It's been so long since he's seen such a promising team, one he's certain he'll be proud of… given they can pass his final test. "Well, now that we're done with that… I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you all through one more test." At first, he receives a collection of confused stares, but Naruto's slowly overtaken by a predatory grin. "I'm certain you're all going to be incredible shinobi, but I need to see whether you're worthy of being _my_ genin. As such, I want yo all to meet me at training ground 3 tomorrow morning, at 9 AM. I'd suggest you all avoid breakfast. You won't want to just lose it all once the test starts…" He almost breaks into a maniacal laugh, but quickly realizes that would be too much, and completely ruin the surprise. For now, he leaves them with a simple shunshin, disappearing without a trace and a faint ring of smoke and dancing leaves in his wake.

Naruto pushes himself to his feet and stretches. "So… You guys wanna celebrate with some Ichiraku's?"

"Hn…" Sasuke pushes himself up with just his knees and keeps his hands in his pockets. "I dunno. Kinda feelin barbecue, actually."

Sakura nearly leaps from her seat. "Oh, that actually sounds really good right now. That place near the Yamanakas' shop, right?"

"Yeah, I could go for that." Naruto chuckles and reaches back to pet Yoko. "How 'bout it, kit?" She yips in agreement and licks his hand. "Alright, let's move!"  
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* * *

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That night finds Naruto seated in Iruka's- now his- livingroom, slowly sinking into the couch as he pets the fox curled up in his lap. Iruka sits across from him, reading an old, faded book with such a broken spine that he's clearly read it a hundred times. As he finishes another chapter and sets it aside, he steps over and plops down next to his adoptive son. "Ya know, I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet for so long. Worried about your test tomorrow?"

Naruto tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. "Not really… worried. More of just trying to figure out the gimmick. He said he was sure we'd all be incredible, but he wants to be sure we're right to be _his_ genin. What could he mean by that?"

Iruka hums and closes his eyes, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. "Well… Kakashi's a… complicated man. He has high standards and strong enough convictions to make him a potential Hokage when Hiruzen retires."

"… What can you tell me about his genin team?"

"Hm?" Iruka peeks over to his son and takes in his steely eyes, focused on some imperceptible data floating about in his mind. "Well… I never got to meet anyone from his genin team." He sighs and crosses his arms, sinking deeper into the couch. "Both of them died during the las war. If you'd wanna know anything about them, you'd have to ask Kakashi, Gai, the Hokage, or… well, I know Rin was indirectly related to the Inuzaka clan, and close to Tsume."

Naruto nods and lets that sink in. He still doesn't know just how to deal with this, but he's one step closer to figuring it out. However the test begins will fill in the last few pieces of the puzzle, and then, it's all down to building the right trap…

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* * *

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"This is absolute bullshit." Naruto growls as he awaits their sensei, staring off into the open field as he sits atop one of the three wooden posts of training ground 3. The worn-down grass and packed dirt is surrounded by the village's usual dense forestry, and the black granite of the KIA monument stands out as a stark reminder, and Naruto's current point of interest. If Kakashi's teammates both died in action, then they're both inscribed on that stone. A reminder as he tests his own team. A way to steel his resolve in their names. Another piece of the puzzle that is the test they now await.

"We should have seen this coming after yesterday." Sakura growls as she channels chakra into a leaf, dew forming on it and gathering into a small puddle at its center. "So did either of you actually listen and not eat before he arrived?"

Sasuke grunts. "Nope. That's just stupid. Even if we lose some of it in whatever this test is gonna be, we still need the energy."

Naruto nods and pulls his legs up onto the post, crossing them and propping himself up on his knees. "Besides, that was a suggestion, not a command. How dumb does he think we are? He should know I wouldn't fall for that! And hell, after all the nasty things I've worked with for my traps and pranks, I doubt he'll be able to make me hurl with anything short of an earth-shattering gut punch."

"Sakura shudders and closes her eyes. "I-I still can't believe you could turn into that disgusting of an old man!"

He snickers and grins wildly. "I will cherish that prank for the rest of my life."

"Ditto."

"Seriously, Sasuke?!"

"Well…" All eyes fall upon Kakashi as he appears standing behind the posts a few feet to Naruto's left. "I certainly don't have to worry about you all getting familiar with each other."

Naruto chuckles darkly. "Kakashi-sensei, you of all people should know that one of the most critical parts of pranking a target is studying them and knowing how to make it personal. I take pride in stalking my targets until I can get their schedules down to a T and then turning their whole day on its head in a second."

Kakashi shivers at the thought of that. _Usually, shinobi aren't this twisted until they reach jonin. If he weren't so loyal to the village, I'd have to worry about another Orochimaru._ He coughs and forces himself back to his senses. "W-Well, let's get to the point, then." He raises a pair of bells. "Your goal for this test will be to retrieve these bells from me before this timer goes off." He sets the timer on the middle post and cranks it to an hour. Those who do will graduate. Seeing as there's only two bells, one of you will be sent back to the academy." He almost smirks at Sakura's slightly unhinged expression, but Sasuke and Naruto change that fast. Sasuke appears to hone in on those bells like a hawk. Even without his family's fabled eyes activated, he can still bore a hole into your soul with that gaze. As for Naruto, he barely manages to suppress the grin forming in the wake of slotting this last piece of the puzzle into place. _Well, shit. He's already figured it out. Let's see if he can convince the other two, then._ "Come at me with the intent to kill, or you won't lay a finger on me. The test starts… now."

His new students are gone in an instant, off to the trees and seeking potential hiding places and approaches. Kakashi can of course track them all rather easily, save for Naruto, who he needs to actually put some effort into. Little bastard's better at this than he knows. Silence soon falls for a few minutes until a change in the pattern of splashes from the stream behind him catches his attention. He turns to find nothing, but grins at the sight of a light rippling. Misdirection via a skipped pebble. He turns back to find one of Naruto's clones already approaching. He continues to read as his left hand is occupied by Naruto's eclectic combos, first blocking an upwards left hook into his ribs, then an attempted sweep kick at his ankles which he easily steps away from. He ends up stepping back directly into a very wet Yoko, who he catches with a foot beneath her ribs and flings her into Naruto. The clone catches her and replaces himself with a log rigged with a smoke bomb, leaving Kakashi alone in the field. "Huh… not bad so far. So what about the other two?" He dodges a series of shuriken that fly from the woods and pauses as he spots the glint of a few far smaller projectiles among them. He slips between the senbon and chuckles. "Nice trick, and decent aim at that range, but not fast nor numerous enough to catch me."

He ducks to the left in time to avoid a few shuriken thrown by Sasuke as he approaches from the bushes. This directs Kakashi to duck low and towards Sasuke's incoming right knee. He knows all too well that Sasuke's left hand is also reaching for the bells in the process, his right hand for the top of his head. _Decent, but- shit!_ He pivots to the right on his right foot to escape the range of all three strikes, grabbing Sasuke by the back of his shirt and throwing him across the clearing. "Clever little bastard." His eye narrows and focuses on the faintest aura of static around Sasuke. "You upgraded an academy D rank jutsu for parasite killing into a C rank taijutsu enhancement. So what do you call this?"

Sasuke chuckles and shifts back into a basic taijutsu stance, low and fingers spread. "It's called Raiton: Mahiken. Best you learn to respect it!" He rushes in and swings in a flurry of swift jabs, forcing Kakashi to step back and avoid contact at all costs, lest he be stunned by it.

 _They're all pretty good… but I get the feeling they're all just testing the waters yet. I haven't seen even half their tricks yet._ He leaps back into the bushes and completely disappears from view as Sasuke chases him in. He struggles to track Kakashi down for several moments until a hand grips his ankle and drags him under up to his head. Kakashi then emerges from the ground in front of him with no noticeably displaced soil. He brushes a bit of dirt off himself and smiles down at his student. "A bit overconfident yet. Never believe you have the upper hand just because an opponent is avoiding you." He turns and walks off. "Well, I'm off to find the pinkette. I'll come dig you up later, if Naruto doesn't get you first."

Halfway across the training ground, Sakura kneels on a branch around a third of the way up a particularly large tree, among the leaves, to the point she can barely see out from between them. She focuses on sounds, awaiting footsteps and hidden with a genjutsu that makes her appear as nothing more than the leaves she's among. Of course, she doesn't hear Kakashi approach… but he also is having a bit of difficulty finding her. _She's good. Kurenai taught her well. I can feel her general presence here, but there's no visible sign, and she's near silent. I can hear her breathing, and smell her shampoo, but visibly she's practically gone. Well, let's see if she's as good at countering genjutsu as making them._ He takes a moment to shift through handsigns and cast a radial genjutsu. Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu.

Sakura freezes as she witnesses the wind blowing and leaves twirling. Moments later, she watches as Sasuke stumbles from the trees below and barely into view, several kunai sticking out of him. At this distance the details of his injuries are difficult to make out, but the lack of an arm and the amount of blood cascading from him paints enough of a picture even then. "D-Damnit… why didn't I have… backup?.. My team should have prevented this!"

She stares for a few moments, shivering and closing her eyes to steel herself, but with a quick half tiger sign and a pulse of chakra, she dispels it. "Laying it on a little thick, sensei… Good thing Kurenai-shishou introduced me to that one. One of her favorites..." By then, Kakashi is gone, and satisfied with the results. Now if only they could come together and complete their task. He almost expected otherwise, until he heard two sets of footsteps through the trees headed Sakura's way.

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Kakashi once again stands in the middle of the clearing by the three posts, reading his Icha Icha as he waits for whatever strategy there may be to begin. He felt something underground a short time ago, and that certainly intrigued him, then again, there's two earth users on the team. He tried not to pay too much attention, wanting to be surprised. The start of their combo didn't do much to impress, but that may be for the best. Sasuke approaches from the tree line with his Mahiken active, going for a more rapid and spastic series of strikes that leave many openings, but little opportunity for someone unarmed as Kakashi is, unless he wanted to be shocked. It's easy enough for Kakashi to dodge, until he catches sight of two sets of projectiles from opposite peripherals. Naruto and Sakura have aimed from the trees to assault him from both sides while Sasuke takes the front, giving him only the option to retreat. If he weren't holding back for his students' sake, he would have used his own lightning affinity to counter Sasuke, catch most of the projectiles and throw them back, and they'd all be dead in seconds. Of course, that's elite jonin level combat. For genin, they've already impressed him. For now, he'll see this strategy through.

As they lead him, the trajectory of the projectiles changes consistently, showing that they're both throwing from the trees. He starts to question how there could be so many weapons- until he notices that some of them are popping on impact, with a few real ones dispersed between. Naruto's clones must have produced them. He'll have to remember to teach the boy the Shuriken Kage Bunshin later. Eventually, they guide him to the area he'd felt them tunneling towards earlier. He tracks Sasuke's moves and the projectiles well enough to take a look back and see what he's being led into. Several patches of dirt have been shifted, but sadly, a few corners of surprisingly large paper tags are sticking out and visible. They wouldn't have access to exploding tags yet, and Naruto would know not to resort to something so deadly. Considering the wide spread of them, they probably looked to make a wide enough area to ensure he'd hit one, meaning they must be contact activated or requiring rather than triggered or radial. Deciding not to make things too easy for them, seeing as they slipped up by making the trap so visible, he makes sure to leap back and land in one of the spaces between them.

And that proves to be a potentially fatal mistake. The ground around him shimmers as Sasuke leaps back. The tags seem to shift to new locations, but Kakashi knows quite well now that the original placement was an illusion. Sakura mutters from the trees. "Magen: Koko ni Aruzu no Jutsu: Successful." With the false surroundings of the genjutsu dropped, Kakashi realizes he's directly landed on a large seal, and three smaller ones surround it.

 _Ooooh. Make the false surroundings appear as believable as possible. Not bad at all. So what are these seals?_ He attempts to jump from them, but the three outer seals trigger, and he feels gravity grow just a bit stronger there, keeping him from jumping as quickly or as easily, and giving the main seal time to catch him. A cyclone emerges from it beneath him, slowly pushing him into the air, but the gravity seals keep him from shifting laterally, only vertically in the wind. As he takes in his students stepping out to admire their work, he notices Sasuke competing a tiger handsign. _Holy shit, they actually produced a lethal combo already._ Kakashi is consumed in a flaming tornado, only to pop in a cloud of smoke and drop a pair of now slightly singed bells.

Naruto deactivates the seals and steps up to grab them, while Sakura stares bewildered at the scorched ground. "Wow, we actually beat his clone."

Sasuke grunts and crosses his arms. "He was holding back."

Naruto chuckles as he cleans up the remains of his seals. "Yeah, I'm sure he just wanted to see what we cooked up for him. Right, sensei?" He stands and turns to stare at the real Kakashi now standing near the three posts.

"Not bad, kids. You made a trap. You beat my clone. You got the bells. Although, what was Yoko's role in that combo?"

Naruto chuckles nervously and pets the kit's head, poking out from his partly zipped hoodie, beneath his chin. "She's not much of a direct combatant. Her contribution was to bury the glitter bombs."

"Glitter bo-?" Glitter bursts from shallow earth beneath the posts, showering Kakashi in it and leaving the scarecrow looking quite fabulous.

Two minutes later, he, Sakura, and Sasuke are walking off and waving back to Naruto as he remains tied to the pole with Yoko ignorantly napping in his jacket with her tongue sticking out. "I expect you at training at 8 tomorrow morning, Naruto! Good luck getting out of those ropes! I'll send Iruka in case you don't in two hours or so!" Naruto would reply with a rant that would make a sailor blush, but Kakashi saw fit to gag the blonde as well, treating himself and his other two students to the wonderful sight of Naruto flailing his head and legs about in a desperate attempt to tell them off in whatever nonverbal manner he can.  
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A.N.: Sorry this took so long! A lot of personal things came up in my life to slow it down. Family moving, blindsided by some of my professors changing their schedules for some of my classes, assignments being generally harder than I expected, and trying to read more rather than just writing so much. Started on Wizard's First Rule, and loving it so far. That, and this chapter just kept kicking my ass with block after block, but I powered through it and brought you this extra-large chapter! I hope you all enjoy it, and be sure to review, share, and don't be afraid to check out my other fic as well! So, here's to me picking up the pace in here now that I'm getting back into the swing of things and don't have so much personal BS getting in the way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Demons of Past, Present, and Future**

Naruto wakes in an eerily familiar and dimly lit sewer. Unlike what you'd expect of a sewer, there's no notable smell, besides maybe the smell of fox and hints of ramen broth. It takes a few moments of peeking around and realizing he's already standing to recall where this is. "Oh… ok, guess Kyuubi wants to talk again." He steps along through his mindscape with his hands behind his head, peeking at the walls and trying to assess the structure. "Someday, I'm gonna have to come in here and explore more. Ugh. I'm gonna have to get a lot better at meditating." Reaching the seal chamber, he steps across the titanic room and towards the bars. The distance closes at a surprising rate, his mindscape adjusting to ease the process, yet when he peeks back, the room is once again so long he can't see the entrance. Returning his gaze to the bars, he almost jumps at the sight of the fox's apartment sized eyes string him down.

"Took you long enough, brat." The fox lowers himself to rest his head on crossed paws. "So, you wanted to interrogate me. How about you provide something I want first?"

".. That would depend..." Naruto crosses his arms and locks eyes on the fox, nearly starting a staring contest. "on what it is you want."

"Something better than this damned sewer." He growls and sits upright. "There's nothing here, and all I can do is lay in this cramped, wet cage forever!"

Naruto cringes and nods. "Yeah... good point. Ok, um…" He starts to turn and look over the room. After a few moments of focus, the sides of the chamber and several spots in the floor become grated, and the water starts to drain away. With a bit more focus, he manages to completely dry it. Water continues to flow, but through the space beneath the grates on the sides. With another few waves of his arms, a titanic slab covered in one of Naruto's recent theorized seals floats down. This seal happens to be a modified gravity seal that causes the effected object to hover instead. The side of the slab facing the cage then lights up and displays what Naruto's seeing. Currently, the fox can only see himself and the room still. As a final touch, for now, a soft red mass begins to grow from between the tiles of the cage's floor, rapidly inflating and merging together like dough, until the titanic demon is slightly elevated atop a very plush pillow that takes up almost the entire floor of his cage.

The fox peeks about for a moment as his tails sway gently. "… Not bad. It would take much more mental discipline than you have to make any more of a difference than this. For a first try, this is satisfactory." Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to get more comfortable, he sighs in relief and smiles. "Very well. Ask away."

Naruto sighs in relief and collapses onto his back for a moment, trying to think of wat to ask. He's wanted to grill this demon for information for so long, but now that he can, nothing's coming to mind. Eventually, a thought resurfaces. "… Why did you attack Konoha?"

"… You aren't ready to hear that, and don't deserve it yet. Ask something simpler."

The blonde huffs and falls silent for a few more moments. "…. Ok. Do you know of any other jinchuuriki out there? Ones that'd still be around, probably?"

"Hmm… actually, I can think of four. First would be the Sanbi's jailor. Yagura, the Mizukage. I wouldn't consider him a jinchuukri to look up to. He's certainly good at using my sibling's power, but that twisted fool started the Bloodline Purges. Honestly, I'm all for finding a good reason to exterminate a portion of the human populace, but targeting bloodline wielders out of fear and ignorance is quite possibly the worst reason I've ever heard. I'd take 'because I felt like it' over that."

Naruto can only manage to stare blankly at that. It confirmed a lot of things. Firstly, a jinchuuriki has become a kage before. Second, they set a terrible precedent that'll give him some trouble. Third, the biju consider each other siblings. Lastly, the fox apparently has a moral compass, but a strong disposition towards causing general chaos. "Um… o-ok. Go on."

"Alright. Next jinchuuriki would be the Yonbi. His container I believe is an old man in Iwa named Roshi. He was a big player in the last two wars. His Yoton jutsu are truly something to fear. Even I wouldn't take them lightly. Next is his comrade Han, the Gobi's container. I know for certain that your damnable Yondaime went against him and the next on my list during the last war. Han's steam jutsu are almost as bad as the old monkey's Yoton, but more versatile."

Naruto scratches his head as he takes in these jutsu elements. "Heh… two Iwa jinchuuriki with fire in their elements. That must annoy them a bit."

"Probably." The fox chuckles and closes his eyes. "And the last… Killer Bee of Kumo. I have no idea what the Hachibi sees in him, but the union of their power is perfect. He can use my sibling's power flawlessly, and is most certainly one of the most powerful and dangerous men on this planet at this moment. He could take on any of the standing kage and fight them to a standstill at the very least, and probably kill most of them."

Silence falls as Naruto lets that sink in. If there's already jinchuuriki that powerful out there in foreign nations, he needs to step his game up. "… How do I learn to use your power?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi sits up and stares down his jailor. "That's quite a bold question. But I can see why you would ask. You may be ready soon enough, but you'll need to get better at meditating first, and a bit stronger on your own. Only then will you be ready to channel a small portion of my chakra without it becoming a threat to your health. For now, though, it's almost time for you to wake. You best ask a much quicker, simpler question before you go."

"Ok, well… why are you helping me? You've made it pretty clear you don't like humanity much. And I'm keeping you trapped here just by living."

The Kyuubi snorts. "Right on all accounts. But, I both enjoy and hate humanity. Your ingenuity and capability are things I respect. Your arrogance and reliance on fear as a base instinct, I hate. You personally? You fear only that which is logical to fear, you don't deny the facts, and you didn't personally put me here. You don't even have the key to this seal. I have no reason to hate you. As for helping you, well…" He grins. "I enjoy chaos. What better formula for that is there than a hyperactive young man with the power of the king of demons, the talent and creativity to trap anyone and anything, and happens to love explosions? A child after my own blackened heart."

Naruto shivers for a moment and nods. "When you put it that way, I'm almost afraid of myself. Well, it was a nice chat. I'll work more on meditation and see if I can get in here sooner next time. And I'll try and talk to some Yamanakas about mindscape management!" He turns and walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets and fading from the fox's view as he wakes.

In those first few moments of stillness and silence before he sees Naruto's bedroom through the screen the young man had set up, he sighs and lays back down. "… I still hate both your parents with a passion… and yet you've managed to keep me from hating you." He huffs and closes his eyes. "… Father… I think you would like this one."

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Hours later, all eyes on the main stretch of Konoha turn towards Team 7. Normally, this would just be due to the odd combination of the village pariah and his fox, the rookie of the year, and pink hair that stands out as much as Naruto's old jumpsuit. Today, they happen to be staring more at what the blonde is carrying. In his right hand is a wooden cage marked with seals and containing an all too familiar feline in a red bow, baked out of her mind on catnip. Tora's escapades through Konoha have become quite the legend over the years. The number of teams who've fought and struggled to capture her are too numerous to count. She's raised hell in the Inuzaka compound a few times and come out without a scratch. It makes one wonder if she were related to demon. Oddly enough, Naruto would later hear from the Kyuubi that she was indeed his grandniece, a grandchild of the Nibi.

What few of them would suspect just yet is that Naruto was the one to design the cage she's now in. Not twenty minutes ago, it was unfolded into a flat hinged structure hidden beneath the dirt. The moment Tora fell for the catnip after being chased by Yoko for about an hour, it snapped shut and locked in place, the sides drawn together by seals rapidly retracting steel wire. Now Tora could be carried to the tower amicably and at a safe distance to avoid being scratched into oblivion.

Reactions were in a wide array. Some maintained their disgust towards Naruto and lumped his entire team into it. Many thought the Uchiha prodigy must have made that trap and caught the demon cat themselves. The few shinobi who witnessed it were often a mixture of jealous and desiring to kill the furry bastard before it could escape again. The best reaction by far though, was the Hokage's jaw nearly dropping as Naruto presented the caged animal to her current owner, the Fire Daimyo's wife, Madame Shijimi. "Here you go, mam. Try not to let her out of the cage until you're back home. The catnip should keep her calm for a while, that batch is some of the strongest I could get my hands on." He peeks down to find her purring in the cage, flopped onto her side and staring at nothing. "This kitty's flyin' higher than the moon right now."

Madame Shijimi tenderly takes the cage from Naruto's care and stares into it. "Oh… dear me. I suppose I'll have to find a good source of catnip for her for back at home. I never thought she could be so docile." She kneels down to Naruto's level, her wavy brunette locks framing her plump face and gentle smile. "Thank you, dear shinobi. If she gets away again, I may have to ask for you personally."

Naruto has to force himself to keep up a clearly very fake smile. "Oh, you're too kind. Now, it's best you return to the capital quickly so you can release her from that cage. Keep her in there until you're inside the palace."

"Very well…" She sighs and uprights herself to leave, but looks to the Hokage on her way out. "It was good seeing you again, Hiruzen. Do take care of yourself, and try to find a new successor before you keel over behind that desk!"

Naruto snorts once she's out of the room. "Already found them, I'm right here. So!" He steps up towards the desk and cracks his knuckles. "That one was a bit too easy this time. Don't ya think you should give us something more worth our time?"

"Um…" Sakura bites her lip and averts her gaze. "… Yeah, he's kinda right, Hokage-sama. We've all been getting bored with all these D ranks."

"Hn."

"Ya see?" Naruto gestures back to Sasuke with both open hands. "We barely managed to get the emo out of his shell, and now he's so bored he's reverting!"

"You just earned yourself a surprise sparring match. With my Mahiken active."

"Shit."

Hiruzen coughs and taps the ash out of his pipe. _Dear Kami, these three are already reminding me almost too much of my students as genin brats at their worst._ He sighs and sets the pipe down. "Very well. Kakashi, are you in agreement?"

Kakashi slumps and nods. "To be quite frank, Hokage-sama… these three have been complaining about D ranks since day one and working well above expectations. At first, I thought watching them suffer through D ranks like I had would be fun. For a little while, it was." He tries his best to ignore the death glares he gets from his students. He almost flinches when Sasuke's hand sparks. "It stopped being fun about two months ago. They're more than ready for a C rank."

Hiruzen closes his eyes and smirks. "I was waiting to hear that. Well, I have just the client in mind." He reaches over to a seal on his desk to signal his secretary. She steps in a moment later. "Please fetch Tazuna for us and bring him here." She nods and steps back out in silence. As she leaves, his eyes dart to Kakashi and meet his for just a moment, alerting him to pay close attention.

Kakashi's eyes barely narrow. _Really, Hokage-sama? Throwing them into the fire with a mission you suspect is falsely labeled? But why?_

As they wait, Naruto is rambling endlessly about who this Tazuna could be, what kind of profile he'll have, and the potential extravagance of this mission. "Oh, what prepared seals should I bring? Which tools should I have on hand? How many exploding tags?!" Kakashi pales at the thought of how many a boy like Naruto would consider 'enough'.

He's cut off as the smell of alcohol hits him and he stalls, staring at the door as a drunken man in a brown tunic and straw hat wanders in, skin tanned and weathered to leather, decorated with a very unkempt and grayed beard and wide nose. He finishes another swig of sake and stares down to the trio of genin. "Are you serious? These brats are guarding me? They probably couldn't even fight a raccoon, let alone a bandit."

Naruto stares blankly, then peeks to his teammates, whose distaste for their charge's disrespect is clear as day. "I think we should give him our credentials." They both nod and grin almost sadistically. Naruto replaces himself with the lamp behind Tazuna and places a finger to Tazuna's spine. Sasuke leaps up and lands on the ceiling, reaching a hand out and holding two sparking fingers towards him. Sakura then draws a few senbon and throws them at his feet, landing harmlessly between his toes and into the leather of his sandals.

".. Point taken." Tazuna gulps and slowly lowers his bottle, looking up to Sasuke as his hair starts to rise in response to the static charge by his head. "Can you stop that please? My hair is bad enough as it is."

Sasuke nods and leaps back to exactly where he'd been, while Naruto replaces himself with the lamp again to return, and Sakura… actually fades from view and reappears where she'd been. The senbon are gone too. Kakashi can't help but muse at the brilliance of that. Actually throwing those at the client, even their feet, would have been too dangerous, especially for a genin. She's not that good yet, but a genjutsu can be used to very convincingly fake it.

Hiruzen sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Team 7, this is Tazuna, an architect from Nami no Kuni. He needs an escort back to his home there so he may continue construction on a bridge leading to the mainland."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin as he thinks, a gesture Kakashi quickly realizes he's picked up from his adoptive father. Little does he know, Minato often did the same. "Simple enough." Naruto nods and peeks up to Tazuna. "When would you like to leave?"

"Oh, um…" Tazuna stares at the young man for a moment. Something in his blue eyes speaks of mischief and pain on levels he could barely fathom. "T-Tomorrow morning, around nine, preferably."

Naruto nods and looks to his teammates. "I'll have some seals to pawn off on you guys tomorrow when we leave. Dad's not gonna like how much coffee my clones go through tonight, but the results will be worth it."

Hiruzen grins and waves them off. "Go and prepare then, children. Tazuna, I assure you, you're in good hands. Go prepare and rest for the night." All three genin take that as their cue to leave, as does Tazuna. Kakashi and the old Kage remain. Hiruzen looks to Kakashi as his grin fades and softens into something softer. "Jiraiya will be there. I may send a clone as well. Naruto's learning fast, Kakashi, and the biggest thing he's learned is the importance and value of a secret. He'll understand, and he'll know to keep silent. More so… I think finding out now, and finding out he's already naturally on something so similar to his father's path, will inspire and motivate him further. This is a perfect opportunity to test his resolve. Just as well, it'll test Sasuke's willingness to work with Naruto instead of focusing on any gap there may be between them, and expose Sakura to some of the most difficult aspects of shinobi life. That girl may be good with illusions, but she seems to have one of her own regarding shinobi life still. We need to break that spell and be certain she has the strength to progress."

Kakashi nods and averts his gaze, staring out the window as he watches his students wandering down the street and splitting up. "… It's not like you to take a gamble like this. You usually play things much safer. Why gamble now?"

Silence falls as Hiruzen internally debates on how to answer. "… those three… I know you see everything I do in them. But I also see more. You see your own team. I see my students. There's so much potential. But potential like that came at odd costs. You know how they all ended up. Jiraiya lost hope. Orochimaru let his craving for power turn him into a monster. Tsunade's bright future was cut short by losses she wasn't prepared for. And your team…"

"… Right… we need to make sure they don't turn out like we did. That I don't become another you. That they don't become another of my team, or yours. We can't let history repeat itself. That requires a few gambles to pull off…" He turns and walks to the door, hands deep in his pockets. "… I'll follow your lead on this, then."

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"Nami, huh?" Iruka passes Naruto a plate of the pork cutlets he'd prepared for dinner, along with some risotto and, much to Naruto's chagrin, some asparagus. "I was there once, when I was younger. Decent place from what I recall. Be sure to pick up a few souvenirs if ya can, with some of your hunting money."

Naruto nods and digs in, trying to get the asparagus out of the way quickly. "I'll try, depends on how long Kakashi wants us to stick around there, really." He takes a moment when he thinks Iruka isn't looking to drop a piece of asparagus down to Yoko. She digs into it eagerly, as it's buttered and salted perfectly. "Oh, and um… I'll be buying some extra coffee for ya to replace what my clones are going through tonight."

Iruka pauses and peeks up to Naruto from his plate. "Your clones are pulling another all-nighter preparing seals for tomorrow, aren't they?"

"Yeah, already working on it in my room. I'll get more of em on it soon."

Iruka sighs and hangs his head. "Of course. Well, at least you're planning ahead. Any seals in particular?"

"Well, there is one." He grins. "I figured, what rules say an object sealed in the scroll has to be unsealed from the same place? So I'm using an entire scroll, putting objects in on one end, having it contained in the middle, and the moment it's detected arriving from one end, it's unsealed on the opposite end."

Iruka pauses as he considers the possibilities of that. "Huh… that's quite the trick. And it only has to conform to the shape of the scroll, which…" He pauses and slowly turns to stare at his adopted son. "… which can be folded around corners and walls. Dear god, that's brilliant."

Naruto's evil laughter echoes through the house in various stages and volumes throughout the night. At one point, his clones began a maniacal chorus at around 3am, up until Iruka dispelled them all. Naruto's dreams were then graced with evil laughter from the Kyuubi as he got to witness the incoming memories.

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Deep in the woods of Nami no Kuni, a man in a bandage mask up to just beneath his eyes pulls the bandages down just enough to expose his lips and tilt back a swig of sake. "This arrogant midget's pissing me off more and more every day." He nearly tosses the bottle, but pauses as the forest's temperature drops a bit. He peeks to his subordinate seated across from him, meditative, but slowly freezing the space around them.

"Zabuza-sama. What has he done this time?"

Zabuza grunts and sets the bottle down. "Bastard thought I wouldn't find out he was undercutting me and hiring someone else who'd do the job cheaper if he can manage to do it faster. Apparently, he got word from one of his company's executives in Hi no Kuni that Tazuna was spotted on his way to Konoha. He'll have an escort. I doubt I'd have trouble killing whoever's sent, but Gato apparently thought it necessary to double dip on mercenaries and hire some no-name brat who abandoned the tree-huggers years ago. A little shit who thinks he's great just because he's got a special sword. Jackass doesn't even know how the hell to use it!"

Haku sighs. There's three things in particular that always piss her master off. First, is anything involving Yagura. The failed coup and trying to raise funds to try again has left everything connected to him somehow and keeps him in an almost perpetually foul mood. Second would be customers who don't get what they're buying and try to play financial games with shinobi out of arrogance. Lastly would be people who don't take the skill he built his entire profession on seriously. All three of those together has him in a foul enough mood for Haku to detect his killing intent simmering beneath the surface at all times now.

It's interesting, though. Haku had met Aoi once before. His arrogance was truly something to behold, nearly as much so as that blade he stole…

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A.N.: Yes, I'm already including a filler character. This is a filler character I actually happen to like and I believe the general Naruto fandom tends to agree that he's a good filler villain. Now let's see what happens when he butts heads with everyone's favorite part 1 villain! As for what else is to come, I'm sure you can all see some significant changes to skill sets on the way, but I've been spending a LOT of time planning traps and seals for Naruto. The evil laughter he and his clones fell into was my own. Just so you know what kind of absurdity to expect. So, get ready for a not-so-boring and repetitive Wave mission full of new twists, new characters, and new solutions. We'll plow through Wave and into the Chuunin Exams by the end of this summer!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **A Scarecrow, a Drunk, and Three Kids Walk into a Puddle…**

"-so then I took the ten skunks I'd caught in my traps that week and knocked them out, then set them loose in half the grocers in town!"

Raucous laughter bellows from the slightly drunken and aged architect, peeking back to the troublesome blonde with the widest grin he'd managed in weeks. "Brat, that has to be one of the best damn revenge pranks I've ever heard! And believe me, I work construction, I've seen some shit go down on the job!" He barks out another laugh and takes a heavy swig. "You ever see what happens when bored construction lackeys have a passed-out coworker and a surplus of cement?"

Naruto's eyes nearly light up. "I have yet to witness this majesty, but damn do I want to."

Kakashi groans and covers his face for a moment. "You're going to learn to use cement as a jutsu trap now, aren't you?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto scratches his chin as he thinks over the application. "Well… depends on the elements required. I have earth, and I can probably learn the minimum of water needed to pull that off if I really push it, but… I'm not sure about what else would be involved."

Kakashi pauses as he watches Naruto think. It's such a marvel to hm, watching him set himself to solving a problem like this. So much like his father. It's far from a conventional puzzle, either, yet he still views the pieces and seeks an abstract solution to an abstract issue. He can nearly see from the twitches in his face that he's already conceptualized the elements as the largest pieces of the puzzle but isn't certain if it's set with those two or needs another. Eventually, he decides to pitch in on the issue. "As best I know, cement based jutsu tend to require a combination of earth, water, and fire. It's a pretty abstract combination, and the only time I've ever seen anyone use it…" He pauses and looks to the sky. "Well, last time was someone of considerable rapport from Iwa. I believe he was the Tsuchikage's son, Kitsuchi."

Naruto whistles. "Damn. Well, I'll have to settle for making a seal with that function then. Maybe seal some wet cement, and it'll be preserved and come back out still wet? Or maybe focus on earth and wind to produce aerated soil that acts like quicksand?"

Sakura blanches at the thought of that. "Naruto, has everyone ever told you your mind is scary?"

"Dad, Kakashi-sensei, Hokage-jiji, several anbu, Yoko, and Shika."

"Of course you had an answer for that."

Sasuke blurts out from the back. "How fast can your current explosive stock launch Tora from a 10-inch-wide canon?"

"THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!"

Kakashi side-eyes his demented student. "How many exploding tags did you make?"

"Are we talkin normal ones, or specialty?"

Kakashi groans and slouches. "You're gonna make me the first acting shinobi to die of a heart attack." He nearly uprights himself at the sight of a puddle up ahead, but acts natural as he can manage whilst paying close attention to his students. Sakura calms down surprisingly fast from the horrors of Naruto's mind and positions herself closer to Tazuna rather slowly. Sasuke remains at the back, eyes steeled and attentive. Naruto shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket to hide his handsign, and there's a light, almost imperceptible puff of smoke in the front of his jacket, where Yoko had been hiding.

Soon after they pass the puddle, two cloaked shinobi in facemasks and wearing a pair of bladed gauntlets connected by a bladed chain emerge from the puddle and rush them from behind.

The moment after they step out, a subterranean exploding tag goes off behind them and blasts them into the air. They manage to upright themselves and throw kunai from the air, but the set of people they throw them at fade from view. By the time they've landed, Sasuke is roundhousing them both in the head from behind, then grabbing their backs and releasing a light shock through the water still soaking them thanks to their choice of camouflage jutsu. They both fight through the shocks and glare back to Sasuke before bursting into water. As the water clones drop, Sasuke leaps back towards the troop, still standing back behind where the puddle had been before Naruto's trap went off. Pulling a kunai from his pouch, he peeks about to assess where they may attack from next. Yoko pops from the ground beside Naruto and yaps towards the southeast. On cue, Sakura unloads a handful of senbon that way, and Naruto backs it up with a kunai. At first, the twin assassins dodge them with ease, but the kunai unleashes another explosion and almost splits them up, without having an attached tag. The seal was carved onto the metal. The tension of their chain keeps them together and wrenches both their arms as it brings them to an abrupt halt mid-air. Naruto's laughter can be clearly heard from their failed hiding spot in the woods. "You heard me talkin' shit about my specialty tags!"

"Damnit, these kids are making fools of us!" One of the twins struggles to his feet, but his brother throws down a smoke bomb and pulls him back.

"Didn't you fucking see who their sensei is? That was Hatake Kakashi! We need to get the hell out of here and give Zabuza our intel, and he'll have a better shot at this." His brother knows better to argue, considering who they're up against. They retreat in silence, leaving Team 7 and Tazuna to gather their thoughts and address the elephant in the room.

Kakashi slowly turns to stare down their client, followed by his students. "Just bandits, huh? So then, Tazuna… why were the Demon Twins after you specifically when they attacked Sakura's illusion?"

"O-oh, um… heheh…" Tazuna slowly raises his hands and backs himself into a tree. "I-I've got no idea what that was about, I s-swear!" The four shinobi and their loyal fox stare him down with increasingly potent glares and even a small burst of killing intent from Kakashi by the time he cracks. "O-Ok, ok! It's Gato, the shipping mogul! He's been bleeding my country dry for years, and my bridge is the only thing that's gonna break his hold on us! If I don't finish this bridge, my people are gonna starve to death under Gato's watch, and he'll drag the survivors into his human trafficking ring!"

Silence falls as the stakes sink in. Kakashi slowly uprights himself and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Ugh… You've been in deep for a while now, and you've gotten us to wade in after you. Well…" He sighs and closes his eyes. "technically, we're no longer obligated to complete this mission, as you've misinformed us and had it labeled as two ranks below what it now clearly is. We have the right to turn around and head back home-"

Kakashi pauses as he feels Naruto slap a tag onto his back. He can't be sure what this one's meant to do. "No. Hell no. Sensei, you heard what the man said. If you turn this team around now, I'll set off this modified glitter bomb tag on your back. I call it the glitter geyser. It won't stop for about an hour, and I have dozens of others to plaster all over your apartment."

Sasuke stammers for a moment as his eye twitches at the sheer absurdity of what Naruto's just done. "O-Ok, I'm with the dobe here on continuing the mission, but... what the hell?"

"Yeah… Naruto?" Sakura turns to her teammate and cracks her knuckles. "Why did you think it's a good idea to threaten our sensei?"

He gives her a nearly blank stare, brows slightly raised as though to say he expected this to be obvious. "It's a threat of a prank, not harm. No rules against that."

"… Oh. Why the hell do so many of your traps use glitter, though?"

"Are you kidding?!" He throws his arms into the air, signaling the start of yet another rant that fuses brilliance and absurdity in equal measure. "Glitter is the best prank material ever! It's physically harmless, the stuff made from seaweed is healthy and biodegradable, but it gets everywhere and becomes a sparkly long-term annoyance you just can't ignore! And any trap I can rig with glitter, I cold just as easily rig with dozens of smaller scale explosives or poison! And don't even get me started on the applications of the geyser sty-"

Kakashi clears his throat. "As I was about to say…" Annoyance bleeds through his nearly clenched teeth. "I know my students would protest, and morally, I can't bring myself to turn around either. So please, remove the tag from my back, and I'll call in for backup."

Tazuna drops to sit beneath the tree with an exasperated sigh, nearly collapsing. "Thank Susanoo. My people still have a chance…" He buries his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, emotional exhaustion leaving him looking further aged than his wrinkles ever could.

Naruto peels the tag off and slips it back into his hoodie pockets. "Don't thank us yet, Tazuna. We've still got a lot to do. So, sensei, how're we calling in backup? You got one of those messenger hawk scrolls?"

Kakashi shakes his head and shifts through a few handsigns. "I've got something better. Kuchiyose no jutsu!" He kneels and slams his hand on the ground, producing a plume of smoke. Sitting before him now is a ninken with light brown fur and white markings, with very spiked fur sweeping to the front of his head. The back of his open blue vest displays a series of hiragana forming a scarecrow face, topped with a headband worn around his neck. "Urushi, good to see you. I've got a task for you that'll take a bit of sprinting and a bit of stealth. Up for the job?"

The sharp-featured ninken grins and wags his tail. "Aw, ya shouldn't have. Yeah, I'm game. So, what's the deal- hm?" He turns to face Yoko as she approaches and yips away in the Inuzaka clan's tongue. He soon returns with a series of growls and yaps. This exchange continues as Kakashi writes the mission details and request into a scroll. Before he's done, Naruto's even joined their conversation.

"Uru, do you really need to set my girl up on a date in front of me? Disrespectful, man." He just receives a couple of yaps and barks in return from both of them. "Ok, point taken."

Kakashi rolls his eyes and secures the scroll into a pocket inside Urushi's vest. "Ok, take this back to the Hokage. Don't dispel yourself until he's instructed you to. Keep an eye out for anyone trying to intercept your message, as always. Think you can manage that?"

The mutt scoffs. "You know what I can do. This'll be easy. Next time, try and summon me for a fight, alright? A lot of us are getting tired of being messengers."

"Bull doesn't mind."

"Bull's the biggest wimp among us! Why are all the biggest, toughest dogs such pansies?" He growls and turns to face back to the west and towards Kanoha. "See ya again soon, I hope!" He takes off at twice Yoko's top speed, and Naruto can already tell he's still holding back.

"Well… I guess we're set to go, then." He turns to keep walking with a grin on his face and his arms behind his head.

"Naruto…" Kakashi drones as he watches his student pass by. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you have to concern yourself with, sensei."

.

* * *

.

"Sensei…" Shikamaru sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head "Why do we have to take this C rank anyway?" He glares into the distance through the thick forests outside Konoha. About fifty meters ahead is a bandit camp that they'd been assigned to deal with. They were waiting beside a major shipping road and assaulting shipments of valuables to resell at a profit. Either they had some nukenin to bolster their strength and bravery, or they were remarkably stupid.

Asuma pulls the cigarette from his mouth but doesn't blow any smoke. "Because Kakashi's brats already got one, and I'm not letting us fall behind the lazy bastard. Besides, your strategies are more than capable of a job like this now." He looks to his left as Ino slowly rises from her slumped position against a tree nearby. "What ya got for us?"

Ino sighs and rubs her temples as she mentally sifts through it all. "Ok… There's twelve of them, lot of young punks, toying with some of their more valuable finds as prizes. Really full of themselves. One of them seems to have some training, but clearly dropped out of the academy and got pissed enough to bail. Kinda guy who thinks he's the hottest shit just because he can throw a kunai straight. I'd say one display of Chouji's jutsu, and half of them will already be cowering."

Chouji chuckles as he peeks back to her. "Which one?"

"Hmm…" She grins. "How about we test your newest addition? It's a bit flashier, sure to get their attention."

Shikamaru smirks and rises from his seat. "And set things up for me. Yeah, this won't take long. You set up a good distraction, right?"

"Yep." She stands and stretches, restoring her formerly abandoned body. "I went and screwed with them a bit before I left that bird's body. Ruined the dinner they were making."

Chouji slowly turns to her with a glare. "… You didn't."

"Don't complain, Chouji. Their stew was shit anyway, the kinda stuff you wouldn't touch if you were paid to."

"Stop bickering." Asuma growls and raises his trench knives. "Ok, kids. You know the play."

Chouji nods and prepares a few handsigns. "Scare the masses."

Ino grins almost sadistically as she prepares one of her family's signature handsigns. "Undermine the leader."

Shikamaru pulls a scroll from his pouch. "Restrain, contain, and conquer."

Asuma smirks as his students move ahead. "Pops, I can't thank you enough for giving me these kids."

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* * *

.

"Ya know… I really hate fog." Naruto's eyes narrow. "The humidity in the air messes with my ink and makes it runny. I can't make any good seals in these conditions."

"There's many more reasons for us to dislike this fog, Naruto." Kakashi puts his book away and focuses all his attention on their surroundings. "You and Sakura especially should understand that."

Sakura nods and pulls a few senbon. "Could Gato have really gotten Kiri nin on a job like this?"

"Under the current regime there?" Kakashi tilts his head and peeks back over his left shoulder. "Possibly. But, I doubt he would risk such a large organization knowing what's going on beneath his company. He'd probably go for missing nin, which Kiri currently has an abundance of."

Sasuke groans and hunches over. "Great. Well, my fire's near useless then. Lightning it is, I guess." He sighs and uprights himself. "Whatever, I need more practice with it anyway."

Naruto chuckles grimly and slowly pulls a kunai from his pouch. "No better practice than being thrown head-first into a shitstorm, right? Do or die… Kami, what am I saying? This is exactly why I use clones test all my seals."

Tazuna's starting to visibly shiver as he takes another swig of his sake, face sunken and eyes wide. A bit spills from the bottle as he lowers it, entirely due to the constant shaking of his hand. "Please don't be serious."

Kakashi grabs Tazuna and pulls him down. "DUCK!"

His students barely manage to get down in time to avoid taking a direct hit from a spinning slab of sharpened steel nearly the size of their own bodies. It swerves up into a nearby tree and embeds itself halfway up the trunk to the lower branches, soon supporting its wielder as he stands upon the hilt. The genin slowly raise their heads from nearly cowering stances to find the man towering over them to be wearing baggy striped gray pants closed at the ankles by almost cow-patterned leg warmers with a matching pair on his arms. Despite these, his chest was bared save for the leather strap meant to carry his blade upon his back via a small spring-loaded locking mechanism for the hole in the blade and a hook for the notch in it. His face is almost entirely hidden by a combination of bandages wrapped tightly from his neck to the bridge of his nose and a Kirigakure headband tilted to the right on his brow. His spiky crew-cut black hair barely sticks out above the headband.

Kakashi identifies the man instantly as he uprights himself, speaking almost casually to the attempted assassin. "The Demon of Kirigakure, Momochi Zabuza. Of course Gato would hire someone with such a record as you.

"Kakashi Hatake…" He chuckles and crosses his arms, the only evidence of his grin being a few wrinkles in his face wrap. "When the twins told me you were involved in this mission, I actually got a little excited to deal with someone of my own caliber. It's not often I get to actually fight someone instead of just slaughter them."

"Does tend to be a problem when you get to our level, doesn't it? If you revel in a fight that much, anyway, but I do know a few people like that back home." He sighs and reaches for his headband. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to turn around and ignore this job, would you?"

"No can do." Zabuza tilts his head and elicits a series of pops and snaps form his neck. "That'd be terrible for business." He starts bolting through handsigns. "So let's get this over with quickly!" Kakashi pushes up his headband and his sharingan eye spins to life, pupil contracting as the three tomoe expand. The fog thickens and Tazuna is surrounded by his four guards.

Naruto grits his teeth and frantically peeks around. "Visibility's cut to about ten feet. At shinobi speeds, that's far from enough for me to react. Sasuke?"

"I've got nothing. Fire's weakened in these conditions, I have no distance lighting jutsu yet, and trying taijutsu with a guy who can wield a sword that size so easily is suicide."

"Cool it, boys. There's something off about this mist." Sakura closes her eyes. "This chakra feels… malicious. He's mixed killing intent into the mist to cause paranoia, anxiety, and panic. The less clearly we think, the harder it'll be to counter."

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "Good work, Sakura. Focus less on what you can't do, stick to what you can. Naruto?"

The blonde falls silent for a moment, but a sickeningly wide grin slowly spreads on his face. If Zabuza could see it through the mist, he would have reason to be afraid. A moment after, puffs of smoke reveal four more Narutos surrounding the crew and spitting streams of mud onto the ground around them. Walls of stone rise from them and surround the party, followed by another stream being spit onto the top of the walls to close them off beneath a ceiling.

Zabuza sighs and shakes his head. "No target speech this time, huh? Pity... I always enjoy watching them shake after it." He reels back his blade and swings in at half the height of the wall. A Doton: Doryūheki is too soft for his blade, especially coming from a rookie genin.

Of course, Naruto was banking on that. The blade stops halfway through, and as he attempts to tug it free and retreat, something within the stone chamber explodes, breaking his blade in half and battering him with chunks of stone. He immediately falls apart and splashes into a few scattered puddles, exposed as a water clone.

"Clever brat." Another Zabuza amidst the trees tightens his grip on his blade. The blast blew away enough of the mist to see the softened earth they'd tunneled through and a series of charred tags and steel wire. _He caught my blade with the wire, and trying to tug it free set off the explosives. Either lose my blade or potentially lose my life. Who knew Konoha still had anyone this devious?_

He slips back into the shadows and thickens the mist, conjuring a few more water clones spread across the clearing and a few in the trees. A clone tracks one of them, the little Uchiha, cowering and panting among the bushes. A swing of his cloned blade makes quick work of them, but the clone is dispersed as an electrified hand runs through it. Three more fall to simple kunai. One of them wanders onto an exploding tag. At this point, Zabuza is starting to get a little pissed off. The sensation in the mist grows more oppressive by the moment. _Kakashi's picking most of the clones off and keeping the kids confident about beating me._ _I'll show you little shi_ \- His thoughts are cut off by a fox leaping from the earth behind him and biting into his collarbone. "GAH! What the fuck?!" He grabs Yoko by the neck and throws her into a nearby tree, only for Naruto to leap in and catch her, rolling to a stop with Zabuza bringing his blade down on them both. He registers the grin on the kid's face just in time to leap back and avoid the exploding log he swapped himself with. "How the FUCK does one kid have this may exploding tags?!"

"He made them all himself." Zabuza slowly turns to glare at Kakashi about twenty feet off to his right, his hand starting to spark and chirp. "Honestly, Zabuza. You got too full of yourself. You've let your skills rust and made one of the oldest rookie mistakes: underestimating someone with no record. My kids are quite a lot more than you bargained for, aren't they?"

Zabuza growls and steps backwards. "Maybe… but mine's even better." Kakashi's eyes widen as he's forced back by the sudden spawning of a thick wall of ice, frosting the surrounding ground and turning the mist to snow. Kakashi's tempted to give chase, a lasting effect of his Anbu training, but halts as he recalls his current mission detail. When the ice cracks and shatters moments later, Zabuza's gone. Kakashi sighs and lowers his headband back over his eye before stumbling out of the woods to address his students. What he finds is Sasuke leaping up and kicking the last clone in the back of the head as Sakura's genjutsu dissipates. The moment the illusion falls, Sakura is revealed kneeling and panting beside Tazuna right at the edge of the forest with the hole they'd resurfaced with beside them. Naruto walks back out of the woods with a grin on his face and Yoko cradled in his arms.

"Oy, Sasuke." Naruto steps up to his teammate for a fistbump. "Thanks for providing the wire for that one. Your clan's wire stock is the best I've ever seen, man. I doubt anything of lower quality would have stood up against that blade, even in that quantity."

Sasuke nods and rolls his wrist. One of the clones had blocked a punch with the flat of his blade. Most people would complain about their knuckles in that case, but too much pressure on a join will have some nasty lasting effects. "Because of my clan's fire proficiency and eye for detail, a lot of retired shinobi or trained civilians were blacksmiths. Most of the tools and weapons in my compound were made by and for the clan."

"No shit?" Naruto kneels to observe the remains of his trap. "No wonder. Any chance I can look through your stocks sometime? In return, I'll rig some seals on whatever weapon you decide to take up, and probably keep upgrading them as we go."

He perks up and turns to stare at Naruto's back. "… Ya think we could get Tenten in on this project?"

Naruto peeks back with the very same grin he'd given Zabuza through the mist. "Sasuke, given a few years and the right supplies, we could make something Kiri would be sending anbu to steal."

Kakashi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Well, can't say they're not ambitious or driven, but I should be more worried about them blowing themselves up than an enemy killing them."

.

* * *

.

"Kotetsu, Izumo, how ya been?"

"Oy, hey Uru!" The eternal gate guard duo of Kanoha leans over their booth to look down over the ninken that just arrived through the west gate. "Guess you've got something from Kakashi for the Hokage, right?"

Urushi nods and hops up on the desk. "Yep, but you can be sure next time he summons me that I get some time to stick around, I'm lookin for you boys first." He steps up to the logbook and presses his paw onto the ink pad before signing. "Alright, I'm off to the tower." He takes off at full tilt through the bustling streets of Kanoha. Innocent and clueless civilian children try to chase after him to play. Inuzaka ninken bark greetings and insults alike. He gladly returns fire at the later. The few shinobi who've worked with Kakashi and his ninken team wave as he passes. It isn't long before he's running up the wall of the tower and barking through the window.

Hiruzen raises his eyes from the mess of paperwork on his desk and turns to stare out the window at the messenger ninken. He sighs and rolls his chair over to open the window. "Urushi, good to see you. I suppose Kakashi figured out what was off about his mission?"

He hops in and lays down on the windowsill. "Scroll's in my right pocket. Said I should stick around for further instruction after you read it."

Hiruzen grumbles and pulls the scroll free, taking his time reading it to memorize every detail. _I had some intel suggesting how corrupt Gato was, but this is far worse than I suspected. I should have ordered him assassinated years ago. Well, Jiraiya's meeting them there, so they won't need much backup. Good excuse to send someone who just got back to active duty until the next semester._

He chuckles and prepares a note of his own. "Urushi, you're to remain here until their backup arrives and is briefed. He'll be coming with you as you dispel yourself, then be summoned with you wherever Kakashi is at the time."

"Ah, that old trick? Alright then. Well, while we wait, Naruto had another letter for you. It's in my left pocket."

"Oh?" Hiruzen digs into it and pulls out-

He takes a blast of glitter to the face and drops the tag as it continues to spew a continuous stream of glitter into his office.

.

* * *

.

A.N.: Told yas I'd mix things up. So we already have one known new player in the mix on both sides of this conflict, the Twins are still around and in on it, and Team 7's about to get backup. A little fairer with Team 7's buffs and gives me an excuse to avoid Biju Ex Machina. As for Team 10's appearance, I figured I'd break up the monotony of this arc by occasionally breaking away to what the rest of our cast is doing. I figured you all wouldn't mind. So, please review, even if ya have before just lemme know what ya think so far and try not to go insane waiting for E3 to roll around in 2 weeks. I'm going to be going over all the leaks like a hawk and desperately hoping some of them are real. Particularly Nintendo's. Have a great summer, everyone, and expect another chapter yet this month!


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N.:** Sorry I took so long again. Honestly bit a bit unmotivated lately, and honestly, the failure of my other fic thus far has been a huge part of that. I know Digimon fans are rare but please, if you have any interest at all (Not even for specific seasons of the series or games, cuz I have an entirely original cast in it), **check out my other fic and throw a review or two on there as ya go.** Maybe spread it to any Digimon fans ya know if you're not into it at all yourself. But for enough, enough of that. On with the Wave Arc.

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* * *

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 **Chapter 10**

 **Vision**

The rest of the road to Tazuna's family home had been relatively uneventful, but one would guess anything would seem as such after nearly losing your head to a man wielding a five foot blade that somehow passed as a sword. Even as successful as they were, it had been a close call. Now they all had to go on with the knowledge that he could return for round two at any moment, and all three genin were on edge the moment the adrenaline of the fight wore off. Sakura's fingers were twitching as she prepared to cast a genjutsu at the first sign of any trouble at all. A few bouts of panic and accidental casts left her severely drained of chakra and lethargic for the rest of the walk. Sasuke was as quiet as usual, but his eyes were wider and focused on the ground occasionally, requiring Kakashi to snap him back to attention occasionally. Naruto's silence was potentially the most unnerving. His usual jovial nature was drowned in a sea of doubt. Yoko had bounced back more easily and kept attempting to cheer her partner with a few loving licks to his face as she poked her head out of the front of his jacket. Occasionally, she would chatter away in the Inuzaka hound language and force a smile onto his face before he returned to contemplative silence.

Kakashi couldn't blame them. Their first C rank had already gone wrong in one of the worst ways short of death or failure. It wasn't as bad for them as it had been for himself and his teammates in the war, but he was thankful for that. Some of their innocence still remained and maybe a little hope. Given time, he knew they would snap back. He just couldn't have expected how soon.

The moment they reached civilization in Nami no Kuni, his students' eyes were on the town. Citizens wander with heads hanging, shuffling through filth-ridden dirt roads. Countless shops stood abandoned, windows boarded or smashed, and not a single one left untouched. Half a block looked to have been burned down. Sasuke was familiar enough with fire damage to recognize that the building it had started at burned faster and hotter than the others. It could only have been arson. Only a single child could be seen about, all others kept locked inside for their own safety from the many armed thugs wandering the streets. The one they did see was a young boy curled in a crate filled with blankets and newspapers near the burned homes. The Gato-employed thugs all brandished swords, spears, clubs, and few even openly carrying conventional fuse-lit black powder bombs. This was slow, open, terrorizing warfare against a helpless population.

Naruto was the first to start noticeably boiling over. He grit his teeth and began to reach for his weapon pouch until Kakashi nudged him. The silent command was followed and he shoved his hands back in his hoodie pockets, for now. Sakura on the other hand became a ball of twitching emotions. The tears in her eyes were evident enough, but depending whatever her attention was drawn to at any moment, she would either be fighting off those tears or envisioning the horrors she would bring to peoples' minds with her genjutsu. Sasuke of course was the last to be noticeably phased, but the results were near instant. The moment he saw the homeless boy, almost half his age and hiding in a crate as three henchmen approached, his normally cold and calm demeanor burned away into the seething fury befitting his clan's element. Kakashi barely caught sight of Sasuke breaking away to help them. He almost stopped him.

Almost.

"Hey." Sasuke calls out as he approaches, hands still deep in his pockets. The four thugs turn to Sasuke with incredulous and sagging expressions, completely wasted in broad daylight.

"The ffffuck do you want, ya lillllsshhhit?" The tallest of the group, yet lower than the rest now as he drunkenly hunches, spits out as he leans in to get a better look at Sasuke as his teammates step up behind him. He cups his chin and scratches his overgrown stubble, the stench of alcohol rolling off his breath in such intensity to almost make Sakura reel back if not for the rage driving her.

"Are any of you responsible for the fire here?" Sasuke's eyes narrow. He couldn't tell if the burning in them was due to the soot in the air or the alcohol. He wouldn't know until later that evening that it was neither.

The man hunched down to him starts a sputtering laugh. "Yeah, tha' wud me! Dumb bitsh wouldn' pay up, sho I-" That man would never speak again for the rest of his life without excruciating pain. In his drunken state, he had entirely missed the headbands, the fact that hunching so close made his face an easy target, and the color of blood tinting Sasuke's formerly coal black eyes as an incomplete set of tomoe formed around his pupils.

Sasuke got him by the back of the head and leapt up to knee him in the chin, shattering several of his teeth and breaking his jaw. He then threw his unconscious first target to the ground face-first and leapt over his body just as Sakura and Naruto passed him. Sakura slammed a palm to one's forehead and channeled a more advanced and direct version of Magen: Narakumi into him. Her target began to scream and sprint away from them, desperately begging for help and stumbling over himself. Naruto's target was slapped with a seal that left him motionless and limp on the ground as Yoko began to claw and bite at him, targeting his legs and arms as to not be fatal, but surely disabling. He couldn't even scream. It's a weak seal, but someone without any training in chakra use could never escape it alone. The last of them had long enough to draw his odachi- only for Kakashi to place a kunai to their neck from behind. "You and I are going to talk. Naruto, put a seal on this one too, have some clones take him to the woods and wait for me to come and interrogate him."

Naruto nodded and created three clones with a quick handsign, one slapping a seal onto the captive's forehead and taking the sword while the two remaining clones hefted him onto their shoulders and carried him out of the street and into the woods. The real Naruto took the time to loot the remaining two and hand the entire contents of their wallets to the young man in the crate. "Here… Get yourself a nice meal, a hotel, whatever. I'll come find you whenever we're done here and see if there's anything else we can do for you, ok?"

He slowly peeks out from beneath the blanket he'd been hiding under. His eyes are still reddened by smoke and tears, his black hair hanging over them. ".. t.. t-thank you…" His voice is hoarse and weak, but there's a tiny glimmer of hope there.

This brings a gentle smile to Naruto's face as he hands over the wad of cash and stands to rejoin his team. His smile fades the moment his back is to the kid, eyes steeled and glaring blue flames across the world to someone he can't even perceive. "Let's go. We need to talk about what to do with Gato."

Kakashi narrows his visible eye on his student. "What exactly are you considering doing?"

"Same thing I do to anyone I don't like. I'll prank him."

The entire team fails to notice a toad watching from the overgrown grass beneath the town's abandoned bulletin board.

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Footsteps in the grass and the occasional slap can be heard deep within the woods of Konoha, broken by the occasional thunk of metal piercing wood. A white-eyed boy skids backwards to a stop, the occasional bruise visible across his deathly pale skin. The veins around his eyes pulse and twitch not just with the pressure of his Byakugan, but the seething rage building against his sparring partner. "How the hell did you get this strong?!" He barely parries a blow to his left ribs with a right tilt and an underhanded slap to the offending arm. He breaks away from his opponent and analyzes them once more.

Lee had always been little more to him than a gangly green blob flailing at him in what he has considered one of the most uncultured and worthless taijutsu forms. The boy was fast and powerful but couldn't touch him. Now, if not for his Byakugan's ability to see through henshin, he would have suspected their sensei to have taken his student's place in this spar.

The tides had turned suddenly. Lee had bitten his thumb and swiped the blood across a seal-carved steel pad sticking out from beneath his legwarmers. His speed multiplied in that moment, and the difference was great enough to throw Neji off balance and land a few rather painful blows. The worst part is knowing just how hard Lee can hit, and that he's holding back on these punches. Lee's refraining from landing any truly harmful strikes in favor of testing his new speed and finding openings in Neji's style and patterns.

It infuriates him.

Tenten on the other hand only smirks in barely veiled amusement at the sight of her most closed-minded teammate receiving a long-awaited and much deserved beating. She knew why Lee was this tough. She forged those new shinguards for him herself. She had supplied the materials he needed to get his new tricks prepared. Neji never could have known how much Lee was improving. He considered talent to be natural, unlearnable, and unconquerable. He never took any time to admire someone else's progress, or whatever methods they used to do so. His own training was always done in solitude and with his usual high and mighty attitude. He never witnessed Lee grueling for months over books on sealing and preparing his nerves for the next step of the process. He may handle muscular and bone damage without a whimper, but his skin had to catch up in that regard to prepare himself for the ink and needle that would apply his first great work.

Although reluctant, Lee has thankfully agreed that for this to work, he can't keep their sensei's fashion sense.

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The first night at Tazuna's place was enough to triple Team 7's resolve. His daughter, Tsunami, was a kind and lovely woman whose sleek and elegant black hair almost gave the impression of still ocean waters in the dead of night, complete with a history of loss and tragedy hidden beneath. That history came to the forefront thanks to her son, Inari. The young man had gone out of his way to ignore them for the majority of the night. It wasn't until Naruto had returned with Kakashi from interrogating the captured thug with nothing to show for it that things went sour.

Naruto barges through the door and groans, nearly pulling out his hair. "All that work, and the guy had literally nothing!" He flops down into his seat at the dinner table. Yoko snorts and sticks her tongue out, her head and forepaws emerging from the collar of his hoodie.

Kakashi sighs as he follows his student in. "Yes, yes, I'm as surprised as you. You always hear about the sort of people who join outfits like this just for the power and chaos, but you never expect to meet hired muscle that's actually that shallowly destructive."

Sasuke raises a brow at that, barely peeking up from his spot at the dinner table. "… Well, that's… Honestly really concerning for this town, because if there's one, he may have a few other like-minded henchmen. We'll have to be careful about that."

Sakura nods and props her head up with a closed fist under her nose. "That's an understatement. Even if we stop Gato, people like that need to be dealt with separately, cuz they're likely to do even worse things in rage once they stop getting paid and protected. It's like he has a life insurance policy that pays out in the form of violent revenge."

"So just give up." All eyes turn to the overall-clad boy in a bucket hat standing by the stairs. His eyes can barely be seen through his shaggy black hair and under the brim of his hat, but there's contempt and suffering the likes of which Sasuke recognizes instantly in them. "Gato can't be stopped. He doesn't care about anyone. He won't let you fight him for long. He'll kill you too, just like every other 'hero'-" He nearly spits that word out like it were poison. "-that's tried to stop him."

"Inari-" Tsunami quietly scolds her son. "Don't be so rude to our guests."

"It's fine." All eyes fall on Sasuke. "That's a very… realistic stance to have. One I really can't blame him for." He turns his gaze onto the now bewildered boy. "Bad people get away with terrible things all the time. But you also need to remember, Inari… that there are always equally capable people willing to fight them and put an end to the tragedies they cause. Terrible things happen..." He closes his eyes and lowers his head, propping it head up on his interlocked fingers. "But we don't have to let them keep happening. Not when there's any possibility of stopping it." He raises his head once more and stares Inari in the eyes with his incomplete Sharingan, two tomoe in the right and a single in the left. "Even if we fail and it costs our lives, the idea alone is worth fighting for. I've spent half my life training for that very purpose, so don't belittle all my effort, and the efforts of anyone else for the same purpose."

Most of the room is stunned into silence by his words. Inari can't possibly reply. Sakura's jaw slacks and nearly falls open, lips quivering as she's wracked with guilt over having never noticed just how hurt Sasuke is, what really drives him to be as great as he is. Kakashi can't help but feel his heart swell with pride. Finally, his most troubled student had found the hope necessary to focus on a purpose greater than just avenging his clan. Little did he know, Sasuke had only come to this development this very night. Witnessing the destruction Gato's very presence had caused in this town, knowing that there are many people out in the world as horrid as him, and many whom are far worse, finally pushed him to look past the single felled tree to see the forest that remains.

Naruto on the other hand can lets off a half-hearted and breathy chuckle, breaking the silence as he looks his brother in all but blood dead in eyes. Blood red meets sapphire, and the determination within them both nearly lights a spark in the air between them. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Pinkeye. So, if that's your stance on this…" His grin becomes almost sickeningly wide. "I've got a role in mind for ya in the greatest prank of my life." He shifts in his seat to raise his right side and pull scroll him his back pocket, while Sasuke is left confused as to his new nickname. "It's a work in progress yet, and I need to gather and make a lot of parts of it, but how many fireballs do you think you can give me to seal up in a week?"

Kakashi perks up as he feels the faintest flare of chakra. "Oh, about time they were ready. Tsunami-san, the backup I mentioned will be arriving in a moment. Please, don't be surprised by the method I'm bringing them here…"

As Kakashi pushes himself to his feet and channels chakra, Sakura snaps herself out of her admirating daze and focuses on her sensei. "You're bringing them here? Some sort of transport justu?"

Kakashi chuckles and pricks his thumb with a kunai. "Yeah, a little trick my sensei, the Yondaime, taught me. He'd been taught it by his own sensei, Jiraiya of the Sannin." He shifts through five handsigns and slams his hand onto the floor. "Kuchiyose!"

In a blast of smoke, two figured appear. The first is Pakkun, Kakashi's deadpan, sarcastic pug, his sagging face giving the constant impression of being tired of everyone's shit.

The other is quite the shocker, but a very welcome one. Iruka stumbles for a moment as he appears, peeking around to get his bearings. "I don't think I'll ever get used to being summo-" The wind is knocked from him as Naruto leaps into his gut and knocks him to the floor. "Uuugh… Good to see you too, son." He reaches down and ruffles Naruto's hair as he catches his breath, flat on his back. "Thanks for requesting me, Kakashi."

He shrugs and pulls a dog treat from his pocket, handing it to Pakkun. "You were the obvious choice. Your suiton is well suited for the area, and your detection skills are perfect for countering assassins. Although I'm not sure how well your jutsu will work in the middle of Kirigakura no jutsu…"

"Um…" He slowly sits up, with Naruto rolling off to sit beside him. "Last I tried it, the mist dampened my Chakra Onkyouteii a bit, but couldn't completely block it. I should be fine."

Kakashi nods and returns to reading. "Well, eat well and rest tonight. Tomorrow, we need to start training and preparing for Zabuza's counterattack. He'll need time to prepare a good strategy against us, but I'm sure he'll attack before the end of the week. Sleep in shifts, ensure the house is secure and guarded every night, set traps if you have to as long as they don't harm or inhibit our hosts." He snaps his book shut and stands over his students, looking each of them dead in the eyes. "This next week, I'm going to push you until we go home wondering how you'd ever been so weak as you were when we left Konoha. We'll make sure your first real mission, crazy as it's been so far, is a defining moment of success to kick off your true careers as shinobi."  
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A.N.: Fear the Lee. Fear him as much as he has always deserved to be feared, and then some. Yes, Lee is honestly one of my favorite characters purely on principal of how simple he is yet how much potential he has. I fully intend to abuse that potential to keep him among the greats of the series. And Thirdfang, if you happen to look into this... _You made me do this. You did this. Your Lee is scary. **Let's see how ya like my Lee.**_

On other notes, E3 was hype and a half this year. DMC5 blew my mind. Rare decided to revive a meme to the point Gamestop had to make the joke before the calls started coming in. DOOM Eternal will be the most entertaining bloodbath of all time. JUMP FORCE is beautiful and I desperately hope it has more series and characters than their last 3D arena fighter. Better have All Might. And Nintendo? Take my money now. And please have the theories about the disappearance of Shadow's assist trophy be true and let him fight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Secrets Run the World**

Despite the advice to get a good night's rest, Team 7 found themselves up at the ass crack of dawn and standing by the shore. Naruto, despite his boundless energy, can only manage to stare into empty space and grumble incoherently. He remains hunched with hanging arms, barely raising one to rub his right eye. Sasuke remains upright with his arms crossed, but the bags under his eyes are notable. Sakura stands between the two with her left eye twitching and her hair a frizzy mess.

Yoko is just curled into a tight orange ball and napping on the dock.

Why did Kakashi have to be on time for once when it came to training this early in the morning?

"Alright, kiddies." Kakashi grins almost sadistically, forming a notable crease in his mask where the corners of his mouth rise. "Today, seeing as you've gotten so good at tree climbing already, I'm going to be teaching you all to walk on water. I know you've seen this demonstrated already, so you must have some vague idea what to do." He waves to his most composed student. "So, Sasuke, what can you tell us about this exercise?"

Sasuke huffs and closes his eyes, gathering his thoughts. "Well… much like tree climbing, you have to find a balance to adhere yourself to it enough to stay and not so much to break the bark. With water, if you use too much, you drag yourself under. But it's repelling instead of attaching in this case. Too much, and you blast the water away and lose your footing. Too little, and you fall through. But how much you put out, and in what pattern, must shift with the water. You need to train it until reacting to the flow of the water is instinctive."

"Very good." Kakashi snaps his book shut and looks his students over. "We'll spend the first chunk of the day on training up this skill. I expect you to all be able to walk on water with ease by the end of our first three days of training. We'll have another three at least before Zabuza and his cohort return for Tazuna's head. Afterwards, Iruka and I will be splitting up and using clones to teach each of you privately and personally." He tucks his book into his back pocket and waves to the water off the docks. "Best get to it, kids."

Sakura whines as she approaches the edge of the dock, staring into the murky water. "I'm gonna get soaked doing this, aren't I?"

"So?" She peeks up to find Naruto approaching while in the process of removing his hoodie and shirt. "We're ninja, and water's a lot better than blood."

"N-N-Naruto, w-what are you doing?!"

He stares at her as blankly as he can manage. "I have seals and paper and shit in my pockets, and I don't want my clothes to be completely soaked." He pulls off his weapon and scroll pouches, adds the contents of his cargo pockets, and balls it all together in his hoodie before pelting Yoko awake with it. "You need to learn this too, lazy-ass!"

Yoko whines, grunts, and chatters at him as she crawls out from under his jacket.

"Hey, it's not my fault you stayed up half the night talking to Pakkun and asking about this fox Uru's trying to set you up with…"

Sasuke pauses at the edge of the dock. "That's what all the yapping last night was about?" He sighs and cracks his neck. "Whatever, let's get this training over with." He's the first to leap off, landing on the water with a smack akin to a belly-flop, standing for about half a second, then sinking as the water ripples and throws off his balance. He sinks in and manages to pulse chakra through his arms quickly enough to balance himself and not go under. "… You chose the beach instead of a skill pond for this just because it's harder, didn't you?"

"Hm?" Kakashi peeks up from his book and speaks in a deadpan drone. "What makes you say that?"

Sasuke narrows his sharingan at Kakashi before swimming back to the dock to try again.

Naruto snorts as he finishes his stretching and steps off the pier. "This'll be easy." He lands on his left foot first, sinks halfway up his shin, then pulses chakra in a manner that blasts the water away and himself from it. He falls back and onto his ass, staring wide-eyed at the wave he just made. "O-Ok, that was way too much chakra. Got it."

"Um… N-Naruto?"

"Hm?" He peeks up to Sakura as he lays back on the dock. "What's up?"

"W..." She point's t his stomach. "W-What with that seal on you? I-it's a l-lot more complex than a-anything I've ever seen you m-make.."

Naruto's blood runs cold as he peeks down to himself. He should be familiar with this seal by now, but having it pointed out by someone uninformed is simply chilling. It's a struggle to keep all the muscles in his stomach from visibly tensing in fear at that moment.

Thankfully, bluffs come easily to a trap master.

"O-oh, um... it's e-experimental. Not really complete yet, but um, i-it's meant to be a sort of long-term chakra seal to give me a full restock and then some in e-emergencies."

Kakashi can't help but be a bit proud of that. Most of that was true, and sprinkling truth into a lie is the best way to make it feel real, even to a trained shinobi. Lies of omission are indeed an important skill in the shinobi field Naruto's chosen to specialize in. it's at this moment that he decides what the next step in his student's training is going to be today.

Sasuke kneels to get a better look at it. "Really? That's a cool concept… but wouldn't that also be really dangerous to use? I've OD'd on chakra pills before, and this seal must be that times a dozen."

Sakura scoffs. "If it were that times a dozen, he'd be out cold minutes after using it."

".. W-Well…" Naruto chuckles nervously. "Probably, yeah… like I said, l-last resort."

Kakashi waves the ordeal off and turns his back. "Try to avoid using it, then. For now, get back to training, and try not to worry about the seal. Besides, I see a few flaws in it that need to be worked on before it'll even work anyway."

Naruto side-eyes his sensei incredulously, but translates him quite quickly. He doesn't see any flaws, he's not good enough with seals to know if there are any, but there's no reason for the other two not to believe him. "R-Right… though getting it off may require a removal seal by the old man." He pushes himself back to his feet and approaches the water again. "O-Ok, let's try this again."

The next five hours was an obnoxious wet shitshow, leaving team seven sunken into the water dozens of times each. Naruto was certain he'd reached a hundred dips at one point.

After his fiftieth, he kept a clone underwater and had them write a seal on the underside of the pier to blast Kakashi off and into the water. It failed, and Naruto was told if he's going to use clones, he'll be using them to speed up his training.

Eventually, they all manage to maintain themselves on the water for ten minutes at a time without any issues, and smoothly drifting over small waves. That done, Kakashi creates two clones and breaks the party up to train each of his students separately in their own specialties, as best he can.

In a small clearing half a kilometer west-southwest of the docks, Kakashi stands before Naruto in silence as he weighs his options and lets his student stew in anticipation. Naruto is… actually not having any of that, and currently chattering away with Yoko about what the two of them think they might be learning.

"… At attention, Naruto." He bolts upright and shoves his hands in his pockets. Shinobi have no salute, but it's clearly Naruto's at least trying to be more formal and attentive. "You impressed me back there. You clearly have a grasp on how to twist the truth into a convincing lie. For your specialty, that's a crucial talent… but you could be better." Kakashi pulls out a small notebook and sifts through it. "Anyone with real experience in deception could have read through you easily enough. The only way to improve is through acting practice. So, we'll hit three birds with one stone." He tosses the notebook to Naruto. He fumbles for a moment, but catches it and starts to read through a list of physical, psychological, and historical traits. "Your transformation also needs some work. You're meticulous and quick with it, but only with either your Orioke no Jutsu or people you know personally. If you're going to get any good at infiltrating, you need to be able to mimic people you've only just met, and likely killed, and replace them. But even then, you still run the risk of encountering someone who knows who you've become better than you do." He crosses his arms and tilts his head back, grinning down to his befuddled student. "So you're going to take features in this book to make ten different clones of non-existent people, then send them into town to investigate Gato's hold on Nami no Kuni, and anything else you can dig up on him."

Naruto studies the contents of the notebook for a few minutes, biting his lips as he divvies up qualities, backgrounds, skills, making varied and convincing people to the best of his ability. Soon enough, he's producing clones of men and women of various ages and professions. An old, tired, fisherman, a wandering widow, a homeless blind man, a thieving orphan boy, an obnoxious drunk- and Kakashi paused as he realized Naruto was starting to make multiple, and send out more than he'd demanded. After twenty clones all in personalized disguises, the original stands and stretches. "Well, that should do. While they're working, I should probably do some physical training, right?"

Kakashi stares for a moment, but eventually grins through his mask and nods. "A wonderful idea. Well then, how about we work on your speed? Try to apply the same chakra expulsion used for water walking to your feet, but in much higher quantities, and see how fast it makes you."

"Oh hell yeah!" Naruto lowers himself into a sprinting stance and pulses chakra odd his forward foot just as it slips behind him in his first stride-

And lands face-first into a tree ahead of him. "…. Uuuuuugggghhh-"

Several clearings to the north, one of Kakashi's clones stands with Sasuke, watching him going through a few katas while maintaining his Mahiken. His style, as quick, reactive, and direct as it is, meshes with this jutsu all too well. He could compare it to the Hyuga's Jyuuken easily enough, but not quite as low, rotating, or focused. There's extra focus on hitting limbs compared to the body, for the sake of disabling, but it doesn't require the same amount of precision. The extra room for error and flexibility makes it a great style for a reactionary close-combatant. This jutsu alone has already exposed Sasuke's greatest traits, and made training him easier than Kakashi could have hoped. "Well, Sasuke… With Naruto focused on traps, and Sakura focused on support with genjutsu and iryojutsu, I believe it's best that you learn to focus on pure assault. Your style works wonderfully in close combat, but it's flexible enough to retreat to mid range and focus your efforts there as well. As such, we'll need to focus on improving your strength, speed, and chakra capacity." He cracks his knuckles and starts shifting through handsigns. "But to augment that, why not learn a fire version of your Mahiken as well? You may need a different combat style to go with it to make proper use, but there's no reason not to get the jutsu working ahead of time. Especially if it can improve your resistance to your secondary element for greater fire jutsu later."

Sasuke kneels and raises his barely closed hand to his face, index knuckle tucked between his pursed lips. After a few moments, he starts shifting through handsigns. Normally, the original D rank jutsu he modified was Mi-Ushi. His Mahiken was Mi-I-Saru. This time, he attempts Tora-I-Saru and channels fire chakra, all too familiar thanks to his Gokyakyu no jutsu. Soon enough, flames begin to spark around his hands, but snuff out quickly. He scowls, but attempts this again, and again. Kakashi's clone leans against a nearby tree and watches Sasuke's progress with a smile. Just a little push, and his own drive builds his momentum. To top it off, trying to learn this jutsu will also improve both his control and chakra capacity by repeatedly attempting it until perfection, then maintaining it long-term. Sasuke's training was in his own hands now, and they'd probably hurt like hell by the end of the day, but it'd be more than worth it.

Lastly was Kakashi's second clone, seated on a stump as he goes over a medical textbook with Sakura. Her memory still shocks him, and her work ethic has become something to rival her teammates. The reading alone is high level, but she picks it up as easily as second nature. The most impressive part is that she's also managing to flow water chakra through a senbon on each of her fingertips to keep them balanced upright. Her control is ludicrous, but learning to do this with water chakra so quickly shows control and potential that hasn't been seen in this element in Konoha since the Nidaime. Her chakra capacity is far from enough to take advantage of it to the extent he did, but it's enough to make pure chakra control tricks a tide turner.

But the real shocker was when she then reached down with the senbon, dragged them across her own thigh, didn't flinch, and proceeded to heal her own wound. Her memory isn't her only mental trick. She has hyperfocus. With all her social and mental quirks, this ability makes it possible for her to dedicate herself to a target and completely ignore outside influence. It's a double-edged sword, but that's something most shinobi have in some form. In this case, the benefit of being able to ignore pain completely is a huge advantage. Her focus, instead, is on then applying her latest lessons to healing the fresh cut she'd just given herself. Her iryojutsu is still a fresh and weak talent, but by the end of the week, she should be able to heal any non-critical bleeding wound easily.

Back with the original Kakashi, the real Naruto is now turning off his gravity seals and stretching in preparation of stealth training for further surveillance of the town. Knowing Kakashi will follow to ensure his safety, he prepares to sprint without a word- but freezes as Kakashi grabs his shoulder "Naruto... before we go, there's something I should clarify."

"Hm?.." Naruto stands and drops his grin, knowing it must be serious if Kakashi insists on saying it here rather than on the move. "W-Well, I'm all-ears." To emphasize this, Yoko's ears perk up behind Naruto, as she's tucked herself back into his hood.

Kakashi peers around as if to double check their privacy. He's already certain of it, but he knows this will get the point of how important this is across to his student. "I know I commended you earlier for the efficacy of that lie, but it doesn't mean that was the right thing to do."

His student's sapphire eyes widen as the implications sink in. "B-But… that's supposed to be an S-rank secret!" He stumbles back and bumps into a tree. "N-Nobody's supposed to f-find out!"

"False." Naruto freezes in his tracks. "A few select people have permission to speak of it freely. This list includes myself, the Hokage, his surviving former teammate, Elders Homura and Koharu, elite strategist Nara Shikaku, the two loyal members of the Sanin, and you. And your father recently, of course. You and the Hokage also have exclusive rights to doll out permission to speak of it to others." He steps up and leans down to look his student in the eyes. "This of course means you have permission to tell anyone you trust enough with this knowledge, including your teammates."

Naruto finds himself frozen under his sensei's gaze. The intensity of his stare, the weight of the decision thrust upon him, and the impact he feels ahead of him combine into a stunning force that Sasuke's Mahiken can't match.

How could he possibly tell his teammates about the Kyuubi? He'd barely gotten Sakura to trust him, and stop hitting him so much. If she found out, she'd probably avoid him completely, for a while at least. Maybe try to be transferred to another team. Sasuke, he couldn't be too sure still. They'd grown closer, he felt like a true friend now, if a bit distant still. This reveal could completely break that.

But he could be underestimating them. They could understand. Sasuke's not the type to make a big deal of just about anything, and Sakura's the smartest girl he knows, so she'd be able to look at the whole seal situation objectively, right?

"… I'll… I'll think about it. It won't be easy, but… m-maybe." He closes his eyes and shakes his head clear. "I-I should get to work on my stealth training. I'll think about this later…" he turns and bolts off towards the town, disappearing into the woods in silence, with Kakashi's clone in tow.

The real Kakashi, who Naruto hadn't been speaking to or known of, steps out of hiding and watches as he goes. "… He took that well."

"Hmph." A short distance away, the great toad sage fades into view leaning against a tree, arms crossed and head down. "Not bad, gaki. He's learning well, and his specialties are something rare and versatile. He'll be a trip to train, and his potential is stunning. It's amazing, how much he took after both his parents. So much of his mother's personality, but his father's looks and intellect? Now I know it's not conventional intelligence, but nothing about the Uzumaki is ever conventional." He looks over to Kakashi with a grin. "You set up his training for today to show him off to me, didn't you?"

"Am I that transparent?" Kakashi rolls his eyes. "It's his specialties, you said it yourself. It was the right choice today for a lot of reasons, and you're probably the smallest one, to be honest."

Jiraiya grins and marches up to his student's student. "Just what I wanted to hear. I'll be keeping an eye on him too then." His smile fades a bit, but doesn't disappear. "As for that last bomb you dropped on him… I'll let how he handles that determine if he's ready to meet me, and how much he's ready to hear?"

Kakashi freezes and peers over at the sage from the corner of his eye. "… You're thinking of telling him everything?"

"Potentially." The sage passes Kakashi and heads off towards the town. "If he handles this well enough, he'll deserve it. if he can prove he can be trusted with that knowledge, and won't let it get to his head, then I'll tell him." He lowers his head and shakes it. "I wish I could have told him years ago..." He pauses for a moment to gather himself. Kakashi can't blame him. As stoic as a shinobi of his caliber is meant to be, pain this deep cannot be completely ignored.

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A.N.: Hey, how's everybody doing? Sorry this one took so egregiously long, but classes started back up, new relationship on top of it, kinda got swamped for a while. Things are calming down and I'm getting back into the groove of creative writing though, and I have the majority of content for the reminder of this arc already planned, and quite a few things beyond. So, expect the next one sooner, most certainly before Halloween, maybe with a holiday omake on top of it.

In the meantime, enjoy the chapter, spread it around, throw me a few reviews, and keep hyping about upcoming game releases. I just got a Switch, and BOI, I'mma bust out my ol Ganondorf skills and choke-slam a bitch straight to hell. That, and pray to every god in every pantheon that Shadow gets in.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Secrets Worth Telling**

Half an hour on the streets of Nami is all it takes to find a lucky break. One of Naruto's clones is disguised as one your average street thugs, slightly darker skin suggesting he's used to equatorial living and a lot of travel. His messy brown afro and barely grown mustache blow about in the ocean breeze, as does his open crimson overshirt, white button-up beneath it, and dark gray shorts. He decided to enhance his disguise by stealing a pair of Geta sandals, clacking away with every step to support the authenticity of the illusion, and a quick 'spar' with another thug earned him a cheap-ass katana to carry about.

His visage didn't go unnoticed for long. He could tell a good number of thugs were eying him, wondering where this wannabe samurai came from and what to do about him… until he approached a gaggle of them gathered out front of a restaurant. He keeps his back arched into a profound slouch and his hands deep in his pockets. "So, I heard there's good work in these parts. Who's payin, and what's the gig?"

The two eldest mercs share a quick glance. In an instant, Naruto knows they must share a history either under Gato's employ or on other job. He decides to keep an eye on these two. Disguising himself as either one at any time would be too risky, for now at least. They deliberate in silence in a matter of two seconds before looking back to the walking bomb they're about to invite into their midst. "Gato needs this place underfoot for his… secondary businesses. He's got a lot of property here, and lot to take yet. Might need to get your hands dirty, if ya know what I mean."

Naruto scoffs and shakes his head. "Good money, and a town to have the run of? Yeah, I'm in. What perks come with it? We get any of his stock?"

The youngest of the crew grins wide enough to almost split his face. "Boy, we got the best shit in the world! Part of the job is to keep em from farming here. The boss needs all that land for his products. I've been flyin half the time I've been here, man!" He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a bag full of pre-rolled joints, clearly handmade. "Want a sample to celebrate the new job?"

Naruto raises an eyebrow as he debates how to handle this. Denying it would seem a bit too obstinate for this crowd. If he uses it, his regenerative properties from the fox won't allow him to get anything out of it. He has no experience with this kinda stuff to work off of to act like he's high, so that's out of the question too. Thankfully, his prankster's mind has already devised a dozen ways to take advantage of this by time half a second has passed. "Eh, I'll take a sample," He reaches out to take a blunt and stuffs it in his pocket. "but I'll wait to have this later with a good drink and a girl on my arm, ya know? Why waste a good thing like this in these dreary parts?"

The eldest of the group chuckles and gives Naruto a quick fistbump. "Now that's a real man's way. You'll fit in here just fine, boy. What's your name?"

"Oh yeah, always been poor at introductions." He chuckles and shoves both hands back in his pockets. "Call me Genma."

"Well, Genma..." He waves for the clone to follow as they turn and leave. "Lemme show ya to some of the best cargo. You need a girl? We've got plenty."

Two blocks away, with right eye glowing and right ear tingling, Jiraiya chuckles to himself and turns to walk away, his transparency jutsu in full swing and nobody the wiser. "Not bad, kid. You've got a real future in infiltration. My spy network could use more men like you…" He sighs and marches off towards the bridge builder's abode. "Now, I believe the real you is…"

Back in the same clearing Naruto had made all of his clones in, he sits in a near meditative state, occasionally placing a few brush strokes on the schematics at work in front of him. He had gone into the field to double check for any specific scenarios he'd need to make new clones on the fly for, but returned soon after to record his findings and work on more designs. Each calculation is careful and deliberate, collected by clones elsewhere, preparing his greatest trap yet. Yoko remains seated in his lap through it all, half asleep and just enjoying her best friend's company. Naruto jolts as another clone pops and he jots down a few notes on a separate scroll, beneath a series of them detailing intel from his disguised clones. "That's a pretty huge pot farm… Now what to do with it? Could probably get away with stealing some to use in traps… Maybe give some to Sakura for medical research? I know Jiji would want some…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "Illegal in a lot of Sui no Kuni territory, where Gato does most of his trading, but perfectly legal back home, thanks to Tsunade's research and Jiji's insistence. Kakashi sensei, didn't the Nara have a hand in that too?"

"Yep." Kakashi looks up from his book and glances over the scrolls. "Impeccable work so far. I discovered some of that well before you, but your clones and the range of your search improves your results by quite a lot. Figuring out what warehouses he's using isn't difficult, the pot farm's pretty huge and hard to miss, but getting both of those and the whereabouts of his human trafficking cells in such a short time is incredible for someone your age."

Naruto chuckles as he writes down a few more bits of intel. "How's adding the ship Gato's living on and the total roster of his missing nin hires sound?"

Kakashi perks up and stashes his book back in his back pocket before stepping up to read. "No names, but decent descriptions. We already knew about Zabuza and the demon brothers, though. His Hyoton using friends seems to be quite a lot of trouble, but-" Kakashi pauses and glares at the one name Naruto was able to get. "… That idiot is actually throwing his name around?" Kakashi rubs at the bridge of his nose. "Ugh…"

"Guessing you recognize the name somehow." Naruto pinches his chin- something Kakashi realizes he picked up from his adoptive father which, ironically, was something Iruka picked up from his admiration of Minato. "So who's this Aoi Rokushō, anyway?"

"A dumbass who thinks he's tough shit just because he got his hands on a powerful tool. That sword your intel says he's bragging about was one of the Nidaime's creations." Kakashi pulls his right hand from his pocket and channels a bit of lightning into it. "It was one of my inspirations for my original jutsu, actually. My sensei, the Yondaime, was a big fan of his as well. You've taken up one of his jutsu, too." He smirks at the realization that Naruto's completely enrapt by this knowledge. "The Kage Bunshin was one of the Nidaime's creations too. Seems that's a habit that's gone through three generations of students now."

Naruto returns his gaze to his notes, but smiles gently at the thought of already being so mentally and emotionally close to his idols. Without even realizing it, he'd made a piece of their legacy his own. His spirit refreshed and more empowered than ever, he returns to work, inspired to develop a plethora of new traps and techniques.

Off to the side of the clearing, a toad watches in silence, but struggles not to break into a smile and ruin the illusion.

That is, until Yoko starts eyeing him up and he bails as hurriedly as possible.

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* * *

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Dinner was relatively uneventful. Inari was still absent, which Sasuke seemed a bit distracted by, but said nothing of it. He knows how the boy's feeling after the speech he'd given. Sakura was completely drained of chakra, digging into her meal like her life depends on it. Thankfully, this was a bit of advice from Anko that she took to heart: stop dieting. Shinobi don't diet, they binge and train to the point that not a single calorie is excessive. Naruto on the other hand is oddly quiet at this meal. Kakashi explained it away as the results of the headache induced by expelling too many clones at once, but he knew all too well that Naruto was really thinking off the conundrum he'd proposed to him earlier.

Naruto's deliberation becomes so deep as to nearly enter his mindscape. For a moment, he ceases to see his meal and instead sees the Kyuubi's face, lazily smirking at him in his own half-slumbering state. Seeing the fox laying there on the titanic pillow he had conjured months ago, shockingly peaceful for such a reportedly destructive beast, once again turned his thoughts to how their conversation a few months ago had gone. Since then, he's had a lot of time to think about the 'interrogation' he promised the cocky kitsune, but one thing stayed at the forefront of his mind; Why isn't the Kyuubi the mindless and destructive beast that the village assumes him to be?

For him to act as he did in that first meeting proves a wealth of intelligence beyond those reports, and having seen it with his own eyes, he knows it must be the truth. Therefore, logic states the 'mass-destructive wild animal' reports are false. So why? He'd have to ask later, if he can ever find his way back into his mindscape to do so. It's proven difficult so far.

Regardless, that leaves him with one more inquiry: How should he tell the others of his tenant and said tenant's intelligence? By now, it wasn't a question of whether he should or shouldn't, but how to break it to them smoothly enough to prevent any panic.

Eventually, Naruto's finishes his meal and washes up for the night, making his way upstairs to the guest room offered to himself and his teammates. He'd been the last to bathe that night, and it gave him just the time he needed to figure out the final details of his plan.

He opens the sliding door into his team's room, and the moment it's shut behind him, he clears his throat. "So, guys… there's a few things I really need to talk to you both about."

Sasuke raises his head from the scroll he'd been reading on chakra applications to taijutsu, tucked into the corner opposite the door, beside his cot. "What's this about, then?"

Sakura barely realizes anything's going on until Naruto walks past her field of vision, just above the medical textbook she'd been reading. "O-Oh, hey Naruto! Is something wrong?"

Yoko remains napping in the middle of the floor, paying no attention whatsoever. She already knows what's coming.

Once he reaches the window and stares out of it, he sighs deeply, takes a moment to run his towel over his head to dry his hair off more, and speaks with his back turned. "We make a great team, but I don't feel like we really know each other that well. That needs to change. Honestly, I… I have some really big things to tell you two, but I'd like if all of us could get something off our chests tonight."

Sakura tilts her head as she weighs her options on this. "… Alright. I'll bite." She marks her place in her book and sets it aside before laying back in her bed. "Guess I'll start. I probably have the least to say. So… You should know Naruto… I have you to thanks for becoming half as competent as I am now." She returns her gaze to him from the ceiling. "That prank you pulled on the fanclub got me to resign from it and start taking things seriously. I… I know I was really hard on you for years. I know I wasn't the best person…" She looks back to the ceiling and runs her fingers through her hair, getting a bit stressed just bringing this up. "Sasuke, I was way too obsessed with you. That set me back a lot. And I'm not letting that hold me back anymore. Naruto's the one who showed me just how much that obsession crippled my progress as a kunoichi, and even then it took a lot of struggling with everything my grandmother always told me about 'marrying a rich clan boy like Sasuke' to finally snap out of it. She was always on about 'that Naruto boy's a demon' and 'Sasuke's the best thing you can have in life'." She half-heartedly mimics a gag. "So sick of her shit. It's not to say you're not… still on my mind, Sasuke. I'm just focusing more on me now. And Naruto…." She finally looks back to him with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for everything over the years. Just know you can count on me to not cause you any more trouble moving forward. I've got your back, just as much as Sasuke's."

That one confession, no matter how comparatively small it is compared to the one he had coming, leaves Naruto's choice to tell them sealed. All that remained was Sasuke's own confession. After lingering on Sakura with a teary smile, he turns to face Sasuke, and finds him stunned still for a few seconds yet.

Once Sasuke finally moves, he crosses his arms and tucks himself deeper into the corner. "…Thank you, Sakura. It's… nice to hear that without your fangirling in the way." He sighs and closes his eyes to calm himself for what's to come. "… You heard what I said in introductions. I have a goal to track and kill someone for the sake of my clan and village. That would be my brother, Itachi."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin. "The bastard who slaughtered your clan. Anyone with an ear to the ground and without their head up their ass knows about that."

Sasuke nods and returns to his tale. "When he did it, I couldn't understand why he left me alive. I honestly still can't, but I've obsessed over that all my life. It wasn't until you two started changing that I started… rethinking it."

Naruto perks up and raises a brow. "Why's that?"

"… I saw how you two changed by dropping your obsessions. Naruto, your mindless obsession with being Hokage without having a real plan for how was something I found both ridiculous and admirable. It was a big goal, like mine, and neither of us had a clue how to get there. I just wanted to get stronger, and didn't care how, or know how." He looks to Sakura, whose been staring intently through every word, enrapt and clearly inspired. "And… Sakura. When you abandoned your obsession of me and started taking things more seriously, I realized my obsession with killing Itachi was clouding my judgement and making me miss a bigger picture too." He sighs deeply as sparks fly between his fingers. "Yes, he most certainly needs to die still. I still plan to do so. But I'm not going to rush in blind for the sake of vengeance anymore…" He looks up from his sparking hand with a smirk. "I still wasn't sure what new motivation I needed until that homeless kid in town yesterday. I knew at that moment it was for kids like him. Like… me. To protect people from monsters like him who would leave more kids like me in the world."

Sakura's left blushing a bit by the end of his speech, once again floored by him, but for reasons far from those her previous, fangirl self would have been. She gently shakes herself from her lovestruck stupor and steps over to take his hand, which conveniently stops sparking as she reaches out. "You know you don't have to handle all of that alone." She peeks up to Naruto for a moment. "Just like you don't have to suffer your climb to Hokage alone."

Sasuke nods and sighs in relief. "That's why I'm telling you. Because I know you'll have my back. When the time comes for me to deal with him, I do want to fight him alone… but we'll help each other grow stronger, to be sure we can all handle monsters like Itachi."

Naruto nods solemnly and takes a deep breath to prep for his reveal. "Speaking of monsters… do either of you know what a jinchuuriki is?"

Sakura stares blankly for a moment, but Sasuke wracks his brain and finds an answer from within his clan's texts. "Wait, are you fucking serious?"

Sakura peeks down to her crush. "W-What's wrong? What's a jinchuuriki?"

Sasuke sighs. "Naruto, explain it, cuz I have an idea what's going on, but I need holes filled in."

Naruto nods and starts to pace around the room. "Basically… a Biju, like the Kyuubi, can't be killed. But it can be sealed, and all of them have been before, as best I know. But it takes a strong seal to do it, a really strong one. The Kyuubi's the strongest of them, so it takes a seal great enough to kill the user…" He sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head. "and a newborn baby with undeveloped but flexible chakra coils to seal him in."

Sakura quickly puts 2 and 2 together to get the 5 million on this reveal's WTF scale. "Wait, you're telling me to Yondaime died sealing that thing in _you_?"

Naruto chuckles grimly and nods. "Yeah. My hero died leaving me trapped with the thing everyone in the village treats me like shit for."

Sasuke grumbles and glares out the window, to the south. "That explains a lot. The hate, the glares, the insults, your ridiculous chakra capacity…"

"U-Um…" Sakura giggles nervously. "Do you, um… hear him, at all?"

Naruto snorts. "That's the best part. I've had a few conversations with him in the last eight months, and lemme tell ya, the guy's a lot more intelligent than the reports from that night let on. So much so that I'd have to guess there was something going on that night that only he knows, and he's refusing to tell me. Says I'm 'not ready'."

Sakura pauses and furrows her brow, focusing on all the imperceptible details she's already collected. "But if he's intelligent, then why has nobody reported him speaking at all that night? Why the drastic difference?"

Sasuke groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Genjutsu… Naruto, can you pass my apologies to him for whatever jackass in my family was responsible for that?"

Naruto's mouth falls agape for just a moment, but then snaps back shut as he considers Sasuke's implication. "That explain a lot… and he's too prideful to admit it happened. But why are you so sure it was someone in your clan?"

He grumbles and leans back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "… The night my brother slaughtered our clan, he used the strongest genjutsu in the world on me. Something I discovered more details about my looking into ancient family records. It's called Tsukuyomi, and only someone with an especially advanced and powerful Sharingan, a stage known as the Mangekyou, can use it. It was the worst experience of my life… and if the Sharingan is capable of horrors like that, then I have no doubt that the clan records suggesting it's been used to command Biju before are correct too." He drops his gaze to Naruto and narrows his eyes. "… I believe you, Naruto. And if you ever find a way for anyone else to hold a conversation with him, I have a few questions of my own."

Sakura nods in agreement and shifts off her knees to sit beside Sasuke against the wall. "It's… a bit much to take in, but he's right, Naruto. We believe you, and we've got your back. And even the Kyuubi's, if he's as smart and potentially innocent as you're suggesting." She sighs and leans back to relax a bit, almost slumping against Sasuke, who seems uncomfortable, but doesn't object. "I trust your judgement. Besides the pranks you pull on us, you haven't steered us wrong before…"

A few moments of heavy silence pass before Naruto manages to step over and sit on Sakura's other side. Yoko leaps into his lap a moment later. "Thanks, guys…" He keeps his head turned away to hide the few tears of joy he can't hold back. "… for believing me… and in me, when so few have before."

Sasuke snorts slightly. "You may be a good liar, but you're a shitty storyteller. The story you just told us makes too much sense for you to have written it."

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* * *

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Just outside the window, with the salty ocean breeze blowing his minimized scent away so Yoko can't detect him through his transparency jutsu, Jiraiya sits on the wall of the second floor with a smile plastered on his face. _This kid's ready. As soon as he's asleep for the night…_

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* * *

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Naruto jolts awake as water splashes across his face, leaping into a defensive stance and frantically peeking around to the sight of empty woods. He already recognizes the divot his ass left in the dirt when he was recording all his intel here earlier that day, so he knows he hasn't gone far… but how did he get here?

"Naruto, up here." He quickly follows that familiar voice to find Kakashi lounging in a tree, reading his usual Icha Icha. "We all brought you out here because we need to have a very important and confidential chat with you."

Naruto stares for a moment as he registers the 'we' in his statement, before whirling around to see the three other men perches in nearby trees. The first to stand out is his adoptive father Iruka, kneeling on a lower branch and still holding the last handsign for the water jutsu that woke him up. Second is Hiruzen Sarutobi himself, the Sandaime, in his combat gear including a black jumpsuit and helmet. The last figure confuses him for a moment, another old man standing cross-armed in a red vest with shaggy white hair past his hips and a giant scroll strapped on his back. The custom headband with the kanji for oil gives him away though, and Naruto's left wide-eyed and stunned. "… J.. J-Jiji? A-And Jiraiya?" He wheels back to Kakashi and his dad. "What's going on here?"

"What's happening, Naruto…" He's cut off as Jiraiya leaps down from his perch and crouches slightly to be at eye level with the orange-clad genin. "Is there's more secrets to you than just the Kyuubi, and we've decided you're ready to hear it."

Naruto stumbles back from Jiraiya and glances at Hiruzen. "… What secrets?"

He sighs and slowly walks down the tree to meet with everyone on the ground. "I told you that you weren't ready to know your heritage. Well, that's changed. But you must know that this too is an S rank secret, just as the Kyuubi is, but unlike that one, you will not have permission to speak of this openly for some time yet. Not until you're a Chuunin, at the very least."

Naruto audibly gulps as that fact sinks in. How could the secret to his parentage be so important? Unless-

At that moment, the pieces come together. The Sandaime as the ruling force and officiator. Kakashi as the student, Jiraiya as the teacher, his adoptive father there for support. It all comes together in an instant, and he draws his textbook on sealing, scrawled with notes on every page, from a seal on the inside of his hoodie. He turns to the inside of the front cover and finds the signature of the man who marked it up to hell and back for the sake of improving the art of sealing.

That signature was none other than the Yondaime Hokage himself, Minato Namikaze.

"… You've gotta be shitting me." He nearly drops the book. "You've been setting me up for this reveal for months. My sensei, this book, getting me on a mission close to Jiraiya…" He slumps against a tree. "… Of course he chose me. How could the Yondaime have chosen anyone but his own son to be a jinchuuriki?"

Kakashi nods and looks up to the stars through the sparse leaves above. "He couldn't make someone else make a sacrifice he wasn't willing to himself. But, there was more to it…"

Iruka sighs deeply as he takes a seat beside his adoptive son. "I knew them both well enough. Minato was an idol to me. Uzumaki Kushina was beautiful and terrifying, but had so much life to her." He peeks down to Naruto with a smile. "You take after her a lot more than you do your dad, honestly."

Jiraiya snorts. "Minato's mind and Kushina's hyperactivity and penchant for pranks? I swear, it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen." Naruto chuckles half-heartedly at that, but the sage's next comment shuts him up fast. "But, you also inherited her status as a jinchuuriki from her."

Silence falls as Naruto registers that fact. "… So something caused the seal to break on the night I was born, releasing the fox with me, and… she must have been dying as a result."

Hiruzen grunts and nods in confirmation. "As you suspect. She was in a heavily guarded base far off from the village to deliver you, in case the seal broke, with your father maintaining it. Something happened that night to break the seal, and when a jinchuuriki loses their tenant, they are certain to die in short order. Your mother lasted long enough so aid your father in resealing the fox into you. Not only were you the only candidate as their son, but the best candidate, as an Uzumaki. The third Uzumaki to contain the Kyuubi."

Naruto raises his head with a jump and stares the Hokage in the eyes. "Third? Who was the first?"

"Ah…" Hiruzen strokes his fingers through his beard. "That would be your great great aunt, Uzumaki Mito, the Shodaime's wife. Mito was a wonderful woman, I know you would have loved her. She aided her husband in sealing the Kyuubi the first time after Uchiha Madara chose to summon and hypnotize the Kyuubi to his will in their final battle at what is now the Valley of End. It was discovered afterwards that the Uzumaki bloodline is especially potent as jinchuuriki, and most capable of containing the fox. Any other child may have died in the process."

Naruto falls silent once more and lets all these facts mingle and interlock, and the moment the Madara fact links back to his conversation earlier that night, he jolts to his feet. "The night I was born, another Uchiha attacked and put the Kyuubi under another genjutsu."

All shinobi present look to one another as they consider this information. Although things like this are normally high above Iruka's pay grade, he's always been good at gathering intel, and he's had similar suspicions for a long time. Jiraiya is the first to speak up. "I heard you and your team talking about all this earlier, and already filled the other three here in." He gestures to his sensei with a tilt of his head. "He'd already suspected that a long time ago but didn't want to believe it. Knowing what we do now, it seems undeniable."

Hiruzen sighs and hangs his head. "Yet another failure in my duties as Kage. Still… I doubt there were any Uchiha alive at the time with that sort of talent. I'm still not certain what to think."

"Either way…" Kakashi buts in and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm sure you see exactly why we had to wait so long to tell you…"

Jiraiya grumbles. "And keep our distance…" He shakes his head and tightly grips his crossed arms. "I wanted to be there for you from the start, but my job and the beacon it would put on you couldn't allow it. I couldn't stay in the village with you because my spy network would have collapsed and leaked intel everywhere, and me being seen with you would have told every foreign spy exactly who you are. I couldn't bring you with because my work requires a specific skill set that no child can meet even with my guidance." He finally looks Naruto in the eyes again, his own aged and sagging as though this one confession was aging him another decade. "I've failed you as a godfather."

Naruto stares into his freshly-met family's eyes for several tense moments. That tension grows deeper for just a moment as Naruto rushes him with a jab to the sage's gut. He doesn't bother to dodge or block, taking it directly and hunching over, only to then find the boy's face buried into him and his other arm around his back. "… B-But I know you had to do it… and I know you can make it up to me…"

Jiraiya sputters silently for a moment but lets just a few tears free as he kneels down and pulls the overwhelmed blonde boy into his arms. "I promise I will. You can count on it, kid. You'll see a lot more of me soon, and eventually, I'll personally train you. Ya got that, gaki?"

Naruto chuckles and grins through tears as he pulls back. "I-I got it! I'll be waiting for you, Ero-Sennin."

"Hey, where the hell did that name come from?!"

"Dad called you a perv all over his notes in this textbook, I'm making that a family tradition."

"Iruka, please, tell your son to cut it out."

"I dunno, I think it's pretty accurate."

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A.N.: Happy Holidays, everyone! Here's a little gift for yas, one that I was finally able to crank out after getting back home for winter break and escaping finals season. I hope you all enjoy all the reveals here and setups for plot divergence. As for where all it goes from here, oooh boy...

Anyway, I'mma get back to playing Smash Ultimate and learning Incineroar so I can make everyone run the ropes at my girlfriend's New Years Eve party. See yas!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Secrets Uncovered

Naruto wakes to find the familiar chill of concrete on his back and dim torchlight surrounding him, staring up into an infinite abyss littered with floating gears, axels, and pistons. With a hefty sigh, he sits up and props himself with both arms. "How goes it, fox?"

The Kyuubi grunts and barely opens one eye from his perch on the titanic pillow Naruto had spawned in his cage. "Decently, all things considered. Your conversation with the old monkey and the toad earlier was intriguing."

Naruto snorts and backflips to his feet. "Of course you were watching that. So what out of that got your attention, then?"

He huffs. "The part where they already figured out I wasn't in control that night. I'll need to have a nice long chat with the monkey one of these days…"

Naruto pinches his chin and considers the potential of that. "… Think we could get Inoichi to help with that if Jiji ordered it?"

The fox falls silent, but slowly grins down to his captor. "It's wonderful, watching you abuse your connections like that without making an ass of yourself. There's a big difference between using your resources and swinging someone else's dick around like it's your own."

Naruto snorts and stumbles at that comment. "O-Oh my god, I have to use that one, p-please let me teach Konohamaru with that one!" He coughs between fits of laughter. "Kami, I never thought I'd hear anything half that funny out of your mouth."

The fox rolls his eyes and grumbles. "Well, I had examples from your mother to draw from. I normally could only see through her seal when she was stressed or angry, but she had quite the mouth in those instances. Mito was such a kind old woman, and then I ended up with that loudmouth? Just my luck, really." He slowly sits up and stretches his back. "Still, she spawned a decent brat, so whatever."

"You know I can take that pillow from you for talking shit about her, right?"

"… Fine, I'll stop there. Just know I didn't have the best opinion of her. She was a terrible warden. Maybe, probably, a good person, but terrible to me."

"… Fair enough." Naruto sighs and steps closer to the bars. "So, you've confirmed the whole Uchiha genjutsu angle now. Not much we can do about that now, especially as weak as I am still." He stops by the bars, close enough to be clawed, and stares up into the fox's titanic eyes. "So what now? Any other big revelations for me?"

"… Hmmm…" The fox lays back down and rests his head on crossed paws. "None at the moment, but I can say you're about ready to start using some of my power. You're short of a tail yet, but I don't see you getting too many drawbacks from half of one. Might burn like hell at first, though."

Naruto raises an eyebrow. "How bad a burn we talkin?"

"Teuchi's experimental Molten Chipotle Ramen running through your veins while Sasuke uses you as a katon practice dummy again."

Naruto shudders and stumbles back. "W-Well then, that'll be a last resort only for now. No wonder that shit popped all my clones instantly…"

The fox snorts. "You humans have such weak constitution. I once had two A rank shinobi crawling around in my innards and attacking from the inside, and I'd still equate it to little more than indigestion for you."

"How the fuck?"

"They were attacking me, and I was hungry."

"Welp!" Naruto throws his arms up and turns to leave. "I've had enough of your twisted ass for now! Nice chat, I'll try and come back sooner next time. Feels like this is getting easier…" As his unconscious thought trails off, he wakes into consciousness in Tazuna's home and finds himself staring at the ceiling. "Huh, just woke up and yet already wide awake." He sits up with one quick forward swing and peeks around to find Sasuke and Sakura muttering to each other in the corner, with Yoko laid across Sakura's lap. "Morning, guys. What I miss?"

Sasuke smirks and pushes himself to his feet. "We were just trading some genjutsu pointers, now that my eyes are up and running."

"Good move." Naruto pulls his covers aside and rolls to his feet. "So, that's one more trick for when MC Butcher and The Cold Shoulder show up. I doubt it's quite enough yet, though…" He hums to himself and scoops Yoko up as she trots over.

Sakura pouts a bit as the kit leaves her lap, but focuses on their strategist's ramblings instead. "What, you have some suggestions to prepare for him?"

"A few. For now though, we have guard duty on the bridge, right?"

Sasuke nods and shoves his hands in his pockets on the way to the door. "Yep. Lemme guess: You wanna recon the most likely battlefield for where to put your traps, right?"

"You read my mind…" Naruto chuckles grimly and pulls a scroll from his hoodie as he pulls it on. "Let's see here, what prototypes should I experiment with against a Jonin?"

Sakura shakes her head at his absurdity, but pauses at the sight of one of them from over his shoulder. "Wait, that one there!"

"Hm?" He pauses and stares at her recommendation for the trap. "Hmm… Warm, wet environment, low visibility, merges well with the jutsu Kakashi's teaching me today…" His grin slowly grows wider by the moment. "Oh hell yes. Ok, I'll catch up with you guys at the bridge soon." He closes the scroll and stocks it away. "I've gotta go collect some materials for this trap, can't be too hard to find them here. I'll be back with it all soon!" He leaps out the window before Sakura can protest enough for him to notice.

"Damnit, Naruto! Ugh…" She slouches un exasperation, but peeks back to Sasuke for a moment. "I'm not telling Kakashi he did something stupid again."

"Hey, you're the one who inspired him to do it."

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* * *

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Deep in the densely flowered forests of western Nami no Kuni, a young woman wanders between the trees in her faded pink kimono, her hair out of its usual bun and lowered down her back. Her beauty is stunning, the colorful surroundings complimenting her porcelain skin and earthy eyes. Her basket, swinging at her left side, is half filled with various flowers and herbs, carefully selected for their medicinal properties. Her hunt has gone well, but one more material seems urgent to collect. A bite her adoptive father received at hand of the fox kit of Kanoha Team 7 was infected. Something told her it wasn't poor dental hygiene to blame, but some kind of low ranking poisonous technique, probably still in training.

Regardless, she had to gather all the supplies necessary to finish Zabuza's recovery as quickly as possible, but always took care to collect more than needed to make excess medicine to stock for later.

But upon leaning down to collect a flower that can be ground and pasted into a numbing agent, she almost headbutts a familiar shinobi in black and orange. She instinctively wants to leap back and throw the senbon she has on hand, but keeps her cool and instead stumbles back in a clumsy, civilian manner. "O-Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know anyone else was out here!"

Naruto chuckles and shrugs and he stands, taking a few samples of that flower with him and sealing it away. "Nah, it's cool. I'm kinda sneaky." He tugs his headband with his thumb to point it out. He pauses at the sight of her basket, though. "Quite the collection you've got there. Not the best botanist myself, but it looks like you've got a lot of meds to make."

"O-Oh, yes." She giggles nervously, maintaining a forcibly peppy demeanor for her disguise. "I have someone I care dearly for that's in dire need of these. I don't see any reason we can't both get everything we need from this garden, though…" She peeks around for a moment, keeping the appearance of having a low guard. "Plenty to work with, for whatever the case. Food may be in short supply here, but in many other ways, this land is quite plentiful."

"Don't need to tell me that." Naruto chuckles as he leans back and laces his fingers behind his head. "Got some stinkweed, a few species really rich in capsaicin, a few poisons, some heavily irritating pollens that stick to the inside of your lungs and make breathing itchy…" He laughs maniacally. "So much potential!"

Her smile drops as her mouth falls agape. "That's… just diabolical."

"Oh, I know." He reaches out for a shake. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha genin, prankster extraordinaire, and future Hokage."

She raises an eyebrow, but slowly reaches out for a shake, keeping her grip weak as part of her façade. "Call me Haku. Do you really think a publicly recognized prankster can become a Kage?"

"I dunno. Do ya think enemies can become allies?"

Stillness and silence falls. The trees have long since smothered any winds or ambience from the nearby town. Haku's false smile remains up, but she prepares to make use of her senbon at any given moment. "And what brings you to ask that?"

Naruto shrugs and keeps both hands visible. No signs of conflict can show, for now. "No threat. Yoko already sniffed you out before ya saw me and remembered your scent from the last fight…" Said kit pops from the earth at his side and yips up to him. "and I have intel from some of the women Gato's been using that suggests he doesn't plan to pay either of you."

Her eyes narrow as Naruto lays his cards on the table. "Is that so?... So you propose a truce on the grounds of the lack of benefit to us fighting any longer?"

"Yep. Simple as that. If you're willing to take a step further yet, we can topple the imp together and both take a cut from his pockets on the way out, free his slaves, round up his thugs, the works." Naruto knew he had her the moment he mentioned freeing the slaves. Her façade broke for just a moment.

"… I'll hear you out, but I'm not sure if Zabuza will agree."

"Good enough for me."

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* * *

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Partway around the island, on the towering unnamed bridge between Nami and Hi, the real Naruto perks up and saunters over from his post to Kakashi. A quick exchange of whispers, and Kakashi creates a clone behind a set of crates beside him, which immediately dashes off into the woods. "Good work, Naruto. Just make sure you get your supplies to Sakura so she can make those concoctions for you, and we should be set."

Naruto shakes his head and looks out to the sea of blonde, black, and orange scrambling about the end of the bridge, carrying supplies, inspecting the underside by walking upside-down, and taking measurements of various parts of the structure. "I have a few other steps in mind, and Tazuna already approved them as long as I use my clones to help with construction and speed things up. Layer this Plan A and Plan B together, and we've got a lot covered, and Plan C can involve all the aspects of A and B rearranged. Be careful how you layer your traps, sensei. You never know what order they'll be tripped in, so make it flexible."

Kakashi hums and tilts his head. "I suppose that's right. Most shinobi are trained to be sure what traps are set in what order by guessing the opponent's logic, while layering obvious traps with less obvious ones. But, you're the expert in this field. Considering the number of pranks you've caught me in, I'd defer to your logic here." He sighs and rubs the back of this neck. "Traps have never been quite my forte. Always much more of an infiltration, assassination, and direct combat type."

"Those are the most important fields in the entire shinobi force, though." Naruto shrugs. "Nothing wrong with it, and nobody can know everything. I'm a supposed 'trap expert', yet I'm still constantly running into new questions and spending weeks looking for answers."

Kakashi chuckles and leans forwards and off the crate stack, slowly walking off with his hands deep in his pockets. "Truer words, Naruto. Keep it up, and just be sure to warn us about whatever traps you have set up here."

Naruto soon starts to chuckle as Kakashi walks away, his clones joining in one by one until it becomes a chorus of maniacal laughter. His entire team trembles at the thought of what perversions of logic and twisted weaponry the young blonde is preparing. Tazuna can only grin and laugh along with them as he swings too and fro in a drunken stupor. "Keep working, brats! We're making incredible time!"

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* * *

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Iruka wanders through the village, now in the civilian garb of a sand-colored vest and pants with a white shirt that has Naruto's Uzumaki Clan symbol in blue on it, in a sort of multi-shaded tie-dye pattern. He'd taken to that symbol all too willingly, recalling how much he looked up to Kushina as sort of his nee-san. To now have adopted Naruto, he truly felt he may as well be a member of the clan. Now, ludicrous amounts of chakra he may not have, but he does share one common aspect of the clan, so it's not too far-fetched.

He stumbles to a halt at the sight of a young lad curled up in a crate at the curb of nearly empty lot. All that remains there is ash and blackened beams. The stucco walls had crumbled in the flames and left no wall standing. Little does he know, the scrawny raven-haired child in the crate is the very same Sasuke has defended a few days prior. He's accumulated a few things in his crate since. He's gotten a small rug along the bottom, and a blanket to wrap himself in to keep warm in the night. A tarp overtop it blocks out the occasional rain, keeping his temporary home dry. He's clearly a resilient young lad, valuable in his position and in this shinobi-run world.

The moment Iruka catches sight of the boy, he knows just what to do. He can't take him in himself, not enough room at home, and not financially stable enough for another mouth to feed. But, he knows someone who can and would. Two old friends of his happen to be looking to have a kid of their own, but… neither one is able to handle an infant, and one's injuries from her career have prevented her from ever bearing children. Adopting this young lad would be the perfect solution. "Yugao, Hayate… You two are gonna owe me for this one." He chuckles and walks up to the crate with a smile, kneeling down to check on the now cowering young boy. "Everything's alright. I'm not here to hurt you. If you're willing to let me, I'd actually like to help you."

The boy slowly peeks up to him through his overgrown hair, his green eyes faded and unfocused. "W... W-Why?"

Iruka chuckles as he drops down to sit in front of the crate. "Because I've been where you are. No friends to rely on, no family left, no home to return to. It happened when I was a bit older than you, though." He looks to the day's cloudy sky, reminiscing on those almost soul-crushing days. "Nobody deserves to be left like that. I know people here in this village are struggling to support themselves, you won't find a stable family here. But you will in Kanoha, and you'll be safe there. So what do ya say?" He reaches out to take the boy's hand. Will you come with me?"

Silence falls as the gentle ocean breeze blows between them. The young one is conflicted, unsure if he can trust a complete stranger after another had burned his home down, and others had harmed him, but… that will to survive, and the faintest glimmer of hope, pushes him to reach out-

"Oy, away from the brat." The boy withdraws into his crate as a small crew of thugs arrives at Iruka's back. Two of them are hefting iron clubs over their shoulders, with the third carrying an unwieldy- too much so to be intimidating- odachi. Iruka doesn't even need to look to know none of them are professionals. He could hear them coming from the other end of the block, and instantly knew they'd be a problem.

Despite the danger the boy perceives, he's stunned into silence by the patient smile on Iruka's face. The teacher, far from his office as he is, maintains a professional air about him when dealing with unruly brats. These thugs certainly aren't matured enough to be considered adults.

He slowly turns to look over his shoulder at them, arms crossed and eternally casual. "Can't you three see I'm in the middle of a conversation here? I know you're hired thugs, but you should have a bit more respect than that." Just as the first thug swings his club down, Iruka rolls out of the way and upside-down before pushing off the ground and thrusting a skyward kick into the offending fool's nose. He stumbles back in pain and drops his weapon, which Iruka picks up with chakra adhesion on his foot and slings into the second man's gut. The third stares Iruka dead in the eye for a moment before swinging his odachi down with a wild, curving, vertical swing. The scarred shinobi redirects the blade with a single backhanded kunai, then stabs them in the bicep to ruin their muscle control and make them drop the blade. He screams out as the blade clatters to the dirt road, only to be silenced with a swift leaping knee to the jaw, clacking his teeth together and rattling his skull out of consciousness. "There. Now go home and think about what you've done."

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* * *

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Traditional clan compounds of Kanoha are old and formal architecture. Barely polished wood panels, clay shingles, white stucco, and a generous length of porches acting as outdoor hallways. The Hyuuga compound is also full of and surrounded by cobbled walls, zen gardens with Edo styled bridges over private koi ponds, and sakura trees scattered throughout. Traditional, clean, pristine, and prestigious.

But one room even the greatest of guests- short of the Hokage- never get to see.

The council chamber is hidden within what appears to be one of the larger residential compounds, just a tad smaller than the ruling family's compound. The entrance cannot be found by regular means, as a seal-enforced genjutsu is placed over it, which only a byakugan or sharingan user would be able to naturally see through.

Inside the chamber, three rising tiers of seats are filled with the elderly and valuable of the clan, their aged and judgmental eyes staring down the clan head currently kneeling before them all. Hiashi could count on being called to this chamber at least once a week, bare minimum. This particular meeting was far from scheduled, but he knew all too well what it must be concerning.

"Hiashi…" One of the oldest and most confident elders speaks with a raspy tone, but his voice has remained as deep as in his prime. "Your daughter has shown flagrant disrespect for the clan's arts. Not only has she completely ignored our sacred Jyuuken style, but she's been training in elemental manipulation. Our clan is founded upon the use of raw chakra. Anything less is disgraceful."

"Not only this…" A woman ten seat to his left and one down speaks up with a nasal whine. "She's injured her sparring partners with these elemental techniques and disrupted the peace and tranquility of our gardens with her training."

"What have you to say for your offspring, Hiashi?" Worthless words coming from Hiashi's own father, who watched one of his children die without a care in the world and speaking of his own granddaughter as nothing but a nuisance. Hiashi had lost all love for the man many years ago, long before being wed to his late wife, but now, there was even contempt rising from the emotionless pit between them.

His reply would have to be absolute. A combination of offense to drive their threats back and defense to prevent any further.

"… My words for her and for her ears and mine alone, council. As for what I have to say for you, it is not quite as kind." He narrows his eyes, almost activating his Byakugan, but stopping just short of it. To turn it on and prove the loss of his temper would be disastrous, but to stop short and prove anger and control in equal measure is a powerful deterrent. "We are indeed a powerful and noble clan, but that does not deny us what we are founded upon, and what the greatest of us were and are: shinobi. And a shinobi is what my daughter is now proving herself. To be one is to be injured and keep fighting, to adapt against adversity and around or through whatever stands against you. At first, I must admit, I agreed with you all, that my daughter was weak and not fit to lead this clan or act as a shinobi."

He sighs deeply and closes his eyes for just a moment, proving shame for the briefest of moments, only to insist that they too should feel the same. Only when he knows it's sunk in does he open his eyes and stare into theirs, one after another in quick precession. "At first. Now, I see I, and all you, were far from correct. My daughter has now found her strengths and adapted to shinobi life in her own way. If you were to directly observe her instead of following the word of spiteful members of the main house who despise her growth, you would see that her style adapts the Jyuuken into something analogous but casting aside the rigid and constricting stances for something more fluid. Looking into our archives, into the branches of styles once used by this clan until we became so puritan, there was a form known as the Ame no Jyuuken. She has adapted this very form and recreated it through sheer determination to succeed." His eyes narrow into silver daggers upon his father's eyes. "I do believe mother was one of the last to use this style, if you may recall."

Knowing he's nearly sealed his argument, he stands, refusing to kneel before the elder council with his final statement. "You may have already counted Hinata out as my successor and heir to the clan, and I may have been close to following suit once before, but as the issue stands now, she is more fit to become out clan head than any of you will ever agree upon. Do not forget that I alone am head of this clan, and my word is final, no matter the sway you may have. She will remain the heiress as of now, and if any acts are taken to impede her progress, there will be consequences, no matter your rank, for the sake of our clan's future." He doesn't need to activate his Byakugan against them to know by their expressions that many wish to speak out. It's for this reason that he finally tips over the edge into open rebellion, activating his Byakugan and inflicting a powerful of a killing intent as he can muster. "And for those of you who choose to vote against this ruling, know that should you be the minority, there will be dire consequences for your transgressions."

The silence of the chamber is consumed by seething rage and shock as Hiashi marches out of the chamber. His eyes shut off just as he leaves the room, recomposing himself in time to witness the subject of this latest argument in the midst of her training.

Hinata sits in the center of the nearest koi pond, not on a stone, bridge, or island, but on the water, meditating as the water ripples outwards in time with her heartbeat. It's not entirely still otherwise, as her own movements- from involuntary twitches to breathing- interrupt it, but the scene is tranquil, nonetheless. Surrounding her are dozens of leaves scattered about and cut in half, floating upon the water and slowly pushed by each ripple, closer and closer to the edge.

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* * *

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A.N.: So, how's everybody doing? I'm early into spring break, I typed half of this with a bone-deep cut on one fingertip, and I'm hyping over every game under the sun, particularly DMC5 and Pokemon Sword and Shield. (As a mythology buff, there's surprisingly ore to dig into in the later than the former) Sorry this has taken so long, but I'm in my final semester of college and assignments stacked up quickly and overwhelmingly for a while. Otherwise, things have been going wonderfully, and I'm probably going to split the rest of my night between building more extravagant custom NPC houses in Terraria and editing my book. You can expect the next chapter to be a bit faster, as I'm much quicker with fight scenes and oooh boy we got one comin. So, I hope you're all enjoying my special brand of logic-inspired madness and at this rate I fully expect another 50 followers before the next chapter. I hope to get a lot more reviews this time around though, cuz I'm really short on those.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Secret Weapons

Pulleys, hinges, levers, tripwires, and pressure plates. As a habitual and rampant prankster, Naruto had come to see the entire world as his playground of tiny mechanisms to take advantage of. If a store that overcharged him had a hanging sign out front, he saw the sign as the perfect opportunity to rig up a discrete itching powder dispenser that used the shaking caused by people passing underneath to disperse tiny amounts of its contents every time someone enters the store. If the teachers at the academy intentionally screwed up one of his lessons, he would use their desk drawers as a pressure switch to unleash a blast of whatever noxious concoction he could get his hands on. Lesser infractions incurred paint bombs or glitter.

And then he learned he could make a living off this talent.

It opened his eyes to a whole new reality and make him see the world as not just harmless pranks- but a mechanic to harm someone with some unfortunate circumstance at any given moment. Any location, any physical mechanic built into the surroundings, could be used to rig up one of his beautiful machinations of pain and humiliation. It was a challenge to find the right trap for any circumstance, to handle any opponent.

This bridge is his greatest challenge yet.

Architecturally, it's sound, it's solid, and free of the many vices that could leave it open to his trickery. Naruto's many machinations require moving parts, closed spaces, or loose soil. None of that is here, no place to hide his toys, no naturally existing mechanisms to take advantage of as a part of his strategy, and no natural landmarks to reshape and process into a usable form. A blank slate upon which he can only build, but building anything upon it would be all too obvious.

How does one turn an immovable blank slate into a successful trap?

Even Kakashi was dubious on the possibility of it in such a space, at least for the first few hours. They all knew the battle would have to take place here, it was the perfect arena in which their opponents would have an overwhelming elemental advantage. It's also somewhere they would all be required to be as a part of their mission and efforts to complete the bridge and free this country from Gato's grasp. It had to be here, and so, they had to find some way to even the odds against Zabuza and his partner. But could they?

Kakashi's answer came in the form of more and more of Naruto's teeth showing as his grin widens and his clones scattered across the bridge begin to laugh maniacally for the third time that day.

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* * *

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Yamanaka Ino tends to be underestimated. In more practical shinobi arts, she's certainly subpar, but more advanced and specified arts are more her specialty. When it came to information, none in her generation were nearly as capable as Ino. Her ability to psychologically profile someone within minutes is almost unnatural. Her talent for gossip allows her to gather information from all corners of the village and then compare and contrast varying conflicting rumors, then confirm it through rigorous research. Of course, very few would expect that her close contact with the Anbu and T&I division through her father was one of her most valuable resources, despite her lack of clearance.

She's always been smarter than most gave her credit for between her bouts of fangirlism-induced madness, and her recent research has become some of the most critical proof of that fact.

But what really shocked the clan was one trick in particular she began researching with a dose of help from one of their brother clans, the Akamichi. Those pills are far from a secret for the active shinobi of the Yamanaka clan, but to think someone would dare to produce a less dangerous alternative through their botanical knowledge and the addition of chakra conducting and containing roots of the Senju clan's trees. Not only has it improved the quality of the Akamichi's pills, with the Hokage's permission to access the roots oft cast aside when Senju trees are cut, but given Ino the component needed to test the next great step in her revolution of her family's jutsu.

She stands at her father's office door, going over her questions and demands thrice more, and with a final burst of confidence, she knocks and call out. "Daddy! I have a few questions regarding my jutsu experiments."

Slowly, the office door opens, and Inoichi stares down at his daughter with scrutinizing eyes. He knew she had approached, and how long she had been standing there. Obviously, she was about to ask for some potentially critical and dangerous information. It wouldn't be the first time.

"… Very well, then. Come right in, princess." He sets the door aside and waves her in, then upon closing it, triggers his silencing seals and returns to his seat. "So, what exactly is it you're working on? I was impressed enough with your new chakra pills, but I suppose that was just step one of your plan, wasn't it?"

She grins almost cockily. "As usual, you don't need our jutsu to read my mind, daddy. Yep, I'm workin on something big." She pulls a scroll from her pocket and slowly unfurls it. "Our clan doesn't really use clones, for the obvious reason of our lack of enough chakra to really take advantage of them. But I noticed something contradicting that in our clan's history." She peeks up from her scroll. "Great grandpa Isao helped the Nidaime make the Kage Bunshin. He provided the necessary components to add their cognitive and recollective ability. He made the Kage Bunshin the ultimate tool for safely collecting intel and providing clones capable of using every skill the original knows."

Inoichi's brow furls. He knew all too well that his grandfather has done this, but he'd never thought much of it. He had aided a Kage, one known to be a grand genius, just as the two that followed him, but… how much had Isao actually provided, and how much of it could be used for their own jutsu? Isao's death was under unknown circumstances. He died young, in combat in the first war, using a technique that none could identify. Could that be...?

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* * *

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Having breakfast at Tazuna's on the seventh day, one would expect things to be slow and tense. They know Zabuza is most likely to arrive today, and Gato is getting impatient. There's a drastic fight ahead of them, and very little they can do to avoid it.

Instead, their newest arrival, a young boy named Hideki whom Sasuke and Iruka had both rescued, is eagerly chatting away between everyone as he digs into his first real meal in weeks. He rants and rambles about how cool he thinks Sasuke's team and Iruka are, though never commenting on Kakashi, as the man had done nothing in his presence yet. He still has rice stuck to his face as he speaks more with his body than with words, flailing about and trying to mimic everyone's techniques. Of course, both Iruka and Kakashi pick up on signs of the boy already having some impressive physical conditioning, possibly caused by the local poverty and necessity for survival.

His future in Konoha would be bright.

"-and then you-!"

"Ok, that's enough." Sasuke grabs the boy's ankle as he nearly gets kicked in the jaw. Despite his annoyance, he can't help but appreciate how much the boy admires their work. "You're gonna break something at this rate." He releases the boy's foot, and he pouts and drops back into his seat. "Besides, we can be so much cooler than that. We'll have to show you sometime, but there'll be better days for that ahead. Today, we need to finish our mission, and you need to stay here and safe in the meantime."

"H-Hey!" he jumps back from his seat and tries to tower over the seated genin. "Why can't I come? You guys protected me before, why can't you protect me today?"

Naruto ruffles his hair as he stands. "Because the guys we're up against are as tough as us, and we already have to protect Tazuna. We can't protect you both at the battlefield, so you stay here and wait for us to get back, ok?" On his way to the door, he peeks out the window to his left and sees Jiraiya seated in a tree, watching over the house. His skills would be wasted on this bridge today, but he's more than welcome here watching over Tazuna's family and Hideki. Chances of Gato throwing a few thugs their way are pretty likely, of course. But, just in case… "And whatever you do, stay inside. I'll be rigging all the entrances and exits with some of my traps, but staying inside won't trip any of them. I'll disarm them all when we get back."

"Wait.." Nami stumbles towards the door. "What?" Just as she gets there, the door shuts, and a series of seals trigger that lock it up as tight as the Hokage's vault. She rattles the handle a few times, but the glowing seals upon the door gravitate towards the seals tagged onto the doorframe and prevent any more than a millimeter's shift under her meager strength. This seal impacts both the inside and outside of the door, but the seals Naruto then tags the outside with are prepared for anyone who attempts to break in before his return.

Naruto shrugs and turns to walk off without a word, hands deep in his pockets. Tazuna looks between the genin and the door frantically. "A-Are you sure that's a good idea? Like, those aren't gonna blow up like your seals yesterday, right?!"

"Those were designed to blow up. Unless I took that last batch out of the wrong pocket, those ones are designed to stab." He pauses and tilts his head skyward. ".. Was that the left or right jacket pocket?"

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* * *

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Sarutobi Hiruzen sits at the back of his office, chair swiveled away to take in the ever-enchanting view of the village from his many windows. He'd been the second-longest standing Kage of all time, and it still hadn't gotten old. He'd watched this village grow from it's early days, helped it rise to its current greatness. How many of these buildings had he commissioned? How much larger had this place grown under his watchful eyes and guiding hand? If anything, this would be the one thing his dear departed sensei would be most proud of him for. How much this village has grown and prospered under his rule.

But the greater a tree grows, the more at risk it is of parasites and infections.

Hiruzen grumbles to himself and fiddles with his pipe. Danzo… He's been eerily silent. The man used to hound him constantly for militaristic legislature or insisting on training shinobi in the morally vacant arts at younger ages. Now he only ever saw the fool either during council meetings or on his rare excursion to his favorite public park to sit beneath the village's oldest sakura tree.

Too silent. The man may be old, but they were same damn age, and Hiruzen would be damned if his workaholic rival had let himself decay into retirement while he had the hat. ROOT still had to be operating, but he was keeping it more covert than ever. ROOT operations in Konoha had gone entirely unspotted for quite some time. No identifiable recruitments, no unauthorized bases uncovered, and no operatives caught in four years. So how was he doing it?

Largely foreign operations? Likely; Eliminating foreign "threats" pre-emptively was always his MO, no matter their innocence.

Bases set outside of Konoha? Maybe some, but not central. He values the village too highly for that. Only other possibility then is he's found a concealment method they his own Anbu lack a workaround for just yet.

Recruit through foreign bases. Collect selected shinobi from high-risk missions, report all units dead. Settle deals with orphanages outside his jurisdiction. Always keep about a third of his forces on hand at home at all times, the rest scattered in foreign bases to receive missions and warn of potential offending parties. Easy for them to run interference while retreating in the event of an unforeseen large attack force. Efficient, inconspicuous if done right, and very difficult to pin down, especially since his bases always have self-destruct protocols that go off with a hair trigger. He always has contingencies for contingencies, traps over-

His head bolts upright as the Will of Fire sparks brilliance.

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* * *

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Right on cue. Kakashi saunters to the lead of the pack as they approach the bridge, finding cut and bloodstained bodies scattered about the supply stations on their end of the bridge. All brilliantly executed and in the middle of menial labor. Left open to assault with their hands occupied. Textbook, but in such mass at once and at such speed is certainly the work of an expert.

No sense in holding back. He raises his headband and his sharingan spins freely.

"Alright, kids. You know the drill. Defend our man at all costs and pull no punches. Our opponents are true professionals, and they will not hesitate to kill us at any moment." He grumbles as a thin mist develops, approaching the bridge, but leaving most visibility intact for now. "He's taunting us…"

Naruto chuckles and throws his arms behind his head. "Well, if someone taunts you, taunt in kind." He walks right onto the bridge and calls out without a care. "Oy, Captain Steaknife, did ya use that thing to skin the cow ya used for those obnoxious legwarmers? They make my buddy Lee's bright orange ones look good!"

A bark of laughter far across the bridge in thicker fog is followed by the fog slowly thinning to reveal five figures standing across the bridge. At the center of the troop is the great Momochi Zabuza, blade across his shoulders as stares a hole into the back of the second man's head.

Said dead man is none other than the subject of much of Naruto's intel, Rokusho Aoi. His attire, since leaving Kanoha, has been modified into a relatively standard Ame skin-tight wetsuit, bit sleeveless and faded blue. Upon his back is an upturned umbrella, but much more interesting is the bladeless pommel in his hand. Kakashi's eyes narrow on the blade as lightning sparks between his fingers for just a fraction of a second. Aoi is grinning cluelessly. "Good one, kid! I like your style."

"I'd say the same about you, but your head looks like someone put seaweed through a trash compactor to make a kindergarten theater wig."

Aoi's face contorts with disgust and rage, only to lose that disgust in place of more rage as the two remaining henchmen break into helpless laughter. These two are of course the returning Demon Twins, their chained gauntlet at the ready once more and prepared to rend their foes asunder… as soon as they can pick themselves off the floor. Behind them all, even Zabuza is chuckling and grinning like a madman, despite remaining alert. His masked companion Haku to the rear left is thus far silent.

Zabuza sighs in relief and places his free hand on his hip, shaking his head. "Oh, I needed that one. Thanks, brat. Now, which one of you wants to die first?"

"I'll take them myself." Aoi grunts and steps forwards with a growl, as raw lightning chakra begins to pour from the Raijin no Ken in his right hand.

Kakashi nods and waves forward from his left. "Sasuke, you've got this one." The last loyal Uchiha nods and steps forth without a word.

Aoi snorts and puts on his usual cocky grin. "What? I already said I'd kill all of you myself. You really wanna send this boy to the slaughter on his own?"

Sasuke rolls his neck and smirks. "I'm all we need to take you out. Just try me."

Aoi's smile fades as he narrows a glare Sasuke's way. "Fine… it's your funeral."

Haku leans towards Zabuza and whispers to him. "Uh… aren't we going to divvy up the rest of them and start fighting?"

Zabuza waves her off. "No, no, I wanna see this. I've been waiting _so_ goddamn long to watch this obnoxious son of a bitch die."

Aoi grits his teeth and growls, reaching for the umbrella on his back. "That's it! Everyone dies!" He throws the umbrella skywards and it hovers in the air. While suspended, he shifts through a series of handsigns and grins maliciously. "Jouro Senbon!" The umbrella begins to spin rapidly, unleashing a salvo of senbon in all directions and littering the bridge with them. Nowhere is safe, save for the wall of ice Haku raises to defend herself and Zabuza.

The Demon Brothers both scramble to escape this sudden bout of friendly fire, but end up running in opposite directions and pulling at their already wounded arms, leaving them in prime locations to receive a few dozen senbon each and slump over against the ice wall as the poison coated on the needles sinks in. One calls out from the wall, immobilized and slurring. "You fffuckin' asshole! You better have a fuckin' antidote!"

Aoi chuckles and shakes his head. "Sorry, you're not worth wasting it on. You two outlived your usefulness anyway." Turning back to the Kanoha troop he fully expects to be dead, he instead finds a wall of dried mud that caught every senbon flung in their direction. "You've gotta be shitting me."

"We're not."

Aoi just barely ducks to his right in time to avoid a horizontal swipe of Sasuke's own blade, a chokuto with a black and crimson laced tsuka. Looking over his shoulder, he finds the veins in Sasuke's eyes starting to rupture and seep blood into his onyx irises.

He vaults backwards and draws Raijin no Ken from his belt, swinging into Sasuke's blade and fully expecting the boy to attempt to block with it. Sasuke instead attempts to dodge beneath the blade, seeing the fault in blocking a blade made of pure lightning chakra, but he fails to sweep his blade low enough in time. A powerful shock courses through him, ripping a scream from the genin's throat as he nearly drops off his feet. Seeing an opening to strike, Aoi thrusts his foot into Sasuke's gut and sends him tumbling back across the bridge. "Are you really stupid enough to cross blades with me?!"

Sasuke grunts as he stumbles to his feet, then sheathes his blade at his back. "… You're right. I wanted to test myself in front of one of the Seven Swordsmen, but my blade's just a liability here…" He shifts into his standard combat stance and narrows his eyes. More vessels have opened, and they're almost entirely red now. "But I don't need it to kill you."

"Fine then!" He spreads his arms and leaves himself wide open. "Come at me, then!"

Sasuke takes one slow step forward- then streaks forwards with a burst of chakra from his foot, passing by the man's left. Aoi sees this coming and moves to block with his stolen blade, but Sasuke remains just out of its range, passing by with a tomoe in each eye. He skids to a stop behind Aoi, and despite the mild whiplash he's certain he'll receive, he bolts towards the man's back- aiming for the left still where he'll least expect it. He was right on the money, and gets one good jab in with his Mahiken, stunning the foolish wannabe swordsman and obliterating his guard. "W-What?!"

Sasuke smirks as he lands three more blows with Mahiken in quick succession, and just as Ai manages to power through and swing the Raijin no Ken regardless, he supercharges his Mahiken for just a moment to smack the blade aside with minimal stunning to himself and gets a solid jab to Aoi's right elbow.

Down goes the Raijin no Ken.

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "And here it comes."

Mahiken is a versatile and powerful skill, but far from the lethal tool of a shinobi. It can debilitate an opponent with ease, but dealing actual damage is something else entirely. Exactly why Sasuke chose to create this next addition to his arsenal.

As the shining blue sparks of electricity in his hands die out, an entirely different spark lights as his hands are shrouded in flame. "Meoruken!" (Burning Fist)

Each following blow in Sasuke's constant flurry lands with searing heat, cooking his flesh and setting the man's clothes ablaze. As Aoi stumbles back from each blow as second degree burns pile up across him, some on the verge of third, he leaves his guard open enough for Sasuke to grab his headband and channel fire chakra into it. This burns the Ame headband onto his forehead and leaves him screaming in agony- just before Sasuke kicks up the Raijin no Ken and catches it. His natural lightning affinity produces a longer blade, which cleaves clean through Aoi's neck and cuts his screams short.

Sasuke scoffs and wipes a few sparse specks of blood from his face as the body drops. "I guess I should seal that head for the bounty, shouldn't I?"

Kakashi nods and tosses the boy a scroll. "Go right ahead."

Off to the side, Zabuza starts a slow clap. "Excellent work, kid. Nice to see that self-important prick get what was comin' to 'em. I'd say you earned that blade…" He slowly starts to grin beneath his mask. "But let's see if you've got what it takes to survive _m-_ "

The entire population of the bridge is silenced as the entire end section of the bridge Zabuza stands on splits in half and folds like a book onto him, slamming shut with incredible speed. Naruto watches his handiwork from atop the mud wall with a grin. Axis were placed in the bridge itself during construction two days ago, with two very large weights provided by Tazuna's stocks of raw steel beams marked with gravity seals as the counterweights to force the whole thing to close on itself and crush anyone between the two halves in one swift move-

But it halts short of crushing them as Zabuza wedges them apart with Kubikiriboucho, hanging from his blade's tsuka with a blank, unamused glare. Haku is nowhere to be seen. "… Alright, I'm impressed, brat. But now you've gotta die."

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A.N.: How's everybody doin? I'm officially a graduate with a bachelor's in English now, on the job hunt, back to working on my book, goin to karaoke twice a week, and hype as shit about E3 this weekend. What are you all lookin forward to there? I'm hoping for Metroid Prime Trilogy on Switch, Bayonetta 3, Doom Eternal release date (and coming to Switch), whoever the Smash DLC character is, and an Ori & the Will of the Wisps release date. And maybe a Spawn gameplay trailer for MK11.

Anyway, I hope you like my newest step into Naruto's insanity and my expansion of Sasuke's skill set. And what could Ino and Hiruzen be planning?...


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